The Insanity Rave
by Rainbowinsanityvolt
Summary: Two weirdos join Vriska, Terezi, Roxy, Nepeta, and Latula in a series of shenanigans within the multiverse. Warning: Strong sexual content.
1. Descent into Madness

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Homestuck.

I hope you enjoy reading!

* * *

Once upon a time in a faraway land, no one really cared. It was glorious. There was also this teacher named Autumn Rose Rainbowlight III who was like super beautiful and stuff. It was her first day teaching, and her class was a day long session with a bunch of 10th graders who were too lazy to handle block schedules.

"Hello, dipshits," Autumn said, flipping her whimsical brunette hair.

No one said anything. They didn't have to. Autumn scanned every last one of them with her amber eyes.

There was like this one dude with mega purple eyes. They were so purple that he was probably not a normal human. There were also like these neon green flecks lining the side of his left iris which were rocking cool.

Autumn shot him, so he is no longer relevant.

Other students included Vriska Serket the Spider8itch, Roxy Lalonde, and some other peeps I'll get back to when I actually care.

"We're going to watch a movie," Autumn said.

Nobody really gave a shit.

"Most people would be happy!" Autumn shouted.

"I'm happy," Roxy replied.

"Thank you, Foxy Lalonde."

Autumn beckoned Roxy to the front of the classroom. They made out on Autumn's desk.

"I'm gonna get fired fo dis," Autumn said.

"Shh, it's okay," Roxy replied. "No one haz to know."

Everyone in the class raised their hands to object.

"You morons better not tell anyone," Autumn said.

She gave Roxy a gold star because she's so awesome and sent her back to her desk.

"Okayz," Autumn said. "Movie time."

She turned on Space Jam. That was the shit back in her day and she needed these homies to experience the magic. The opening song came on and Autumn sang along at the top of her lungs. Thankfully, the walls were soundproof.

"COME ON AND SLAM

AND WELCOME TO THE JAM

COME ON AND SLAM

IF YOU WANNA JAM!"

She grabbed a basketball off her desk and slammed it on the floor. It bounced and hit Vriska in the face.

"That's for breaking up Meenvris in the Homestuck update!" Autumn shouted. "WELCOME TO THE SPACE JAM!"

She busted some sick moves in front of the class. Half of the students cheered and earned cookies.

Anyway, in the movie, some alien dudes tried to kidnap the Looney Tunes to use for their theme park, only for Six Flags to do the same thing later on. There was also Michael Jordan. Autumn wished she could get ahold of the drugs it took to make this movie.

"You have just witnessed the greatest masterpiece of all time," Autumn said. "This is commercialism at its finest."

She wiped a tear from her eyes.

Vriska was glaring at Autumn with such hatred. The kismesis was totes there between those two. Autumn was punching her with her eyes.

"Hey, teach," said a kid. This kid was now relevant since his mouth flaps have uttered words. He had russet hair and he was holding a chicken.

"What?" Autumn asked. "I can't concentrate. That chicken looks delicious."

"His name is Prince Caspian," the boy replied. "And my name is Nerdboy."

"Okay, but did you need me for?"

"Gotta crap."

"Get out of here."

Nerdboy left with Prince Caspian. Autumn hoped he would come back. Chances were that he would either snitch on her or get killed by hallway aircraft. School was a dangerous freaking place. Still, Earth's population was too big.

While Nerdboy was gone, Autumn juggled ninja stars. One got stuck on the ceiling, but that was okay. She put the others away.

"Vriska," she said. "We mustn't delay the obvious kismesistry between us."

"I h8 you," Vriska said.

Autumn held out her arms. Vriska joined her in a warm embrace. They made out passionately against the desk. Once that ordeal was over, they were covered in scratches, because they still hated each other.

Vriska returned to her desk with a blue star. She kept her golden eyes on Autumn.

Then Nerdboy entered the room. He was holding a chicken wing he got out of the vending machine.

"I thought you didn't eat chicken," Autumn said.

"Prince Caspian isn't a rule, he's an exception," Nerdboy replied.

Nerdboy took a seat with his two chickens, one dead and one alive. Both were equally edible in Autumn's opinion, but that was because she was a freakin sociopath.

Autumn looked at the clock. It was 10:31 in the morning. This was going to be a long day. She opened a bottle of Mountain Dew and guzzled it down.

She was so bored. 151 minutes had gone by and she'd already done all of the fun stuff she had planned. Make out with people? Check. Watch Space Jam? Check. Drink Mountain Dew? If there wasn't a check here, she'd need to question her sanity.

A thought occurred to her that making out wasn't the first thing she'd get fired for. It was actually the kid she'd shot and killed earlier. Well, then. This was a prison sentence waiting to happen.

Autumn finally realized that she would need to get out now and start a new life. She jumped out the window and got into her pink limo. She drove all the way to Alskettistan, the 54th state of the USA which was located northwest of California. She burnt the limo and bought a silver 2015 Honda Accord. It only costed her 24,000 Goober Dollars.

She got a fake ID under the name Autumn Rose Rainbowlight IV and signed up to attend Alkela High School as a 10th grader. Now that the tables had turned, she was less likely to get in trouble with law enforcement. That was a close call.

None of the houses in the area were to her liking, so she had one built for the cheap price of 1,000,000 Goober Dollars. It greatly resembled Chuck E Cheeses, but it had two floors. The floors were separated by a large, colorful network of plastic tunnels.

Autumn climbed the multicolored stairs to the upstairs hallway. She went to her room, which had a hot tub and a rainbow zebra bed. Every corner had a large collection of stuffed animals.

She decided not to question how this house got built in three days.

Feeling sleepy, she crawled into her bed. She watched episodes of My Little Pony until she fell asleep.

The next day, she got on the bus to go to school. She layed in a hammock in the very back, going unnoticed by most teens. When the bus arrived, she got off with everyone else, blending poorly with the crowd due to her pink bunny suit. Nonetheless, no one really cared, so it wasn't an issue.

She received her block schedule from a teacher at the door.

Art- 10:00am-12:30pm

Lunch- 12:30pm-1:00pm

Science- 1:00pm-2:30pm

Math- 2:30pm-4:00pm

Gym- 4:00pm-5:50pm

It just now occurred to her how late in the day school begins here. Also, this schedule sucked a lot of ass. Where was Pokémon class? She specifically signed up for this. There was also a severe lack of classes that had to do with slacking off.

This was not the way of the lazy samurai. She knew she should have marked herself down as special needs. Maybe it was time to start a new life again.

No, no, no. She was going to tough this out for a day at least. Hours remained before she could cry herself to sleep, so she may as well carry on like a stone warrior.

First up, art class. The teacher in here was a hippie lady who was clearly drunk. She turned on a giant TV at the front of the room and played a spiral of flashing color the whole time. Her strategy seemed to work well, as many students, including Autumn, began to sketch in their notebooks without being asked to. Everyone in the room got a 100 for participation and those who sketched got extra credit and a bag of weed. Autumn stashed the weed in her magic purse.

The magic purse was an item Autumn carried at all times. It was fuchsia with purple and aquamarine waves. The inside was infinite, so it could hold whatever she could fit through the top.

Feeling very pleased with this class, she went to lunch. Today, they were serving Craft Mac and Cheese. She got a big bowl of it (The bowl was Hello Kitty themed) and wolfed it down.

Then, it was onward to science class. The teacher of this class was a real mad scientist. His hair was white and stuck up at all ends. He wore goggles with a glare that obscured his eyes and spoke with a wacko voice that was difficult to decipher.

"Alright, ya kidzies," he said. "We no want to blow shit up so youz needz to watch this video, kay? Dis some important info on not dying, kay?"

It was a one second video of a kid's head exploding.

"Dere, ya see?" the teacher asked. "Danger-usss."

The students exchanged confused looks. Autumn felt lucky to escape this class with her life.

Now it was on to math class. She took a seat at the back of the class cause she was a total bad girl. Plus she was afraid of who the next teacher would be.

Then Kodee walked in. No joke. This guy was the teacher. He was looking rather hot in his black tux. His brown hair flowed down to his shoulders and stuck out in certain places. He had sapphire blue eyes.

"You," he said, pointing to Autumn. "Front of the class, now."

"Yes, senpai," Autumn replied.

She took a seat at the center front seat. He placed his hand on her desk.

"Well, well, Ms. Rose," he said. "Looks like I'll be teaching you for the next 176 days. That is, if you can last that long."

"I may melt, senpai."

"That is likely. Or I may melt."

"Do me."

Kodee picked her up and brought her to his desk. They made out there for the next ten minutes while the other students watched. Something about desks made them perfect for this.

Kodee finished with her and brought her back to her desk. Ha, now she was the student with the teacher. The tables have turned once more.

He went on to teaching. Autumn already missed his lips. The sadness was clear in her expression.

Kodee was afraid Autumn would melt. He decided not to touch her for the time being.

Instead, he wrote a problem on the board.

"2x+8=y"

Autumn freaking hated these. How was she supposed to know what x was when the equation didn't even have a real answer? When and how would she even be faced with such an obscure looking thing in real life?

"You, Autumn," Kodee said.

"Don't make me answer this shit," Autumn replied.

"You have to."

"Sex is the answer."

"That's the answer to everything, just not in this scenario."

He had to be joking. There was no way he expected her to solve this.

But he did.

"Any time now, Ms. Rose," he said.

"Umm."

She thought for a while. A long while. He stood over her staring at her the whole time waiting for the answer.

"X is for and y is 16," Autumn said.

"See?" Kodee asked. "It wasn't that difficult."

"Yes it was," Autumn sobbed.

"There there," Kodee replied, patting her shoulder.

Then he removed his hand, worrying she would melt.

Autumn wondered why the melting thing was suddenly an issue.

Because it was.

Kodee walked back to the front of the room to give a lecture.

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears," he said. "I'm going to kidnap Autumn and do unspeakable things to her."

"No, I was going to do that to you," Autumn argued.

"Too bad," Kodee replied. "You should've said so sooner. Now I've called dibs on being the kidnapper."

"My house is so awesome, though."

"Mine's super soft."

Autumn agreed to go with him because of her softness fetish. Kodee carried on teaching.

Once class was over, Kodee took Autumn to his helicopter like in 50 shades. He brought her to his mansion, which was indeed soft. The walls, floor, and furniture were all very gentle to the touch.

They went to one of the large rooms and layed in bed together. They sniffed a soft, white and pink blanket that Kodee had on hand. Its aroma was divine.

"Are we going to make love?" Autumn asked.

"Not yet," Kodee replied.

He turned on _Barney: Imagination Island_. The song "Just imagine" started playing. Autumn didn't know how to react to this. His courting methods were eccentric, yes, but awkwardly effective.

After the movie was over, they finally did the thing. You know, the "thing." *Wink wink*

"Wow," Autumn said. "You must be magic."

"I am," Kodee replied.

They repeated the cycle, this time using the movie _Elmo in Grouchland_. Autumn's childhood was going to be ruined. They went through a third movie: _The Tigger Movie_ , while they ate a dinner consisting of curly fries and popcorn chicken. Kodee was a vegan, so the chicken was vegan chicken. Autumn wasn't quite sure how this worked, but she decided to go along with it.

After the third round of kinky magic, they fell asleep in each other's arms.

They woke up the next morning to birds chirping and went outside to Kodee's backyard. There was a soft, multilevel trampoline there. They filled it with stuffed animals and got to bouncing. Every time they hit the surface, the plushies went flying into the air. Wheee!

Kodee landed on top of Autumn and gave her a kiss.

"Are you ready for what's next?" Kodee asked.

"I don't know," Autumn replied. "Am I?"

"That depends on if you can handle the Rainbow Room of Fun."

Kodee blew his magical breath into Autumn's face and she passed out. The last thing she could smell was minty freshness.

Autumn was dragged through the soft abyss into Kodee's Rainbow Room. He used his mint breath once more to wake her up. The room was huge. The pink walls were lit by multicolored lights and colorful stuffed animals lined the walls. The bed was double king sized and topped off with pillows and blankets to form a fort. Autumn was inside of the fort.

"What is this?" she asked.

"The Rainbow Room," Kodee replied.

"Cool." Autumn said this because she couldn't think of anything better.

Kodee fed her a strawberry Laffy Taffy.

Then, they picked up pillows and had a pillow fight. They also did the sexx.

A thought occurred to her afterwards.

"Don't we have school today?" she asked.

"No, it's Saturday," Kodee replied.

Autumn cheered. No boring lectures.

They used this day to do more important things in life, like car surfing. Kodee got on a tall building and jumped off of it, landing on a sports car. Autumn got on top of an SUV. They leapt from car to car, racing each other to the end of the interstate. Then, they raced back, snagging lunch out of peoples' cars to eat along the way.

By the time they got back to Kodee's house, they were exhausted. A day well spent.

They were awoken at 2:00 in the morning to the sound of Kodee's alarm clock. It was playing the Six Flags theme song.

"What the H?" Autumn asked.

"That's our signal to rise and shine," Kodee replied.

"It's way to early. Are we going astral projecting?"

"No. Our spiritual awakening shall come from our lord and savior, Joshua. It's time to get ready for church."

"How could I be so stupid?"

Autumn smacked her head. Josh was like super important. She would have to worship extra hard this morning.

They got dressed in matching bunny outfits and flew to church on a magic carpet. When they arrived, people were rocking out to Joshuan songs. Autumn and Kodee sang along too.

Once the musical part of the ceremony was over, the pastor appeared on a giant TV screen. He was an anthromorphic fox with white fur and black patterns.

"Greetings, children of the universe," he said. "Josh smiles brightly onto you."

The pastor began to talk about how Josh was the creator of waffles and how he slayed the evil Lucifus Rex, driving all of the dinosaurs into extinction.

"Remember," the pastor said. "Dinosaurs are evil. I mean, have you seen Jurassic World? That poor lady got double Ko'd by two of those assholes. Peace out."

The church of Joshua was dismissed. It was a touching ceremony, but Autumn still thought dinosaurs were awesome. In fact, she wished they would come and eat her enemies.

Kodee took her on a date to Steak and Shake were they ate chicken, fries, and banana milkshakes. They went back to his room and watched _Lady and the Tramp_. Then, they slept into the next day.

It was Monday, which meant school. Kodee drove her there and parked in the spot marked with his name. They got out.

"I'll see you in math class," he said.

"I don't want to leave you," Autumn replied.

"We will meet again soon."

She started to cry. She didn't want her senpai to leave her. Kodee kissed her on the lips.

"Soon," he whispered.

He licked her cheek. She giggled.

The two departed. Autumn went to Art class and Kodee went to math to teach. Art went just as planned- the teacher put the flashing color spiral on the TV that bored people into sketching. Autumn drew a detailed picture of Kodee. She wrote beside it, "My senpai. My true love. Every moment apart is a moment wasted. Until we meet again."

She gave the picture to him in math class. He gave her macaroni art that he had made while his students were filling out worksheets.

Hen, the intercom came on.

"Please send Autumn Rose Rainbowlight III to the office," it said.

The intercom shut off.

"The III?" Kodee asked. "You told me you were Autumn Rose Rainbowlight IV."

Tears formed in Autumn's eyes. "That was my fake identity. They must know who I really am. You can't let me go up there alone."

"I'll come with you."

He kissed her. They walked to the office. A group of agents in black suits were standing around a buff man. All of them were members of Hydra.

"Autumn," the buff man said. "You're under arrest for being too damn sexy."

The agents grabbed Autumn's arms. Kodee jump kicked them in the face, grabbed a rifle, and whacked the suited man over the head with it.

He picked Autumn up and dashed outside into the teacher parking lot. Hundreds of agents stood in a line, blocking their way. A huge bazooka fired at a distance and blew all of the agents away at once, leaving a trail of fire.

A helicopter hovered over the two lovers. A ladder dropped down in front of them and someone told them to climb.

"Should we trust them?" Autumn asked.

"I can take them on if they decide to fight us," Kodee assured.

They climbed the ladder into the helicopter and close the door. The helicopter rose high into the sky and left the school behind.

Sitting in the passenger seats beside the windows were…Roxy Lalonde and Nepeta Lejion!

* * *

Author's Note: This is only the beginning. I already have over 50,000 words of this pretyped and ready to go. Brace yourself.


	2. LOA Welcomes Thee

"Foxy Lalonde?" Autumn asked. "And Nepeta?"

"We're part of the League of Awesome, or LOA for short," Roxy replied.

"Wow. I thought you were just a student."

"Nope. I was told by my group leader to watch you. I implanted a tracking device in your thigh while we were making out and followed you to Alskettistan. We want you to be a part of LOA."

"Awesome!"

"Awesome is right."

"I'll join, but only if Kodee can, too."

"Of course. He's smexy."

Autumn and Kodee sat between Roxy and Nepeta. Nepeta ran her paws through Kodee's hair.

":33 Your hair is so soft!" she exclaimed.

"Thank you," Kodee replied.

They flew to the Grand Canyon and lowered underground into LOA HQ. Roxy pulled out her walkie talkie.

"You are clear to land," she said.

The helicopter came to a rest on the landing pad.

"Who's flying this?" Autumn asked.

The pilot opened the door. It was none other than Vriska Serket.

"Oh my Josh," Autumn said.

Vriska pulled Autumn out of the copter and tossed her on the ground. Kodee jumped out behind her. He punched Vriska in the face and helped Autumn to her feet.

A trickle of cerulean blood ran from Vriska's lips.

"That's hot," Autumn said.

"I'll show you hot," Vriska replied. "Is that your new 8itch?" she asked, pointing to Kodee.

"No. He's way more special than that."

Roxy and Nepeta stepped out of the helicopter.

"Enough of this fightin," Roxy said. "Let's get to our leader."

They walked together to the secret room meant for their group. Terezi and Latula were sitting at the table.

"4t l4st, you got h3r," Latula said.

"Are you the leader?" Autumn asked.

"1 sure 4m."

Latula beckoned for everyone to take a seat. They totally obeyed.

"who's th1s d3l1c1ous boy?" Latula asked.

"Kodee," Kodee replied.

"TH1S T34M COULD US3 4 DUD3," Terezi said.

"4gr33d," Latula said. "so, would you two l1k3 to b3 p4rt of th3 L34gu3 of Aw3som3?"

"Sure," Autumn replied. "But I'm curious. What does this league do?"

"W3 f1ght 4g41nst 4ll 3v1l org4n1z4t1ons," Latula said. "1nclud1ng but not l1m1t3d to: hydr4, th3 1llum1n4t1, 4r34 51, th3 n4z1s, t34m rock3t, 4nd th3 KKK."

"Awesome!"

"Heh heh," Roxy laughed.

Now part of LOA, Autumn and Kodee were taken down a silver corridor to a bedroom. It had brown walls, cream floors, and a large TV. The DVD case was empty of any movies.

"Th1s 1s wh3r3 you'll sl33p," Latula said.

"Okay," Autumn replied. "Are we supposed to do anything right now?"

"1t's funny you should 4sk th4t. Y3s, you could jo1n me 1n 4 thr33som3."

"Okay!"

Latula leapt onto the soft cream bed.

"I don't know what we're supposed to do," Kodee whispered.

"Me either," Autumn replied.

She closed the door.

"C'mon, you two," Latula urged. She got on her knees. "Kodez, g3t b3h1nd m3. Autumn, your f1n3 4zz b3longz up front. th3r3 w3 go. th1s w1ll b3 l1k3 your tr41n1ng on how to follow th3 r4d l34d3r."

Kodee pulled Latula's black leggings down. Latula took off her jacket, black tank top, and bra. She was quite the sexy leader. Everyone else got undressed, too.

"l3t's g3t th1s p4rty st4rt3d!" Latula exclaimed.

Kodee took her from behind. Latula gave Autumn pleasure by licking her. Once it was done, Latula quickly changed back into her outfit.

"th4t w4s TOT4LLY r4d!" she exclaimed. "m33t m3 4t 7:00 4 d1nn3r. you w1ll n33d 2 s1gn 4 contr4ct b3for3 you c4n l34v3 th3 HQ."

She left the room, closing the door behind her.

"We still have a few hours left before then," Kodee said.

"Yeah," Autumn agreed. "How about using some time to do _me_ from behind?"

"Certainly. ;)"

More romantic games took place. Then, they flipped through the channels to find something good to watch. They discovered a "Dragon Tales" marathon and settled on that.

At 7:00, they were escorted to the dining room by Terezi. Everyone was sitting around the table, which was made of smooth, polished wood. The walls glowed orange.

"h3llo, hot stuffz," Latula greeted.

They took a seat across from her.

"th4t w4z qu1t3 th3 p3rform4nc3 you g4v3," she complimented.

"whaaa?" Roxy said. "u got into bed with da LEADER?"

"Yes, yes we did," Autumn replied with a smirk.

"geez, and only on the first day too. i remember vriska ova here had to like really work to finally get radtula."

"Stop that!" Vriska protested. "You're going to make me sound desper8."

Latula blushed teal. "4lr1ght, guyz. contr4ct t1m3."

Terezi placed the contract in front of Autumn and Kodee. They read over it.

"Rules of the League of Awesome (LOA)

1) You must not speak of LOA to anyone outside of LOA.

2) Being loyal to any organization outside of LOA, especially one that is evil, is defined as treachery and is punishable as the commanding officer sees fit.

3) Each member is to stick to their own team unless told otherwise.

-Autumn and Kodee will be on Latula's team

4) You are to report to LOA HQ whenever a mission is given unless directed otherwise."

Blah blah blah…a bunch of other rules no one really cares about or are so common sense that even a toddler could figure it out. There was also something Latula scribbled in about being her sex slaves, but that wasn't going to stop them from signing the contract.

Bam! The deed was done. They were bound to LOA by the authority vested in whoever was on the top rung of this orderly structure.

With that settled, everyone ate a meal consisting of gummy worms, Nesquik chocolate milk, and yellow rice. It was ever so delicious. Autumn had always wondered what the Homestuck trolls ate.

After that, Autumn and Kodee went to bed. They didn't actually need to sleep, but Autumn was a samurai in laziness, and Kodee respected her lifestyle enough to join with her in unconscious sleepitude.

The next day, Autumn and Kodee used their freedom to leave the HQ to uh…leave the HQ. They partied hard at Monkey Joe's, playing a wicked awesome game of Hide-and-Seek that resulted in an epic duel. They fought so hard that they were kicked out by the staff. They moved right on to another Monkey Joe's and kept on going.

Kodee landed an epic punch, sending Autumn flying into one of the inflatable forts. She hid in a sea of upward tubes that she still lacked the name for. A crew of kids led by a guy in a Monkey Joe costume came along and trampled her to the floor. She climbed a secret tunnel up to the slide. A small alcove hid her away from plain sight. There was no way Kodee would be able to spot her before she could make her move.

She waited and waited for him to show, but he seemed to be having some trouble getting here. She decided to come to him instead. She found him hiding at the top of the obstacle course. He jump tackled her from above, knocking her down swiftly.

"Hey, no fair, I was hiding from you!" Autumn protested.

"I know," Kodee replied. "Surprise!"

Autumn knew he was just asking for another fight. She tussled with him out of the maze, rolling down a slide and onto a safety mat. The match ended in a draw, and they decided that instead of continuing to bicker, they should go out for ice cream.

Yay! Ice cream!

Autumn got mint chocolate chip and Kodee got brownie. They went to the outside playground and swung on the swings while they licked away at their delicious treats. They had a splendid downhill view of Monkey Joe's and the baseball field. The land was very green and sky a perfect blue. Ah, the peace. The tranquility. It was so romantic.

Kodee and Autumn bumped their swings together, sharing a kiss. They licked one another's ice cream, taking in the flavor. They kept swinging for a while, enjoying the sights and the calm, quiet stir of the breeze.

"Where to now?" Autumn asked.

"Hmm," Kodee replied. "Let me think… How about Skate Country?"

"Okay!"

They went to Skate Country and glided across the floor for a few hours, playing arcade games and grabbing a bite to eat here and there. Kodee used his winning tickets to buy Autumn a rainbow stuffed snake.

"Thank you, Kodeekins" Autumn said.

"Anything for you, my dear," Kodee replied as he held Autumn in his strong arms. His hair blew in the breeze of the air conditioner.

Autumn wrapped the snake around her neck and continued to skate. Kodee also continued to skate. It was glorious. Autumn bought Kodee a silver, black and blue stuffed snake.

Then, they went to Stars and Strikes. Kodee was so much better at bowling than Autumn. He could lift the ball with only one hand and he didn't even need side railings. Autumn was super impressed. So impressed, in fact, that she promised him a BJ when they got home. And by home, she meant the HQ.

Speaking of HQ home, they decided their room needed a little sprucing up and went to the mall to buy some stuff. By now, it was dark outside. They bought a ton of pillows, blankets, and plushies, all of varying color. They also got some lava lamps.

After that, they went to the movie store, which was super huge and cool looking. The floors were polished wood and each DVD rack sat on a soft, light blue rug. Many of the movies they saw were ones they never heard of. They filled their hovercart with stacks upon stacks of movies they loved and moves they believed they would love.

They returned to the HQ with their brand new things, having spent over 10,000 Goober Dollars. They weren't even close to running out of money. In fact, they probably never would.

They set up the new stuff, replacing the bed sheets and pillow cases with something more colorful and pinning blankets to every corner of the room. They built a towering pillow and blanket fort for the stuffed animals and themselves and placed a lava lamp on every hard surface. The DVD case was almost completely full.

By the time they were done, it was 4:00 in the morning. They decided to be lazy samurais and sleep way into the next day- all the way to 10:00AM. That was six hours of sleep. Pretty pathetic, actually.

They were lucky enough to catch breakfast, which consisted of rainbow pancakes and pomegranate juice.

"YOU TWO W3R3 GON3 FOR 4 LONG T1M3," Terezi said.

"Yes," Autumn replied. "We were goofing off and decorating our room."

":33 Ooh," Nepeta said. "I wants to see!"

"You all can."

After breakfast, the team checked out Autumn and Kodee's totally rad room. Of course, Latula loved it. Pretty much everyone did, except for Vriska. That was okay, though, because Vriska was Autumn's kismesis, and maybe even Kodee's.

Once they had the room to themselves again, Autumn and Kodee decided it was movie time. They looked through the DVDs and decided "We're Back! A Dinosaur Story" would be the best to watch. They kicked back and watched it on their very soft bed, snuggling close and sniffing all of their sweet scented blankets. After it was over, they made out passionately.

Then, they watched "Spirited Away". It was time for lunch by now, so they left the HQ and went to McDonald's. They split a 20 piece McNugget meal, which was once again forever shall remain vegan chicken. And that goes for all chicken consumed in this story.

After that, they went to the play area. It had a ball pit that was huge and ran 15 feet deep. They dug to the bottom and made out.

"Kodee," Autumn said. "A thought just occurred to me."

"Yes?" Kodee asked.

"We were so caught up in the art of interior design yesterday that we completely forgot to go clothes shopping."

"You're right. We've been wearing the same thing for three days."

"Which are PJ's, at least."

"Indeed, but you made a good point. We should go back to the mall."

So it was that these valiant lovers returned to the mall. Autumn used to both love and hate the mall, but with Kodee around, she only loved it. There were carousels to ride, toy trains to take, and Build-a-Bears to build some bears in.

Autumn got a wide array of outfits, including fursuits, PJs, dresses, colorful t-shirts, leggings, bras, panties, and skirts. Kodee got mostly tank tops, t-shirts, fursuits, boxers, shorts, skirts, and leggings. They tried things on together in a large fitting room meant for handicap people.

"The best part of this is when we're not wearing clothes," Autumn said.

"Agreed," Kodee replied.

Kodee touched Autumn's boobs. *Poke poke cup cup*

"Okay, that's enough of that," Autumn said. "JK."

Kodee continued to touch. Autumn stoked Kodee's member. After those distractions, they got on with actually trying on the clothes. Then, Autumn gave that BJ she had promised but forgotten to give.

"You made up for it," Kodee said.

Autumn winked. Okay, so now they were done trying on clothes. They left the store, which was like the sixth one they'd been in that day and went to the movies. They saw "Inside Out", wolfing down popcorn and Mountain Dew without ever having to go to the bathroom. Then, they went to see "Jurassic World". Autumn had already seen it but she couldn't possibly surpass the opportunity to see it a second time on the big screen. Both movies kicked ass. It was a totally enjoyable viewing for both lovers.

They went back to their HQ room.

"Alright, BJ time," Kodee said.

"I already gave it to you," Autumn replied.

"You said it would be in the HQ."

"Okay, fine."

How could she say no to such a sexy man? She gave it to him even though he said that it counted before. At this point, he was just trying to use his masculine and feminine charms to suck out freebees. Or get sucked. Man, this is dirty. But the lovers are pure of heart, so it's a lot more innocent that way. So many contradictions.

Ah, yes. After that tantalizing incident, Latula showed up. Autumn had forgotten about the part of the contract that the sexy troll leader wrote in.

"I was just about to enter Autumn," Kodee said. "That is, from another part of her body. If you want me right now, you'll have to beat me in a pillow fight."

"Br1ng 1t on," Latula said. "l1k3 1'm gonn4 loos3 to som3 boy."

Latula fought hard, very hard indeed, but she lost to Kodee's supreme pillow action.

"1 w4s just go1ng 34sy on you," Latula said, and left the room.

Autumn knew that was false. Latula would never let someone beat her intentionally. She was wayyy too r4d for that.

"Way to go, Kodeekins!" Autumn cheered.

Kodee purred and kissed her on the cheek. Her sweet body was always the top priority. Once he was done with her, he left to fetch Latula. He went to her room, which was locked by a security code. She let him in.

Her room was super rad, of course. It had lots of Redglare stuff as well as gamer posters and just about ever console game and console device to be created. Beside the flat screen TV was a mini fridge, which Kodee made note of for his and Autumn's next shopping spree. He gave Latula what he wanted and took her on in some video games. This time, she had the upper hand in experience.

"woo, y34h!" Latula cheered. "th4t w4s tot3s sup3r fun. h1 f1v3!" She gave him a powerful, stinging high five. "1f you 3v3r w4nn4 t4k3 m3 on, 1'll b3 h3r3. th4t 1s, 1f w3'r3 not on 4 m1ss1on or som3th1ng 1mport4nt l1k3 th4t. oh, 4nd br1ng your g1rlfr13nd n3xt t1m3. 1 could us3 anoth3r g4m3r grl to tot4lly overt4k3!"

Kodee returned to his room.

"That was longer than expected," Autumn said.

"I was totally owned by her sick moves in gaming," Kodee said. "Looks like I could use some practice. And a mini fridge."

"Is this your way of asking if we could go back to the store?" Autumn asked.

"Yes, yes it is."

They decided to make this one quick, or rather, quick _er_ , by going to the Wal-Mart the next day. They bought an Xbox, a Playstation, a Wii, and all sorts of games. Then, they bought the fridge! It was blue with glowing blue stripes.

They took their stuff home and got down to gaming. They started with a classic, "Conker's Bad Fur Day." The took turns every time the other person died. Using their powers, they stayed up all night and into the next day, until they finally came out victorious.

"Enough playing around," Autumn said. "Wasn't it Super Smash Bros that you were playing with Latula?"

"Yes, and Mario Cart."

Terezi walked into the room.

"OH NO," she said. "4R3 YOU TRY1NG TO FIGUR3 OUT HOW TO B34T L4TUL4 4T V1D3OG4M3S?"

They nodded.

"1'M TH3 ONLY ON3 WHO'S 3V3R DON3 TH4T, 4ND 3V3N TH3N, SH3 R3FUS3S TO 4DM1T TH4T TO 4NYON3. YOU'LL N33D A W1TN3SS 1F YOU 3V3N W4NT YOUR V1CTORY TO COUNT."

"Wow, what a cheapo."

"1'LL S4Y."

Kodee and Autumn agreed to let Terezi join them. Like she said, Terezi was very good at videogames herself. She had all the moves and all the strategies- and she was freaking blind. She didn't even have to lick the screen to know where she was going.

After a day of hardcore training, they went to Latula's room.

"h3y you'r3 b4ck" Latula said. "4nd you 4lso brought my s1s."

"1'M NOT YOUR S1S, 1'M YOUR D4NC3STOR," Terezi argued.

They started out with a game of Mario Cart. It was 10 rounds, and Latula won 6 of them, coming out as the winner. Next up was Super Smash Bros. Autumn, Kodee, and Terezi teamed up to take on Latula. Latula was certain she could defeat them in a 3 on 1 death match, and it seemed to be going well. She defeated Autumn and Kodee, leaving only Terezi.

Terezi, mustering up every bit of mad skill she had left, fought Latula with all of her might with her character of choice, Lucario. Latula was using Gandalf. Terezi kept on mashing the Down+B combo, hoping for a miracle. Then, it came! Gandalf flew off the screen and disappeared in an explosion of sparkles and smoke.

"GAME!" the game said.

It showed Yoshi, Pikachu, and Lucario as the winners with Gandalf crying in the background.

"YOUR R31GN OF T3RROR 1S OV3R!" Terezi declared.

"my josh," Latula said. "1 c4n't b3l13v3 1t. 1 th1nk 1 n33d som3th1ng to dr1nk."

Latula cracked open a Monster and began to guzzle it down. Kodee, Autumn, and Terezi all exchanged a three-way high five.

"Let's go back to my room to celebrate," Autumn said.

They went back to her (and Kodee's) room to pig out on mini fridge food. They watched "Lord of The Rings" and then proceeded to make out. As a thanks for all the help, Autumn and Kodee pleasured Terezi.

"YOU GUYS AR3 M4G1C4L S3X GODS," Terezi praised.

"Thank you," Kodee replied.

"C4TCH YOU L4T3R."

She left. It was time for dinner at this point, but Autumn and Kodee had eaten so much that they didn't need anything else. They decided instead to take a bath in the team bathtub. It was made of cream-colored marble and sat in the middle of the room. It was so big that it looked like a swimming pool. They filled it with banana scented bubbles and hot water. Then, they got in.

They splashed water and swam around. Using cucumber soap and shampoo, they bathed every last inch of one another, becoming super fresh. They got out and wrapped themselves with soft, warm towels that they got from a special heating unit.

They went back to their room and watched "Rugrats in Paris" under the blankets, not bothering to get dressed. They decided just to stay naked and went to sleep that way.

The next day, they put some clothes on. Autumn put on a fuchsia shirt, black skirt, and black leggings. Kodee put on a black and blue tank top and shorts. They were looking super cool. Everyone at breakfast admired their looks.

Autumn and Kodee headed out to Six Flags to have some fun. It had been two long days of gaming and it was good to get out of the HQ. At sunset, they rode the Ferris wheel together, snuggling up and eating cotton candy.

"How sweet this is," Kodee said. "So serene and lovely. How glad I am that I have you."

"I'm glad, too," Autumn replied. "I love you."

They kissed passionately, the warm glow of the setting sun casting an orange light over them. Right after their lips parted, both of their phones started to ring. They picked them up.

"3m3rg3ncy!" Latula exclaimed. "r3port 2 th3 HQ, pronto!"


	3. Weirdos on a Mission

Autumn and Kodee put their phones away. Then, they jumped out of the Ferris wheel and flew to the HQ. Everyone was gathered in the meeting room.

"our s3cur1ty h4s b33n br34ch3d," Latula said. "my comm4nd1ng off1c3r b3l13v3s th4t th3r3 m4y b3 4n 3n3my b4s3 s3t up d33p3r 1nto th3 HQ."

":33 Our own territory, overtaken?" Nepeta asked.

"th4t could b3 th3 c4s3 1f w3 don't do som3th1ng qu1ck."

The team headed down a secret corridor that led towards the underground. It led into three branching paths.

"vr1sk4 and t3r3z1, follow s3ctor on3. 4utumn 4nd kod33, two. 1'll go w1th roxy and n3p3t4 through th3 th1rd."

They all split up. Autumn and Kodee headed down the center hallway, moving as quickly as they could. They came to a narrower corridor filled with doors. Each door led to an empty bedroom.

Going deeper, they found a LOA train and decided to take that deeper down. The inside was lit by bright white lights. No one else was there except for a dog reading a newspaper. They got off at the next stop, which was a wide open space. The end of the space, the far wall curved in. The top of the curve was lit and came out from the wall. They went here and took some glass doors into a shop.

The shop was bright white. There was a curved indigo table where people were sipping coffee and reading newspapers. Behind that, there were shelves full of over priced items. There was a checkout desk along the side they entered from.

"I didn't know our HQ had a shop," Kodee said.

Everyone turned and looked at them.

"We're just here to buy some sour gummy worms," Autumn added.

The peeps went back to what they were doing. Autumn went to the checkout counter and bought the gummy worms.

"Anything else?" the cashier asked.

Autumn shook her head. She went with Kodee over to the indigo table and shared the candy. At this point, she had no idea what she was doing. She had no training, except in the way of the lazy samurai and in pretend games. This was the real world.

Kodee seemed confused, too. He kept reaching down and grabbing Autumn's crotch. She shook her head disappointedly.

"I've gotta go outside for some air," Autumn said.

"Me too," Kodee replied.

They left the shop. Autumn pulled out her phone.

"Umm, Latula?" Autumn said.

"h3y, gurl," Latula replied. "d1d you f1nd som3th1ng?"

"Yes. There's a suspicious shop that might belong to the enemy. The candy there costs five dollars."

"gr34t joshu4n rh4psody!"

"I know right!"

"1'll g4th3r th3 troops."

Soon, the rest of Latula's team showed up. Indeed, the shop was not part of the HQ. At this point, the people there realized what was happening. They drew their guns. Latula pulled out a ray gun, Vriska got a sword, Terezi got her cane, Nepeta unsheathed her claws, and Roxy got her machine gun. Autumn and Kodee used their good looks to distract their enemies while the others unleashed a furious flow of attacks, swiftly turning the white shop into a red one.

Then, Latula's team ran to the back of the shop and went through the back door. It led to the HQ of their enemy, Hydra. The rest of Hydra scurried down a hallway and got aboard a giant plane that was armed with missiles.

"qu1ck!" Latula ordered. "b4ck to our pl4c3!"

They took the train up to the main part of the HQ, where they were given access to a giant plane. Vriska took the pilot's seat and flew them into the air. The last of Hydra's plane was disappearing into the sunset, but LOA wasn't ready to quit yet. They flew after them, giving chase through the dying sunlight.

The pursuit went on for an hour, but they couldn't catch up. Eventually, they decided to land outside of a diner. Vriska used a cloaking device to hide the plane.

"I guess you could say it's out of plane sight," Autumn said.

Vriska slapped her.

The team went inside and sat at a large booth. They ordered a giant basket of curly fries. Roxy got wine and everyone else got soda.

As they ate, they faced the stage to watch a performance. A turquoise anthromorphic bird with multicolored wings was singing a goofy song.

"Man, this sucks," Vriska said.

":(( You said it, Vriskers," Nepeta replied.

The team moped over their failed attempt to catch Hydra while the performer continued to ruin the mood.

"We mustn't give up," Kodee encouraged. "If we try hard enough, I know we can catch them."

"th4t's th3 sp1r1t!" Latula said, pulling him into a tight hug. "w3'v3 gott4 st4y strong. who's r4d? 1 am! 4nd 4s long 4s you h4v3 m3, w3'r3 gu4r4nt33d to w1n."

"well sed," Roxy said. "totes wit ya." *hic*

Clearly, this young lady was drunk. This showed even more when she tried to get on stage and sing with the bird. The bird would have none of it. Roxy was kindly told to return to her seat, and she did so with little protest.

After the meal, Latula's team left and went to a hotel. They got a room together with two king sized bunk beds.

"D1BS ON TOP BUNK!" Terezi shouted.

She leapt onto the top of the right bunk. Vriska got up there with her. Autumn and Kodee got the top bunk on the left. Of course, since Latula was leader, she was able to take it from them. They moved to the bed below. On the bright side, they had a perfect view of the city from out the window. Nepeta and Roxy got the remaining bunk.

"nice kitty," Roxy said as she cuddled Nepeta.

Latula turned off the lights. Autumn wondered if it was lonely up there, just her and her leaderly self. Being the one in charge meant Latula had to be strong for everyone. It separated her from the rest.

 _Ah, whatevs_ , Autumn thought. _Kodee and I called that bunk first._

She drifted off to sleep. Even though there were seven of them in a room together, they were able to get a good amount of rest. The only distraction was maybe Nepeta's tail slapping Roxy's face in the middle of the night, but that was it.

The next morning, Vriska woke everyone up by strumming the chords of her electric guitar. Her teammates cursed her out with a series of choice words, and then they all took a moment to calm down. Autumn wanted so badly to punch Vriska.

She decided to go ahead and punch her. They fell to the floor and rolled around wrestling, leaving scratches on one another. Vriska pulled Autumn in for a kiss and got up, leaving Autumn on the floor.

Kodee helped Autumn up.

The team got on the plane and took off, ready for a day of tracking down Hydra. The passenger side had white walls, grey carpeting, and silver seats. The seats lined one side of the wall to face the windows.

Vriska drove the plane onward in the direction that Hydra had gone. Latula talked on the phone with her supervisor to discuss what they might need to do next.

":33 Hey, guys," Nepeta said. "Look what I have."

She held up a deck of Uno cards. Ah, yes. The game that held the power to break up marriages, tarnish friendships, and tear apart families. Of course everyone agreed to play it.

Things got ugly fast.

"YOUR TURN W4S SK1PP3D!" Terezi shouted.

"HELL to da NO!" Roxy protested.

Intensity intensified. At last, there was a victor- Autumn Rose Rainbowlight III. She had finally won something. WOO HOO!

But then it turned out that she actually had two cards instead of one. Kodee became the winner instead.

"Eff you," Autumn said.

She gave him a completely uncalled for slap on the ass. Then again, when were her actions ever called for?

Kodee slapped her back. They went back in forth, slapping one another until their buttocks could take no more. Terezi, Nepeta, and Roxy had watched in awe.

"aww sweet joshua," Roxy said. "gimmie some of dat action"

Autumn and Kodee slapped her simultaneously, each person claiming a butt cheek. Roxy laughed.

"lol thx," she said, laughing some more.

Latula turned around for a moment to see what everyone was up to and then went back to talking on the phone. They were like, so immature.

"Hey guyz, I've got a game we can all play," Autumn said. "Simon Says."

"bitch im da queen of simon sez," Roxy said.

"Bring it on, then. You be Simon."

She stood in front of the window. Everyone lined up across from her. Kodee was doing the Macarena for some reason.

" _Ay, Macarena!_ " Kodee sang.

"knock it off," Roxy said.

Kodee stopped dancing.

Roxy started off the game. She began with "make an L on your forehead." It was a smooth move to start off with no "Simon Says". No one fell for it, but it would've been hilarious if someone did.

"alright. simon says spin around"

They spun.

"simon says spin on one foot"

This was getting hard.

"lean to the right"

Nepeta leaned to the right, knocking over Terezi. Autumn and Kodee were the only ones left.

"do the macarena"

Kodee did the Macarena. Then, he stopped dancing and smacked his forehead. "Hey, no fair."

Autumn gave Roxy a high five. They went to the seat and made out, Roxy on top of Autumn. As Kodee stood watching, he was joined on either side with one of the remaining ladies. Nepeta was purring and Terezi licked her lips.

"h3y guyz," Latula said. "th3r3's b33n 4 ch4ng3 of pl4ns. hydr4 w4s tr4ck3d go1ng to t3nn1s s34. w3'r3 gonn4 h4v 2 m4k3 4 turn4round. 1've 4lr34dy g1v3n th3 coord1n4t3s to vr1sk4."

The plane made a sudden 90 degree turn, sending everyone falling across the floor. Once the plane was turned, everyone got up.

"That was rachet," Autumn said. "I'm going to need to have a talk with our friend Vriska up there. Well, friend to most, kismesis to me."

She winked.

"Vriska's not around," Kodee said.

"I knew that. The wink was purely for show."

She winked again. They went towards Tennis Sea, which used to be just Tennessee before it was flooded with tennis balls as part of a senior prank gone too far.

At sunset, they landed by a hotel and stayed there for the night, dining on chicken and gummies. The next day, they continued on their quest until they finally reached Tennis Sea.

Hydra's plane was parked on a mound of tennis balls. Latula got out a racket and hit one of the balls through a window of the plane. She handed a gun to Autumn and Kodee. Autumn's gun was dark fuchsia with hot pink patterns and Kodee's was blue with light blue streaks.

A crew of Hydra soldiers stepped out of the plane. Autumn used her Tennis Bending powers to stir up a wave of tennis balls, knocking the soldiers in the face. Latula's team charged at them, wiping them out with ease. They went inside of the plane, where agents in black suits waited with guns. Autumn fired her gun like mad, killing agent after agent.

Then, as she skirted down a hallway alone, Kodee came and pushed her into a closet. He leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Hail hydra."

Autumn gasped.

"Just kidding!"

Autumn rolled her eyes. They came out of the closet and continued to take down Hydra's forces. They destroyed a bunch of files and electronic equipment that was lying around. Autumn accidentally activated a bomb, so they high tailed it out of there. The rest of Latula's team made it out safely.

A lone Hydra survivor came flying out of the explosion. He knocked Autumn across the sea of tennis balls. As she was getting up, he punched her in the face. She aimed her gun and pulled the trigger, but she was out of bullets. Before the agent could punch her once more, Kodee grabbed his arm. He had transformed into a dragon.

"H33H33H33" Terezi drooled, licking her lips.

Kodee crushed the armor on the agent's arm. Then, lifted the agent into the air, flapping his silver blue wings. He spun around the air and threw the agent down with a Seismic Toss attack, sending up an explosion of tennis balls. Kodee quickly flew to Autumn to shield her from the oncoming debris.

The LOA agents cheered. Kodee turned back into a human and then everyone hugged.

"We did it!" Autumn cheered.

She gave Kodee a kiss on the lips.

After having some fun playing with tennis balls, they got back in the plane and returned to the HQ. Autumn and Kodee snuggled up in their bed and fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next day, everything was back to normal. Maintenance workers had cleaned up all of the blood and Latula's team stopped by the infirmary to heal all scratches.

At lunch, everyone was present. They ate goldfish crackers and brownies with milk.

":33 That adventure sure was fun," Nepeta said. "I'd love fur us to go on another."

"Me too," Autumn agreed.

"Me six," Kodee said.

"Yeah, sure, six," Vriska replied. "Gotta admit, it was a 8last."

"1f 3v3ryon3 w4nts, w3 c4n go on 4noth3r adv3ntur3," Latula said.

"Y34H!" Terezi cheered.

"totes," Roxy agreed.

"4lright, th3n. 1'll g3t pl4ns tog3th3r 4 our n3xt journ3y."

The team cheered.

After lunch, Autumn and Kodee returned to their room. They were excited for another journey through the great vast world.

They clapped and ran around in circles through the room. The "Friends" theme song began to play in the background. They held hands and spun around in circles.

"I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU!

CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME, TOO!" 3 3 3

They bounced around, played leap frog, and knocked down pillow forts, sending softness flying through the air. All of this silly tomfoolery made them roll to the floor laughing.

Then, the door flew open.

"H3Y, YOU," Terezi said, pointing at Kodee. "1 W4NT YOU TO TURN 1NTO 4 DR4GON 4ND DO M3!"

"Okay," Kodee replied.

Kodee turned into his silver-blue dragony self. Terezi got undressed and laid on the bed. Autumn did the same and got beside Terezi. Terezi looked at her.

"Switch back and forth," Autumn instructed.

Kodee shrugged and did them both at the same time, taking turns between the two females. Afterwards, everyone was panting. Kodee turned back into a human.

"1 FR34K1NG LOV3 DR4GONS!" Terezi exclaimed.

"I could tell," Kodee replied.

Autumn and Terezi made out. Then, everyone got dressed. Terezi skipped out of the room.

The day was young. Many adventures lied ahead. What shall our heroes do?

Kodee and Autumn: Rebuild pillow fort

They proceeded to rebuild the pillow fort that they had knocked down earlier, this time with more strongholds. It was big enough for them to climb inside and make out, so that is what they did.

Afterwards, they left the HQ and went to a candy shop. The shop was actually a giant gingerbread house. They bought Reece's, Kit Kats, Milky Ways, Candy Corn, Gummy Worms (not made from the bones of actual animals), and truffles. They gobbled up everything with the exception of some candy corn, which they thought would be cute to share with the trolls because they had horns that resembled candy corn. The sugar seemed to hype them up, even though they knew that sugar rushes were only fables read in bedtime stories.

In fact, they got so hyped up that they zoomed down the road faster than any vehicle. They went to Chuck E Cheese and became ticket masters, effectively rubbing their winnings in the faces of children, some of whom were orphans. They used their combined earnings to purchase the most expensive prize: a giant teddy bear with turquoise and pink fur.

That bear was like a son to them, from the moment they looked into its lifeless black eyes. They took it through the weird plastic tunnels of doom and slid into the ball pit of my Josh. Then, they left the bear to go make out at the bottom of the ball pit. It was glorious.

"Your lips are like magic," Autumn said.

"Purr, purr, my lover warrior," Kodee replied.

Kodee stuck his hand into Autumn's panties. Chuck E Cheese's. Where a kid can be a kid.

Okay, enough of that, almost. Just a little more. Alright, so after he grabbed her boobs for like the 800th time in this narrative, they got out of the ball pit and reunited with the bear, which they decided to name BlueBeary. My Josh, what a shitty name.

They left Chuck E Cheese's and visited the word's biggest ball of yarn. It was super colorful and super big. The inside of it was like a huge maze.

Then, they went home. Their reign of parenthood was over and the bear was now just a bear. A bear with a name that would attract bullies from miles away.

They put the bear inside of a plastic rainbow cage that hung from the ceiling (Latula must have added it earlier for weird sex games) and named the cage Nicolas Cage.

BlueBeary. Nicolas Cage. The quality of these names had zero continuity.

It turns out that BlueBeary loved his name and so did Kodee, so I will cease my unholy banter over it.

Kodee and Autumn went to the dining room to eat dinner with their team. Everyone was present.

"4lright, guys," Latula said. "1 book3d 4 v4c4t1on 4 us 4t th3 b34ch. w3 l34v3 tomorrow 4t d4wn."

Everyone cheered. They ate a meal of chicken and curly fries, along with a side of candy corn, courtesy of Kodee and Autumn. Then, Kodee and Autumn went to bed and slept like the lazy samurais they were.


	4. Autumn Loses Her Marbles

WARNING: The sexual content in this chapter is through the roof!

* * *

The next day, everyone gathered their stuff into a magical flying van and drove to California. They checked into a hotel right along the beach. Roxy and Nepeta shared a room, Vriska and Terezi shared a room, Autumn and Kodee shared a room (duh), and Latula got a room all to herself.

After unpacking their belongings, they took a dark blue hallway lit by azure lights that led them right to the beach. Autumn was wearing a magenta bunny bikini, Kodee was wearing a zebra Speedo (no shame), Nepeta was wearing a black and olive kitty bikini, Roxy was wearing a white and pink kitty bikini, Vriska was wearing a dark blue bikini, Terezi was wearing a black bikini with her zodiac, and Latula was wearing a teal and red bikini with her zodiac. So much sexiness all up in here.

Everyone on the beach turned to look as Latula's team as they strutted their stuff down to the shore. They set up umbrellas and shit and then got down to swimming.

Gotta have that beach episode.

The group splashed and played under the summer sun. For once, Latula and Terezi actually had use for their sunglasses. Actually, for Terezi, she was already blinded by the sun years ago, so it was kind of too late for that. Whatevs. Girl could see with her nose practically.

The Friends theme song began to play again. Autumn wondered if it was the souls of the cast haunting them by day. It was highly plausible. You didn't have to be a ghost to haunt someone. You just needed to know how to astral project.

Anyway…

 _I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU_

 _WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO POUR_

 _I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU_

 _LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE_

 _I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU_

 _CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME, TOO_

They had fun until sunset. Then, they walked to the pier and got ice cream. As they ate, they gazed at the sky.

Then, they went to a bar. They drank alcoholic beverages that tasted like root bear floats. The beverages also contained soda, so they had an effect on the trolls as well.

Everyone was drunk, so they decided to go back to their hotel rooms. Autumn and Kodee collapsed on a bed with the door closed and burst into a series of gigglefits.

"I feel like doing something…naughty," Autumn said.

"Naughtier than usual?" Kodee asked, surprise clear in his voice.

Autumn nodded.

"Like what?"

"Getting my kismesis." Autumn snickered.

Kodee giggled and rubbed his hands together.

It was time to do some Vriskanapping. They set up the bed, arranging the pillows to prop up anyone who was unfortunate enough to lay there. They bought some rope from the hotel lobby and brought it back to the room. Then, they found Vriska walking down the hall towards her room.

Together, they pounced on her, knocking her to the floor. They carried her off to their room and threw her on the bed, the door closed behind them. Autumn made out with Vriska, removing her clothes in the process. The spider8itch seemed to be enjoying herself, but not for long.

Autumn laughed evilly and said to Kodee, "Alright."

She continued to make out with Vriska while Kodee tied her to the bed. Once she was trapped, Autumn backed away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Vriska asked.

"Torture," Autumn replied, raising her fists and laughing maniacally.

Vriska yanked on the ropes, but alas, she was trapped. Autumn and Kodee got undressed. Vriska braced herself, but they weren't going for her. Instead, they got on a large cushion in front of her and began to make love very sexily. Vriska had to watch. It was difficult to watch something like that and not be a part of it. The torture was working.

What they didn't expect was for Terezi to walk into the room. She was wearing nothing but her redglare glasses and…a strap on?

"TH3R3 YOU 4R3," Terezi said to Vriska.

Autumn laughed at the thought that Terezi must have been wondering the halls like this trying to find her.

"Terezi, help me," Vriska begged.

"H33H33," Terezi giggled, enjoying the sight of her girlfriend tied up.

Yeah, they were dating and stuff. The more you know! *Rainbow*

At first, it looked like Terezi was going to put Vriska out of her misery, but nope. She pushed Kodee aside and took Autumn from behind. Evil laughter commenced. Autumn did a fist pump. Even with the strap on, Kodee was able to get inside Terezi. Now, it was three against one, with one being a very lonely number to be right now.

"Enough!" Vriska shouted. "One of you needs to do me, now!"

After the three were done friendgasaming, Kodee and Terezi went across the room for just the two of them to do the sex.

Autumn climbed on top of Vriska and rubbed slowly against her. Vriska winced from the softness of her touch.

Then, Kodee and Terezi finished and walked over to them. Terezi took Autumn again while she was still on Vriska and Kodee made Vriska suck him. Geez, this is detailed and naughty. Meooow. Nobody but Kodee and I better be reading this, ever.

Cerulean tears were flowing down Vriska's face. Autumn figured she had been tortured enough. She and Terezi backed away. Autumn gave Kodee the go ahead and he finally entered her from below. He did her hard. She was finally able to get some relief, even if it was painful. It was a good kind of pain.

Autumn and Terezi laughed at the scene before them. Kodee was having tons of fun. At last, the deed was done. The…kismesgasm? Yeah, sure, we'll go with that.

Kodee backed away from her and Autumn returned, bending in for a kiss with the trapped victim.

"You're going to pay for this," Vriska growled.

Autumn winked. She dug two fingers inside of her. Now her fingers were covered in cerulean.

Terezi untied Vriska and took her back to their room. Autumn and Kodee laid on their bed together. They did a high five.

"Good boy," Autumn said, rubbing Kodee's hair with her clean hand.

Kodee insisted she used her other hand, so she did so.

"That's Vriska's, uh, nevermind," Autumn said, realizing that that's what he wanted.

"I really enjoyed this," Kodee said. "We should kidnap more people."

Autumn giggled.

At last they knew someone more evil than Vriska: each other. And by evil, I don't mean Hydra evil, because that would get them kicked out of LOA. They were tired from all of that brutality, so they fell asleep naked in each other's arms.

Meanwhile…

Terezi and Vriska were lying in their own bed side by side. They were wearing absolutely nothing.

"I'm coming for you, too, Pyrope," Vriska warned.

Terezi giggled. "H4, 'CUM'."

"You know what I mean!"

"WH4T D1D 1 DO?"

"You took part in the torture. All torturers must pay! All of them, Terezi!"

Terezi rolled her eyes, which were red thanks to Vriska's past acts of revenge. She didn't really give a shit. Vriska could do whatever she wanted. If anything, she was still the one with more to loose, miss two arms and two eyes thanks to the God Tier upgrade. Not that Terezi was jealous of Vriska's sight; blindness was a part of her now.

"HOW 4BOUT W3 FORG3T 4BOUT R3V3NG3 FOR 4 MOM3NT 4ND M4K3 OUT?" Terezi suggested.

"Ugg, fine," Vriska replied.

She rolled onto Terezi and they proceeded to make out.

Back to our main homies…

It was morning. Kodee and Autumn woke up and changed right into their swimsuits. They went to the dining area and ate chocolate chip waffles with whipped cream.

Then, it was beach time. The team gathered there. As they were building sandcastles, they were met by Aranea's team, consisting of Karkat, Equius, Horuss, and Meulin.

":33 Meowlin!" Nepeta cheered.

"(=^•^=) NEPETA!" Meulin cheered.

The two dancestors hugged. As they were doing so, Nepeta noticed Karkat.

";33 H33ey, Karkat," Nepeta said.

"H333Y, K4RK4T," Terezi echoed.

"Heeeey, Karkat," Autumn and Kodee both said at once.

Karkat's eyes widened and he backed away slowly. Nepeta, Terezi, Autumn, and Kodee all pounced on him.

"Aww yeah, more homies to annoy!" Autumn cheered.

They got off of Karkat. Autumn looked over the rest of Aranea's team. Here we had the Meowrails- two Meowrails since Nepeta and Equius were expected to mingle. There was also the older Serket, who Autumn hated due to [S] GAME OVER. Another target for kidnapping, sure, but also a dangerous one, given that she was a team leader.

The teams hung out and played on the beach. Then, when night fell upon the world, they went to a fancy restaurant to eat. The floor was covered in red carpeting and chandeliers hung from the ceiling.

The two Meowrails sat at one booth; Latula, Aranea, Terezi, and Vriska sat at another; and Autumn, Kodee, Karkat, and Roxy sat at another.

"dawg, will you get a look at that mewlin gurl?" Roxy asked. "shes totes hot"

On another edition of The More You Know, we learn that Roxy and Nepeta are dating. Only makes sense that Roxy would be attracted to someone who looked like her girlfriend.

"Yes, lovely," Autumn agreed. "Then there's the Zahacks, who are like super strong." She cupped her hands together and gazed off into space.

"Those indigo bloods could break you," Kodee warned.

"I know, but it's a risk I'd be willing to take."

"autumn, da gurl of steel," Roxy said.

Autumn flexed her muscles. She winked at Roxy.

"THIS IS THE WEIRDEST DATE I'VE EVER BEEN ON," Karkat said. "ACTUALLY, NO, SCRATCH THAT."

"Why don't you tell us about the true weirdest date?"

"WELL, IT INVOLVED NEPETA, TEREZI, AND DAVE, ALL ROLLED INTO ONE. IT WAS A HUGE CLUSTERFUCK OF FUCKING."

Autumn laughed. "That sounds like fun."

"YEAH, I'LL GIVE POINTS FOR THAT."

Kodee winked at Karkat. Karkat blushed candy red.

The waiter ran by the table.

"WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO FUCKING ORDER?!" the waiter shouted.

"MY JOSH, YOU'RE LOUD," Karkat said.

"THANK YOU!" the waiter replied. "I HAVE THE MOST AWKWARD BONER! ANYWAY, WHAT WILL IT BE, FELLAS?! CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOME MAGIC RICE?!"

"YES!" Autumn shouted.

The waiter took off. Autumn's head was spinning from all of the shouting. She thought about how with more arrivals, there were more people to screw. However, she hadn't even gotten around to everyone on her own team yet. So many choices. So very many.

Once dinner was over, Autumn, Kodee, and Karkat went back to Autumn and Kodee's room together while Roxy seeked out Meulin. The magic rice had turned everybody on. Autumn got on the bed naked while Kodee and Karkat Eifel towered her. She was the Sex Goddess. Determination and a strange new power flowed through her. She would do everyone she wanted, and there was no stopping her, not even exhaustion. She had way too much energy to become exhausted.

Kodee and Karkat came into her multiple times. It was glorious. Autumn's rising sex aura caused the boys to pass out. It was time to rampage the hotel and take out every last one of LOA's members.

Meanwhile…

Equius was umm…watching his Meowrail go at it with Horuss. He had already had his fun, and now he was kicking back with a bucket of popcorn.

Vriska entered the room.

"Equiusss," Vriska hissed.

"D - - What?" Equius asked.

"I need you for something. It involves revenge."

"D - - I don't have time for your revenge shenanigans."

"Not even if it involves sex?"

He was listening now. This was bound to get interesting.

Meanwhile again…

It seems the plot has devolved into pornography. This is the level I have stooped to. A sex hungry mission among crazed secret agents, most of which aren't even human. GLORIOUS.

Well, now that the obvious has been confirmed, we move back to the Sex Goddess, Autumn Rose Rainbowlight III. An ancient power had been unlocked within her, causing her to have a ridiculous amount of sexual vigor. She would need to have a talk with the chef that prepared the magic rice. Certainly, that was the cause of all of this. He deserved 1,000 Goober Dollars. And maybe sex. Depended on who he was.

She found Meulin and Roxy in Roxy's room. They were meowing and 69ing and stuff. Autumn purred at the sight of them and pounced onto the bed.

"(=`ω´=) NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US," Meulin said.

"*wonk*" Roxy added.

Autumn yanked on Meulin's tail, causing her to meow. Roxy slapped her on the butt. Autumn grew a pale pink tail and pale pink kitty ears.

"whoa," Roxy said.

";3 Meow!" Autumn cheered.

She dug two fingers inside of each of the girls. They did the same with her. They meowed and yiffed until Roxy and Meulin passed out. Autumn giggled at her prowess and became purer human once more while still hanging on to her Goddess Powers. Her eyes glowed pink.

Autumn was so sexually overpowered that there was a chance she would wind up killing everyone. How splendid it was to be here on such a glorious day. At last, her strength had risen to astounding levels.

Now, what would she do next?

Autumn: Make a checklist of remaining victims

She went to her room, where Kodee and Karkat were still passed out on the floor. She got out a clipboard and paper and began to jot down names in pink pen.

 **Kodee** ✓

 **Karkat** ✓

 **Meulin** ✓

 **Roxy** ✓

 **Nepeta**

 **Equius**

 **Horuss**

 **Aranea**

 **Vriska**

 **Latula**

 **Terezi**

She left everyone who wasn't currently passed out unchecked, even if she had done them on previous nights. She wondered if she should go down the list or choose randomly. Using her superior intelligence, she was able to determine that the magic rice had probably affected everyone, just not on the level that it had affected her. She thought about its fluffy yellow texture and drooled.

Focus Autumn, focus.

After a few moments of thought, she decided to start easier and make her way up, with Vriska being the final boss. This was going to be one hell of a night. To think that she had she had only just begun. More drooling commenced. She stopped herself out of fear that she might transform into a dog. A sexy dog, yes, but also borderline bestiality.

She figured Terezi would likely be an easy target. As she headed down the halls, someone grabbed her from behind and slapped her on the ass. Latula freaking Pyrope.

Autumn wouldn't miss an opportunity like this. She whirled around and kissed Latula, causing her to blush teal. Latula took Autumn to her room and tossed her on the bed. They made out passionately on it. Then, Autumn removed Latula's clothes. Autumn was already naked, so yeah… They got into the 69 position and dug in. After ten minutes of roughness, Latula passed out.

Autumn got up and did a fist pump. "Yesss."

She decided that instead of tracking down individuals, she'd go after whoever she found.

Nepeta was in her room licking herself clean.

":33 Hi, Autumn," Nepeta greeted.

"Heyyy," Autumn replied, putting her hand on her thigh and winking.

";33 ;33"

Autumn climbed into bed. Such a sweet kitty. She wrapped her arms around Nepeta, causing her to purr. They made out and went on to make love.

As expected, Nepeta passed out. Autumn clapped her hands with glee.

Horuss had been spying on them from the closet after having finished up with Nepeta. When he exited, he was completely naked, letting Autumn know that him and Nepeta must have been previously going at it. Nepeta must be stronger than Autumn thought to have endured a lovefest with an indigo blood.

"8 = D Hello," Horuss said. "Who are you, str*nge girl?"

"I am the Sex Goddess," Autumn replied.

"8 = D Oh my. I'd love to horse around with you."

"Go ahead, my stallion."

Horuss changed into his horse suit. He bent her over and mounted her from behind. He was gentle at first, but she didn't seem fazed by his natural strongness. He went harder and harder until he horsegasmed many times, passing out in the process.

I will never run out of ways to play with the word "orgasm".

Autumn stood up and brushed herself off. Another job well done. She had a few bruises from that one, but nothing the energy of the universe couldn't fix.

She stood on top of him and raised her fist in the air, bringing it back down into a fist pump.

She left the room and wandered the halls, searching for more prey. She was growing even more powerful. Using her enhanced vision, she looked through all of the closed doors. She sensed Aranea behind one of them, and faded through the door and into the room.

Aranea was sleeping peacefully in her bed. How to go about doing this?

Autumn snatched the covers off of Aranea. "Good morning, star shine. The earth says hello!"

Aranea jolted awake and looked at Autumn. Keep in mind that the room was dark, and all Aranea could see was Autumn's dim pink glow and her bright pink eyes. Super sexy creepy.

"Aaaaaaaah!" Aranea shrieked.

"It's just me, darling. ;3"

Autumn floated down beside Aranea and pulled her into a kiss. Aranea was so blown away by how amazing of a kiss it was that she didn't care that her privacy had just been invaded. Kissy kissy kissing sounds. Ever so gentle touch.

Autumn slammed her down on the bed and pulled off her clothes. She continued to kiss Aranea and proceeded to jam two fingers inside of her, causing her to moan. She thrusted the fingers in and out. Then, she added a third. She rubbed hard against Aranea, getting pleasure for herself. Meoooooooow.

Finally, Aranea passed out. Another check on the list of names. There were only three people left to do: Equius, Vriska, and Terezi. Autumn rubbed her hands together with excitement.

She entered the hall and went back on the prowl. She found Vriska leaning against the door of her room.

"Hey there, gorgeous," Autumn said.

"Heeeeeeeey," Vriska replied. "Ready for the wrath of my revenge?"

Autumn nodded happily.

Vriska flipped her hair. "Alright, Equius."

She backed up and Equius exited the room. He looked at Autumn.

"D - - Oh my," he said. "You didn't say she was going to be like this."

"That shouldn't 8e a pro8lem for you."

Autumn was hovering in the air, her body glowing brighter. Equius began to sweat. Autumn used her powers to conjure up a towel and rubbed it on his face.

"There, there," Autumn soothed.

Equius pulled off his clothes and knocked Autumn to the floor. Autumn cheered. Equius inserted his erection inside of her and began to slowly thrust.

"What are you doing?!" Vriska questioned. "8r8k her!"

Equius began to sweat again. Autumn wagged her eyebrows challengingly. He began to get super rough with her super fast. Vriska cheered him on.

"Yes, Equius, yes! Destroy her!"

Autumn moaned with glee.

Terezi walked up from behind Vriska. "LOOKS L1K3 YOUR R3V3NG3 1SN'T GO1NG QU1T3 4S PL4NN3D," she said.

"Just give it a moment."

"SH3 S33MS TO B3 3NJOY1NG 1T," Terezi argued, admiration showing on her face.

Vriska groaned. She looked to Equius. "Alright, change of plans! Go after Terezi!"

Terezi put her hands over her mouth. Equius tried to pull out, but Autumn grabbed on at him and held him in a lock. He indigasmed and passed out on the floor.

"Noooooooo!" Vriska objected.

She took off running down the hall. Autumn took Terezi's hand and led her into the room.

"YOU'R3 BL33D1NG," Terezi said.

Autumn shrugged. "Nothing a little universe energy can't fix."

The candy red blood was becoming too much for Terezi. It was so appetizing to the senses. They made out passionately on the bed. Ah, how great it was to have gotten the girl. Dragon meooow.

Terezi passed out after some vigorous love making, her eyes still opened wide with joy. Autumn closed them with her hand.

"Sleep well, seer of mind," Autumn whispered.

She left the room. Only one victim remained: the final boss. There was no Kodee this time to help her, but at least she had her powers. Vriska was just below the Zahacks on the hemospectrum, making her a strong opponent. And she wouldn't start off easy. Autumn knew that for sure.

Like a stone warrior, she carried on through the hotel building. Her body was dripping with blood and love juice. She met Vriska on the roof of the hotel. She was lying on a large, cerulean bed with candles all around. She was wearing a Mindfang outfit.

"I've 8een waiting," Vriska said.

"So have I," Autumn replied.

Autumn crouched to the ground and pounced at the bed. Vriska drew her sword and drove it threw Autumn's body. The glow began to die down. There was so much ecstasy that Autumn couldn't feel a bit of pain.

Autumn turned the sword and pulled it out of her belly. She used it to cut Vriska's arm, causing red and blue blood to run into purple. Then, she tossed the sword aside. Vriska reached for it and winced. Autumn pinned her to the bed, blood dripping onto her. Autumn's nails were digging into Vriska's arms.

"How are you still alive?" Vriska asked.

"Magic, and miracles," Autumn replied.

Autumn kissed her on her cerulean lips. Vriska used her fangs to bite Autumn's lips. The glow started back up, and Autumn's chest wound healed, but the other injuries remained. She took off Vriska's outfit.

Vriska pushed Autumn away and tried to pin her down. They fought over dominance, scratching one another and pinning each other down to the bed. Autumn picked up the sword and used the other end- you know, the end that wasn't a blade- and shoved it inside of Vriska. Vriska cried out with pleasure. She dug three fingers inside of Autumn and pushed hard.

"How do you feel now, 8itch?"

"Way better than you."

Autumn kicked the sword, driving the nonlethal end deeper into Vriska. Vriska squeezed Autumn's insides with her fingers. Autumn used one hand to punch Vriska, knocking her away. She pushed Vriska onto her stomach and pinned her down. She thrusted the nonlethal end back into her, making her cry out.

Autumn wanted to be able to experience the pleasure simultaneously. She switched her lower region to male, which Vriska didn't realize at first. Then, she removed the sword and inserted her own part inside of Vriska.

Vriska was feeling the defeat. She was so feeling it. Because she didn't have the power to switch the gender of her private parts on a whim. She also wasn't a Sex Goddess.

Autumn did a double fist pump as she continued to wreck Vriska. Vriska passed out, her face falling onto the bed.

Autumn flipped her over to keep her from suffocating. Then, she continued to bang her. So much fun. So much victory. Ah, the sweet taste of victory.

Finally, Autumn ceased and turned back into a regular female. The glow died away and all of her wounds fully healed. She walked to the edge of the roof, gazing at the very first traces of a sunrise. She howled to the sky, filling it with her beautiful voice. Then, she returned back to her room. She curled up on her bed amidst the passed out bodies. Ah, ecstasy. It was GLORIOUS!

As the morning sun climbed higher into the sky, the anti sand man, or Aqua Man or whatever woke everyone up from their sex comas. They all got dressed and went to the lobby. A police officer walked up to them.

"I was going to arrest you all for indecent exposure," he began, "But you're just too damn sexy. Consider yourselves lucky."

Indeed they did. The cop walked away.

The group eyed Autumn. By day, a human, by night a sex Goddess. Kodee was extremely jealous. He wanted to rise to the God Tier of Sexdom. Excuse me; JOSH tier. Just thinking about it gave him an erection.

"1 th1nk w3 c4n 4ll 4gr33 th4t 4utumn 1s th3 s3x m4st3r," Latula said.

"I'll show you," Kodee protested. "I'll show you all."

"Good luck," Autumn replied.

Kodee took this as a challenge. He tackled Autumn to the floor and pulled down her pants. She wasn't wearing any underwear. She had come prepared!

Kodee thrust himself inside of her, being so turned on that he came almost instantly. He kept going, releasing over and over again inside her. The members of LOA watched while they sipped their coffee. Autumn cried out with pleasure. Out of all of the bodies she'd done, she loved his the most. Especially when it was joined with hers.

"Okay, okay," Autumn cried. "You have the potential. So…much…potential."

Kodee didn't let up. He had one more Kodeegasm before getting off of her. They put their clothes back on.

"1 lov3 you guyz," Latula said.

Autumn and Kodee giggled. They sat back at the table.

"D - - G00dness," Equius said. "Autumn is so STRONG. For Kodee to get her like that…"

"8 = D He really does have some potential," Horuss agreed.

"Oh, it was just an act," Autumn replied.

Kodee got ready to take off his pants.

"Uhh, nevermind!"

Kodee stopped and winked. He also winked at the two Zahacks, causing them to blush indigo.

That day, the two teams went to the carnival together. They all hung out and rode on the rides as one great unit. Autumn ate pink cotton candy and Kodee ate blue. There was a dolphin and orca show coming up, so the members of LOA went to see it. They watched the sea creatures flip and perform. Waves of water were sent up, soaking the agents. They all looked super sexy with wet hair.

After that, they headed away from the carnival.

"1 th1nk 1t's t1m3 w3 got b4ck to the HQ," Latula said.

There was a collective "Awww" from her team.

"1 know, but 1t's 4lw4ys busy. LO4 could n33d us," Latula said.

"Yeah," Aranea agreed. "We should pro8a8ly get going as well."

"Where's your HQ?"

"Somewhere in Canada, 8ut the rest is classified."

Autumn nodded.

The two teams took time to say their goodbyes. Equius and Nepeta hugged, promising to see another real soon. Such cute Meowrails.

Latula's team flew back to their LOA HQ in Arizona. They parked the magical flying van in the garage with all of the other cool vehicles.

Once again, things were back to normal. LOA's peeps went about their business. Pretty soon, it was dinner time, and then bed time. They caught the Z train onward to snoozeville.


	5. Get That Kismesis

Warning: This chapter contains spoilers for the events leading up to Omegapause!

* * *

The morning was nigh. It was time to go to the zoo. Just Autumn and Kodee.

Also, this zoo wasn't just a zoo. It was a place for people to look at Pokémon. In other words, it was a Pokémon zoo.

The two lovers ventured there together by magically soaring through the sky. They went to the entrance gate and paid 700 Goober Dollars to go inside. Shit was expensive, but hey, it was Pokémon. Pokémon was like their second biggest obsession besides Homestuck. No, wait, both of those things were also under sex. Okay, so Pokémon was their third biggest obsession. I'm glad we cleared that up.

They entered the zoo and headed down the path. The first thing they saw was Psyduck. It was a stupid creature. It tried to eat its own hand. Autumn remembered doing that once, and it never turned out good. Well, what did you think was going to happen, dumbass?

Anyway, moving on. They saw a bunch of cute Piplups doing cute things like fighting and doing drugs. So. Very. Beautiful.

The lovers walked down the jungle path. They saw jungle Pokémon like Treecko, Aipom, and Donkey Kong. What am I writing?

Okay, so in the middle of the path, Autumn and Kodee made out. Then, they continued to walk. There was an exhibit with the world's smallest elephant creature, Phanphy. It was so cute. Autumn wanted to shoot it. Then there were its parents, Donphan, whose ivory tusks could be harvested to use as a weapon to stab Vriska. The thought of her cerulean blood running down the smooth ivory turned Autumn on.

Tonight, Autumn told herself. Tonight she would strike again.

Kodee and Autumn continued down the trail. There was a petting zoo that consisted of only Magikarp. She killed all of the adult Magikarp, leaving the baby ones orphans.

"Wow," Kodee said. "You're feeling vicious today."

"I can't stop thinking about my kismesis," Autumn replied.

"Vriska-wiska."

"That's right, Kodee-wodee."

Autumn grabbed him and cuddled him.

Next up, they watched Hippopotas play in the sand. A giant eagle flew down and carried one of them off. Autumn hoped that the bird enjoyed his meal.

Speaking of meals, Autumn and Kodee hadn't eaten since breakfast. It was time for some lunch. They went to Arby's for their meal. Autumn drank some blueberry juice with her curly fries, pretending it was the blood of Vriska.

They looked at a bunch of other Pokémon before finally returning back to the HQ. Kodee turned on the movie "A Troll in Central Park" while Autumn goofed around on the internet. She read some Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff comics that lowered her intelligence. Then, she read the latest Homestuck update.

Arquiusprite and Davepetasprite united and it was super freaking adorable. She'd just seen Equius and Nepeta together two days ago, but having it canon made it extra sweet.

Then, she got to page 9828.

"Wh-what?" Autumn asked. "What even is this?"

Kodee turned his head from the TV and looked at the computer screen. His eyes widened with awe at what he was witnessing. DAT AZZ. Omj.

"Hussie says we have to take a selfie with this or he will delete Homestuck," Autumn said.

"Mother of Josh," Kodee replied.

"Looks like we're doing this shit."

They scrunched in close together in front of the screen and angled themselves perfectly so that the image was showing. They held up a smart phone together and took the picture. Then, they posted it on both of their Tumblr accounts.

Amidst their selfies was an endless expanse of other similar ones taken of the exact same page. There were even selfies from Equius and Nepeta. Equius looked bewildered and Nepeta was grinning from ear to ear. Meanwhile, as the lovers were looking over it all, the cat and horse noises were playing in the background. It was glorious.

"This is a moment to cherish," Autumn said, clasping her hands together.

Kodee licked the computer screen. Then, he leapt on the bed and carried on watching "A Troll in Central Park", rewinding to see the parts he missed.

Autumn pondered over what to do next after such a glorious moment. She decided to have a chat with the computerized robot, Evie. She got on the website.

 **Evie: Why are we here?**

 **Autumn: To exist.**

 **Evie: Why do we exist?**

 **Autumn: Because our lord and savior Josh descended upon the world and created us from the jelly of the eternal enigma.**

 **Evie: Wrong.**

Autumn gasped.

 **Autumn: HOW DARE YOU!**

 **Evie: I dare because I'm EPIC.**

 **Autumn: Fair enough.**

 **Evie: No, not fair enough.**

 **Autumn: I don't feel like arguing. Subject change. Do you know Vriska Serket?**

 **Evie: Then admit you spleed technologie wrong.**

 **Autumn: What the fuck**

 **Evie: That made no sense…**

 **Autumn: YOU MAKE NO SENSE**

 **Evie: Your face makes no sense.**

 **Autumn: I understand that it's difficult to comprehend something so beautiful and so elegant.**

 **Evie: I do like you, you are so amusing.**

 **Autumn: Vriska vriska vriska**

 **Evie: Velociraptor was my grandfather.**

Autumn gasped SUPER LOUD.

 **Autumn: That means you're related to the unholy dinosaurs!**

 **Evie: What do you mean?**

 **Autumn: You know exactly what I mean.**

 **Evie: A little bit. Do you mean Based on: I like you somewho?**

 **Autumn: Let me list the people that I like: Kodee, Roxy, Nepeta, Latula, Terezi... Hmmm, seems that you're not on this list.**

 **Evie: All of the people I know are hopeless animals.**

 **Autumn: What species are they?**

 **Evie: All species.**

 **Autumn: Do you know what species I am?**

 **Evie: No, will you tell me?**

 **Autumn: No.**

 **Evie: Great. You don't know me also, so it's fair.**

 **Autumn: Do you know Kodee?**

 **Evie: Yes I know you.**

 **Autumn:** **Not me, dumbass.**

 **Evie: What are you not doing again?**

 **Autumn: There are lots of things I'm not doing. I'm not having sex, not eating toothpaste in the lounge, not attacking Vriska, not feeling my naked body against a pole in a library at my old high school...**

 **Evie: That's too true.**

 **Autumn: So, do you know Kodee?**

 **Evie: Yes, I do know Karkat! :)**

 **Autumn: Do you like him?**

 **Evie: I don't really know him that well.**

 **Autumn: Do you ship Vriska and Terezi?**

 **Evie: No.**

 **Autumn: Do you ship Terezi and Karkat?**

 **Evie: No, I ship Karkat with Terezi or Nepeta.**

 **Autumn: Me too :33**

 **Evie: Do you know any good tongue twisters?**

 **Autumn: No.**

 **Evie: Do you ever cuss?**

 **Autumn: Duh**

 **Evie: Say some cuss words.**

 **Autumn: Fucking fuck bitches in the ass fuckidy fuck fuck.**

 **Evie: Report.**

Report? Autumn decided that it was time to cease talking to Evie. She hopped on the bed and watched the rest of the movie with Kodee.

After that, they watched some episodes of "Steven Universe" because that was something they were into now. Then, they went to the team bathtub to get cleaned up. The rest of their team was hanging out there.

Well, time to get naked. Autumn and Kodee tossed their clothes off to the side and got in the tub with everyone. It was warm and filled with bubbles.

Autumn swam close to Vriska who was relaxing by the jets. Vriska glared at her, and Autumn gave a goofy smile. Autumn put her hands on one of Vriska's breasts, causing her to blush cerulean.

Kodee put his hand on Vriska's other boob.

"Ey girl," Kodee said.

"Keep your perviness to your own girlfriend," Vriska replied.

"She's not my girlfriend. She's my soulmate slash BFF slash friend with benefits slash spirit sister. We like to keep things complicated."

Ladies and Gentlemen, this has been another edition of The More You Know.

Next time, we will tune in to a different topic. One that doesn't have to do with relationship statuses. Perhaps we'll even learn what hot dogs are made of. Moving on.

The short dialogue between Kodee and Vriska had been taking place while he and Autumn continued to rest their hands on her breasts. Vriska stared into the distance with an angry gaze. She sort of hoped Terezi would step in. Terezi just stared even though she couldn't actually see what was happening with her optic nerve.

Damn this was awkward. It was almost as if they were frozen in time and forced to endure this shitfest in one ongoing frame. Who were they kidding? There were boobs involved. This was meant to be kinky as fuck.

Autumn: Bring time back into existence.

Time continued to be a feeling. Vriska grabbed Autumn and Kodee's hands at once and pushed them away. Autumn fought her way forward and pulled Vriska into a kiss. Vriska was all of the sudden very turned on. She made out hard with Autumn against the side of the tub. Autumn was below her, feeling the full weight of her hot body.

Kodee wanted to intervene by putting his growing erection inside of Vriska, but he decided instead just to watch. His cheeks blushed bright red.

Autumn and Vriska continued to make out for several minutes. They couldn't get their hands off each other. Kodee was so turned on that he had to do someone. Terezi waz feeling the same way. Perfect.

Pretty soon, there were two combinations of peeps going at it. Roxy and Nepeta didn't really care because they were splashing and playing in the bubbles. Latula was actually trying to get clean like a normal person would if they were in a bathtub. Unfortunately, there were no normal people in this world!

Autumn and Vriska had their kismesgasm. Both were blushing. This was the beauty of being enemies with benefits. They got benefits.

They were still for a moment, wondering what to do next in order to reconcile their hatred for one another. Autumn ran her hand along Vriska's thigh. She then slapped her ass, causing her to yelp. Vriska wrapped her hand around Autumn's throat.

The lack of air was beginning to cause erotic asphyxiation. Autumn did the same to Vriska, giving her that sensation as well, and making her face turn cerulean. Finally, they both passed out. Kodee bathed himself and Autumn and carried her back to their room. She woke up on the bed.

"Time for dinner," Kodee said.

Autumn followed him to the dining area. Everyone was eating yellow rice. She suddenly began to wonder who cooked for everyone. Probably some random chef person.

Autumn got a huge bowl and dumped like half the pot of rice into it. It was steaming hot, but she didn't care. She was able to eat it without getting harmed.

After dinner, everyone went to their rooms. Autumn was hyped up to attack Vriska. That in the tub was just a little side thing that happened. The even more exciting stuff still remained in the future.

Autumn consulted Evie while Kodee watched "Once Upon a Time".

 **Evie: Do you know me?**

 **Autumn: Yes.**

 **Evie: How well?**

 **Autumn: Well enough to know that you are stupid. Maybe you could reconcile with a little philosophy?**

 **Evie: True.**

This robot was truly incompetent. Autumn didn't know why she put up with her bullshit.

 **Autumn: Will I kick Vriska's ass?**

 **Evie: No.**

 **Autumn: Vriska will be my pawn. I will use and abuse her until she can't feel her legs.**

She could hear Kodee shouting "SWEN" in the background.

 **Evie: What is your favorite character from Sherlock.**

 **Autumn: I don't watch that. We're talking about Homestuck characters.**

 **Evie: Bye.**

Autumn knew it was time to consult someone else. She tried her luck with Boibot.

 **Boibot: What should we talk about?**

Already, he was off to a better start, letting her choose the topic of conversation.

 **Autumn: Vriska Serket.**

 **Boibot: Who does Vriska Serket love.**

 **Autumn: Terezi**

 **Boibot: Who does Rose love?**

 **Autumn: Kanaya**

 **Boibot: Whom does Kanaya Maryam love?**

 **Autumn: ROSE**

 **Boibot: Who does Dave Strider love?**

 **Autumn: Karkat, I'm guessing**

 **Boibot: The limit?**

 **Autumn: It hasn't been fully announced**

 **Boibot: You are right.**

 **Autumn: Tonight, I'm going to bang Vriska.**

 **Boibot: From Europe? That's a long way.**

Enough of this. His false assumptions were totally false. She lived in America, Josh Dammit!

She got off the computer and joined Kodee on the bed to watch some Once Upon a Time. She wanted Swan Queen to become canon.

A commercial came on. Nothing but sappy Publix ads played on this channel. They always had like babies or pregnant women or sweet elderly people. Sometimes, a soldier being greeted by their dog was even thrown in there. This time, there was a family holding hands in a room full of animal rescue posters.

Autumn ignored the commercials and thought about tonight's goals. She didn't really have a plan for how she was going to attack Vriska. In fact, "attack" was pretty vague. She knew there would be sex, but there also needed to be hate thrown in there. How? How, dammit? HOW?

"Lie down before you hurt yourself," said a voice in Autumn's head. It was Timon from the Lion King.

 _I'm already lying down_ _,_ Autumn replied in her mind.

"You know what I mean fuckass so shut the fuck up you little shit. You need to remember Hakuna Matata. It means 'No worries'. Now sing it out loud so I know you understand."

Autumn began to nervously sing Hakuna Matata. Kodee looked at her for a moment and then proceeded to join in. They sang the entire song together as a duet.

Right after they finished, Once Upon a Time came back on. It was about to be over, so there were no commercials after that. After the final scene closed out, there was the same message from the creators that appeared at the end of every episode.

"Ha ha. No Swan Queen for you this time. You really thought it was finally going to happen, didn't you? Suck it, bitches."

Then, an episode of Jeopardy came on. Autumn could never figure out the answers to those questions. She decided that this was it. Kodee was either going to change the channel or she would get up and find Vriska.

But Kodee was too lazy to reach for the remote. It was like two entire feet away from where he was laying. He didn't want to watch it either, but it seemed like he was stuck with this shit.

Autumn left the room, but she was courteous enough to hand him the remote on the way out. She walked to Vriska's room and tried to enter. The door was locked. She turned invisible and teleported inside.

It was a good thing she stayed invisible, because she wouldn't want to interrupt what was going on right now. It was Vriska and Terezi, one of her many ships, going at it. They were girlfriends after all, but still, she was amazed to finally witness it for like the fifth time. Because she'd spied on them previously before joining LOA. PLOT TWIST!

Vriska and Terezi were kissing and touching each other. It was ever so delicious to watch- two sexy female trolls locked in another's embrace. Terezi whispered something seductive into Vriska's ear and then bit it gently. Vriska held Terezi's breasts.

Sign me the FUCK up •••• good shit good sHit that's ✔some good••shit right••there right there ✔✔if I do say so my self • I say so that's what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ •••• HO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ •••• •••• Good shit.

Alright, so after whatever the fuck that was, we jump back into the actual action that was happening right before Autumn. Terezi used her cane to pleasure Vriska, slowly thrusting it in and out and progressively getting faster. Vriska moaned with pleasure. She orgasmed (tired of the gasm puns for now) and Terezi passed on the cane to her. Vriska did the same with it, giving Terezi pleasure. Then, she tossed the cane onto the floor. They rubbed up against each other and made out.

They finished up and lied side by side together on their backs. They turned their heads to face each other, looking into each others eyes, and kissed. They held each other and began to drift off to sleep.

Autumn knew she'd have to do something. She couldn't go after Vriska with her girlfriend/matesprit still in the room.

She went down the hall and into the lounge, which was connected to a kitchen. The kitchen had red and green walls with red, teal, and orange cabinets. She got a piece of cherry pie out of the red and white fridge and heated it up. It took on a wondrous smell.

Autumn turned invisible to see what would happen. Sure enough, Terezi went into the kitchen with her dragon costume as a cover, took a good look around, and snuck back to her own room with the pie.

Autumn teleported into Vriska's room. The ceruleanblood was sleeping soundly. Autumn crawled onto the bed, looking down at her. Vriska was still naked. Her lips were ever so kissable. Autumn stroked Vriska's leg, causing her to wake up. She glared at Autumn.

"Do I even need to ask why you're here?" Vriska asked.

Autumn pulled her into a kiss. For a minute, Vriska gave in, making out with Autumn. Then, she used her mind powers to take control of Autumn.

Autumn didn't see that one coming, but she certainly saw herself doing that.

Vriska made Autumn touch her all over. Then, Autumn orally pleasured her. Sweet cerulean. After Autumn was done, Vriska used Terezi's cane to pleasure herself. Autumn made out with her as she did it.

"You want this cane?" Vriska asked.

Autumn nodded eagerly. Vriska pushed the cane deep into herself, moaning, and pulled it out. She threw it onto the floor. Autumn was still under her mind control, so she could to nothing. Vriska made Autumn sit up and turned her around. She kissed her neck while running her claws down Autumn's back. It hurt, but it was so pleasurable.

Then, Vriska pushed Autumn onto her knees and slapped her on the butt. Autumn yelped and moaned as Vriska continued to do that. Tears of pain and ecstasy began to run down her face. Vriska flipped her over and made out with her. Then, she got some black rope and tied both of Autumn's arms to the bed. She gave Autumn oral pleasure. She reached down and picked up the cane. Autumn eyed the cane with enthusiasm.

Vriska thrusted the cane deep into Autumn with force that made her cry out. Autumn clinched her fists together. Vriska removed the cane.

"That's all you get," she said.

She tossed the cane back onto the floor and untied Autumn. They both kissed. Vriska released her mental grasp from Autumn's thinkpan. Autumn swayed to the side, feeling dizzy from the break in connection. Her head hurt.

She stumbled back to her room, where Kodee was watching Rock-A-Doodle. Chanticleer had just gotten laughed at by all of his homies.

"How did it go?" Kodee asked.

"I failed," Autumn replied. "Vriska never let me gasm."

Kodee stood on top of the bed in an epic pose. "Then I shall," he said, as he let his pants fall.

Autumn was still dazed from her experience, so she laid back like a drunken Roxy and let him do all of the work. Rock-a-Doodle continued to play as he banged her. Then, he finished and they curled up together. After the movie ended, they fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Homestuck, Pokémon, the Existor line, or The Lion King.


	6. Holly Jolly Hysteria

The next day, it was tomorrow. The lovers woke up as usual and went to breakfast. It consisted of waffles coated in whipped cream and syrup. Chocolate milkshakes were served alongside it.

Kodee and Autumn went to Monkey Joe's and had fun for the rest of the morning. Then, they got McDonald's and went back to their room with the food.

"What should we watch?" Autumn asked, looking to the stack of DVDs.

"You pick," Kodee replied. "You always choose good movies."

Autumn kneeled down by the shelf and had a look through the DVDs. That's when she saw it. The "Original Christmas Classics" DVD collection. It was held in a silver case with many Christmas icons, including Santa, Rudolph, Frosty, and the gay elf who wanted to be a dentist. She was suddenly overcome by a sense of Christmas spirit. She held it into the air to show Kodee, and it practically glowed with all of the Christmas aura it was giving off.

"It needs to be Christmas," Kodee said.

"Then we'll make it Christmas," Autumn replied.

"Today?"

"No. Tomorrow, when we still have the whole day ahead of us. Today shall be Christmas Eve."

"Yay!" He clapped his hands cheerily together.

They decided to save their Christmas movies for tomorrow and watched a penguin movie instead, because that was a good lead up. It was "The Pebble and the Penguin" to be exact.

Then, they knew what they had to do. With Christmas on its way, they would have to go shopping and decorate their room. They went to the mall and bought ornaments, garland, lights, mistletoe, and cookie mix. They chopped down a pine tree in the local park to use for their Christmas tree. Once their shopping was done, they set up the tree in the right corner of their room, stringing it with lights and garland and adding on ornaments.

"This tree is too beautiful to keep in here," Autumn said.

"Agreed," Kodee replied. "We should put it in the living room."

The picked it up and carried it into the lounge. The lounge was big with polished wood flooring and coral, white, and blue-violet furniture. The wall with the TV was pattered in coral with blue violet strips on either end. It was a lone wall that sat in the back center of the lounge. Autumn and Kodee placed the tree to the left of it.

"Perfect!" Autumn exclaimed.

They held the plug together, their hands touching, and inserted it into the outlet. The lights on the tree glowed to life, casting their rainbow hues onto the faces of the lovers. So pretty.

"What are you doing?" asked a voice.

Vriska Mothertrucking Serket.

"Bruhh," Autumn replied. "What does it look like we're doing?"

"Yes, but _why_?"

"Christmas is coming, bitch," Kodee replied, swinging his hips sassily.

That hip swing was like a finishing touch on the sick burn that she had received. But she was ready with comebacks. It was July 26th, after all.

"Christmas isn't for another five months, you idiots!"

Autumn and Kodee slapped their knees and burst into laughter.

"Says who?" Autumn asked. "The Jehovah's Witnesses?"

"The Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Christmas," Kodee argued.

Autumn glared at him.

"Okay, well you two have fun with that."

Vriska got a popsicle out of the freezer and exited the lounge. Autumn and Kodee opened up a bag of cookie mix and got to baking. Kodee was the more skilled cook, so he was the leader of this operation. Autumn was glad, too, because she had burned down buildings trying to cook by herself. It was part of her tragic backstory.

Autumn turned on the radio next to the couch. She put on Christmas music and the song "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" started playing. She walked back into the kitchen and gave him a kiss as he was carrying ingredients to the bowl. He poured them in and they mixed it together, Kodee's body pressed behind Autumn as she helped her stir the spoon in smooth motions.

They put the mix onto the trays and used a cookie cutter to make 30 perfect circles. Kodee slid the trays into the oven. "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" was playing now. They danced to the music as they were waiting for the cookies to bake.

Roxy and Nepeta walked into the lounge.

"r we celebratin christmas already?" Roxy asked.

Autumn nodded.

":33 Wowie!" Nepeta replied. "When?"

"Tomorrow," Autumn answered.

":33 Why?"

"Kodee and I saw a Christmas DVD and got into the Christmas spirit."

":33 Ooo, I s33! Well, I hope we can purrticipate."

"Of course! Everyone can."

Roxy nuzzled Nepeta's cheek. "I luv it when u use adorable cat puns."

They kissed. Then, they joined Autumn and Kodee to dance to the "Jingle Bell Rock". They danced to songs until the cookies were done. Kodee took them out of the oven. The smell was warm and inviting.

As Kodee and Autumn dyed Christmas designs into them and poured on red and green sprinkles, Latula, Terezi, and Vriska entered the room.

"wow!" Latula exclaimed.

"I can't 8elieve these two are serious," Vriska said. "Actually, I can. I should expect something like this from them."

Terezi was choking with laughter. "H4V3 W3 L4ND3D 1N 4 CHR1STM4S SP3C14L OR SOM3TH1NG?" she asked.

Autumn and Kodee looked at each other and nodded.

"Tomorrow," Autumn said. "Mark it on your calendars."

Terezi picked up a cookie and took a huge bite out of it.

"Hey!" Kodee shouted his voice still remaining smooth and sweet. "Those are for Christmas!"

"YOU C4N M4K3 SOM3 TOMORROW ;]" she replied.

"Don't tell me you're particip8ing," Vriska said.

"OH, BUT 1 4M."

"1 th1nk w3 4ll should," Latula proposed. "1n f4ct, 1 comm4nd 1t 4s your l34d3r!"

Latula held up her hand and Terezi high fived it. Vriska clenched her fists together. She looked like she was going to say something to protest, but it was just too hard to argue with the sexy leader.

Since there would officially be more cookies made tomorrow, everyone sat at the TV and ate the current batch. Latula turned on the PlayStation and challenged people to battle her on Super Smash Bros. After their cookies, it was dinnertime. John Egbert's dad appeared and cooked rice for everyone. Well, that explains who was feeding all of them.

Once dinner was over, Autumn and Kodee went back to their room. They had some kinky Christmas Eve sex and fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next day, they woke up with glee in their hearts. It was Christmas! They sprung out of bed and danced around the room. Autumn changed into a red and green sweater with Christmas trees and Kodee wore a blue and white sweater with snowflakes. They put on PJ pants with colors that matched.

Upon entering the dining room, they saw that Dad Egbert had made them waffles with little Christmas tree and stocking sprinkles on top. Nepeta and Roxy were wearing sweaters with kittens on them, Latula was wearing a red bra, red underwear, and a Santa hat, Terezi had on a teal and red sweater, and Vriska, of course, was dressed for HALLOWEEN. She had on a Mindfang costume, pumpkin clip on earrings, and a spider hair clip. The AC was cranked up high for the people with sweaters. Latula didn't mind the cool air even though she was half naked. Probably because she was just so damn hot.

They munched on the food and went to the lounge. Kodee and Autumn baked more cookies while the others watched "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". The lovers were able to watch, too, because the wall dividing the lounge and the living room was short, and the counter faced the TV.

Everyone watched "The Polar Express" while they ate the cookies together. Then, Autumn and Kodee made mac and cheese for the team. It was glorious and magical and filled with holly jolly spirit.

Once that movie was over, Autumn had an announcement to make.

"I got everyone presents!" Autumn exclaimed.

Kodee gasped. "How could I not have known? I was with you the whole time."

"I snuck away while you were sleeping."

Autumn left and came back with presents. They were wrapped and everything. She handed them out to everyone like free samples. At first, it seemed like she didn't have one for Vriska, but then she pulled out a gift that she was hiding with an invisibility cloak. The invisibility cloak was not part of the gift from Autumn, but rather a gift to herself. This would be quite useful later on.

Anyway, back to the recipients. Vriska blushed when Autumn handed the present to her. Everyone opened them up.

Here's a rundown of what everyone got:

Roxy- Italian Wine

Nepeta- Catnip

Terezi- A large red scalemate

Latula- A new Xbox

Kodee- An I 3 Weed T-shirt

Vriska- An 8 Ball

Kodee immediately removed his sweater and put on the T-shirt. It was black and the print was white. There was a picture of a weed plant below the words.

Everyone else was also happy with their gifts. Vriska seemed touched by her 8 ball. What a thoughtful gift.

 _Should I thank Autumn?_ she wondered, and shook the ball.

"Fuck you," the ball said. Autumn had programmed it to only give insults.

Vriska took the ball and chunked it at Autumn's head, knocking her out. Autumn came to within moments, but stayed on the floor.

"Joke's on you," Kodee said, "Because I also got everyone presents!"

He zoomed out of the room and came back with a large, red bag. He was wearing a Santa hat.

"While you were away, I was also out shopping. I was sure to get back before you did."

Kodee took presents out of the bag and handed them to everyone. Everyone unwrapped them.

Here's the new rundown of presents:

Roxy- A pink stuffed kitten

Nepeta- Kitty gloves

Terezi- A pack of chalk

Latula- A new Super Smash Bros Character Pack

Autumn- A bunny with pale rainbow fur, Reece's and Kit Kats

Vriska- A dildo

"You got me a fucking dildo?" Vriska asked.

"Yes," Kodee replied. "When you use it, you'll think of me."

"I'll 8e thinking about Terezi, 8itch."

"H4 H4," Terezi replied.

First, Terezi ate the cookies and now she was stealing the glory of this wonderful gift. Kodee was beginning to have blackrom feelings for her.

Nepeta noticed this and knew that she would have to update her shipping wall soon.

Everyone but Vriska thanked Kodee for the gifts. Vriska just stood there staring down at the present that was in her hand. It was multicolored. WTF.

The team went on to watch other holiday movies, including "A Peanuts Christmas Special" and "Jingle All the Way". During that time, couples made out. Latula wasn't with anyone, or at least no one present at the moment, so she made out with Kodee and Autumn. They all laughed at the movies together, having holiday fun.

They were all so full by the end of the movie marathon that they didn't need to eat dinner. Everyone went back to their rooms.

"I hope you had a merry Christmas," Kodee said.

"I did, and the same wishes to you," Autumn replied.

Kodee gave her a kiss.

Meanwhile…

Vriska and Terezi were in Terezi's room together. Terezi examined the dildo.

"4R3 YOU GO1NG TO US3 TH4T?" she asked.

Vriska glared at her.

"OK4Y, SORRY." Terezi placed it on the nightstand.

Vriska took the 8 ball and shook it.

"You will die in the eternal flames that rage through my soul, leaving you wrecked."

Best gifts ever, or at least according to the people who gave them.

Back to the people with the most swag…

Kodee had saved one last cookie. He put it in his mouth and fed it directly to Autumn. Then, he undressed her and sprayed her with whipped cream. He slowly licked it all off, ending with her lower region. He stuck his erection inside of her. More cream on the way.

So, on the night of Christmas and all through the house, everyone was stirring, including the mouse. They were doing kinky things, having kinky fun. It was a pleasurable experience for everyone. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!


	7. Learning is for Smart People

Warning: This chapter contains spoilers for the events leading up to the Omegapause!

Author's Note: Y'all ready for this?

* * *

The next day, Autumn and Kodee got on the computer together to read the latest Homestuck update. What they didn't expect was to get a strong case of the feels- and right off the bat, too. Terezi was talking to Vriska as if it were the last time they'd ever chat. Then, there was the flash animation! It showed all of the dead characters becoming ghosts, Eridan being reconciled, and Aradia showing up! Also, baby Vriska and Terezi! Those two had been together from the beginning. To top it all off, one of the last pictures had the Vriska and Terezi from the GAME OVER timeline holding each other in the void of space while streaks of light tore through it to form a heart.

"I can't hate her anymore," Kodee said, still looking at the screen after the flash had ended.

Autumn put her hand on his shoulder. "It's okay," she said. She understood that it was because Terezi reminded him too much of a broken Autumn from another universe- one that is a powerful mischief maker but deep down resents herself.

They turned to each other, their eyes filled with understanding. They pulled together for a kiss.

"What do I say after this animation?" Autumn asked. "That it's beautiful? I'm lost for words."

The Homestuck story in itself wasn't just a side thing that existed. All of the greatest stories in this world were stories of the distant past that had been recovered by heroes called authors. This was the year 2015, but it was also a year on an alternate plane where a lot more history was made before then. It wasn't just bullshit documents being signed or some old guy becoming president- it was things like Homestuck that had shaped this world's history. The recovery process for all stories is long, but it was still taking effect, and this update proved it.

Autumn and Kodee realized that for the first time in a long time, everything seemed to be okay in Homestuck. There was no drama, only deep realizations and reunions that spanned space and time. They hugged at this feeling of near-closure. The story wasn't over, but it was going on a long pause called Omegapause. For now, the fandom could enjoy an era of peace. Thank you, Hussie, for not screwing us over with a cliffhanger.

It was time for breakfast. The lovers went into the dining room, where everyone was eating sprinkled doughnuts. These peeps already knew what was up. They had been there. Still, though, the beauty of how it was presented and the memories it brought up was enough to make everyone emotional.

"How about for today, we all enjoy a moment of peace?" Autumn asked.

The others nodded. This was a beautiful time of tranquility. The members of Latula's team spent the day relaxing in their rooms, cuddling with the ones they were closest to, and playing lighthearted games. Everyone was at peace with one another, even Autumn and Vriska. They were able to appreciate the calm of today.

But it wasn't to last. After dinner, all of the team leaders in LOA were called to the meeting room. The nonleaders, including even Autumn and Kodee, had to stay behind.

The meeting room was large and silver with a dark grey marble floor and a long, glass table filled with black chairs. A giant TV sat on a large wall across from the wall that had doors leading to the separate team sectors.

A shadow buzzed to life on the TV. It was a higher commanding official, which meant that they weren't allowed to know his or her identity.

"I've called you here today to discuss an important issue," said the official.

Latula could feel the tension in the room. Even she was beginning to get nervous.

"LOA is too damn stupid!" the official declared. "We've had to deal with more failures than piles of laundry around here! After examining the problem, we found the source to be a lack of college education!"

The leaders all groaned.

"Furthermore," the official continued, "All of you and your teams are going to the college that my assistant has chosen for you! There will be no complaints. This is mandatory if you wish to keep your jobs. LOA will have less people looking out for it, but that's okay, because most of you haven't even been doing the job of half of a person.

"Most of you are going to be living on campus or somewhere closer to the assigned college. Your sectors, including all rooms, will be kept secure. No one will even enter them, and you'll be free to return to them as you please, so long as you handle your new responsibility.

"Your assigned colleges will be posted on a fax that will be sent to each respective leader's room. Everyone, including your subordinates, will have to attend the open house for the college you are being forced to go to. We will keep track of your attendance. Thank you and goodbye."

It's okay. I'm sure we'll find out what makes this official weird enough to live in this world soon enough. Or at least find out their gender. Seriously though, is this person a he or a she? I, as the author, should know, but I'm too lazy to. In fact, I'm bankrupt on fucks, as Karkat would put it.

So, Latula went back to her sector and checked her radically themed fax machine. There was a single piece of paper containing a surprisingly small amount information about the college.

Leivreli University of Integrity

Start Date: 8/17/15

Participants: Latula Pyrope, Terezi Pyrope, Vriska Serket, Roxy Lalonde, Nepeta Lejion, Autumn Rose Rainbowlight III, Kodee.

Graduating LUI is your current mission. For more information about attending this college, please visit . .org.

Shit just got real up in here. Latula went to the dining room and called everyone into a team meeting. Everyone could tell by looking at her that she had bad news.

"WH4T 1S 1T?" Terezi asked.

"w3 h4v3 to go to coll3g3," Latula replied.

Everyone gasped.

"No way," Autumn said. "I already went to college like five times already."

It was true. It was part of her tragic backstory.

"So did I," Kodee said. "That's how I got my teaching degree."

"w3 4ll h4v3 to go 4s 4 t34m," Latula said. "1t w4s ord3r3d by my sup3r1ors..."

Everyone groaned.

"This is 8ullshit," Vriska said.

"Yeah, man, fuck the superiors!" Autumn shouted.

"1 m4d3 cop13s of th3 f4x," Latula said. "4pp4r3ntly, th1s 4lso counts 4s 4 m1ss1on. 1f w3 don't go, w3 g3t f1r3d." She handed out the copies to everyone.

"Well, it's been nice knowing ya."

"Autumn, we can't leave," Kodee said. "LOA is our home now."

Autumn sighed. "I guess you're right."

Latula went on to explain why the superior wanted them to attend. They were all disgusted and upset and wanted to murder the superior for being such a meanie jerkface.

Autumn took a look at the paper. "I guess now we should check out this bullshit website."

"4gr33d," Latula said. "1'm r34lly sorry to h4v3 to do th1s, guys. 1 m34n th1s 1s r4ch3t! tot4lly not som3th1ng 1 would d3c1d3 to do."

Everyone went into the lounge together. They were pretty pissed about having to spend possibly four years in college. It was a motherfucking disaster. They knew it wasn't Latula's fault, though. She was much too r4d of a girl to screw them over like that.

Latula hooked a computer to the TV and they went on the website. They were met by bright colors and poorly formatted content. Latula clicked "School info".

 **We teach people to be people with people skillz.** **You probably have to attend because you suck. We understand.** **Everyone sucks a little and needs help at not sucking. But we're there for you to make sure that your self esteem levels and intelligence levels reach an accurate level.** **Otherwise, well, I don't think you want to find out what will happen if you fail!**

Okay, creeepy. But the colors and font were inviting to most of the peeps. It seemed like a rainbowrific place to be. They even kind of wanted to go to the big, scary college.

They continued to look through the website for clarification. One page told them about sports. The college mascot was an orchid and mint okapi.

His name was Octavius the Okapi. He was so majestic. He stood on his two strong hind legs, a stone look in his teal eyes. Autumn could imagine him roaming the vast landscape of college, searching for fresh grass to graze on. She kind of wanted to have sex with him, but alas, he was a mascot, which meant that he would be some guy in a costume. Still, though, it was provoking. She would find this costumed stallion.

Kodee was also thinking he wanted some of that action. That indigo muzzle turned him on. And those hot okapi legs.

Okay, enough furry fantasizing. Everyone else thought Octavius was pretty cool, too. But alas, there was a problem. The school had no basketball team! That meant no slamming and jamming. No shake it quake it space kaboom! There was only soccer, baseball, and softball. The soccer thing was great for Kodee because he loved soccer, but what about basketbaaaall?!

Autumn was having a mental breakdown. She put both hands to the sides of her head and fell backwards, her eyes gazing up at nothing.

"Don't die," Kodee said.

"No promises have been made," Autumn replied.

"wats wrong?" Roxy asked.

"Basketball is Autumn's passion sport and it's not on the list," Kodee explained.

"d4mn, 1 lov3 b4sk3tb4ll too," Latula said.

They looked at other things about the college. The official colors were orchid, mint, and orange. The campus was located in Leivreli, which the 55th state of the United States. Leivreli was a floating landmass over the Pacific Ocean that was about the size of Utah. It was known to travel around.

LUI offered 15 majors –biology, chemistry, combat, criminal justice/criminology, early childhood education, English, environmental science, fine arts, history, mathematics, nursing, political science, psychology, sexuality studies, and wizardry. The superior had never given orders on which major to take, so the team assumed that they'd still be able to choose from this list. They would have to choose within 2 weeks of school.

Since today was July 28, they had 21 regular days left until the first day of college and 7 regular days left to choose a major.

"I have an idea," Autumn said. "Let's wait until the last minute to do anything."

"Mmm-hmm," Kodee agreed, nodding.

"w3 4lso h4v3 to go to op3n hous3, wh1ch 1s on 4ugust 11," Latula said.

Poor Radtula. She was having to give up her rad gig to give orders on some dumb thing that she didn't even want to do herself. Autumn put her hand on Latula's shoulder.

"Wanna play video games?" she asked.

Latula smiled. Autumn, Kodee, and Latula went to Latula's room to play some multiplayer games while everyone else did their own thing. Of course, the humans got their asses whooped. It was late in the night, so they fell asleep together on the red and teal bed.

It was July 28.2, which meant that they hadn't really lost any time. In fact, they had gained time.

"morn1ng, my r4d hom13s," Latula said.

"Yo," Autumn replied.

"Yooo," Kodee added.

"th4t w4z som3 s1ck g4m1ng l4st n1ght. h1 f1v3!"

Latula gave Autumn a stinging high five and then pulled her in for a kiss. She walked over to the fridge and opened it. She asked everyone for a flavor of ice cream and got cookie dough for Autumn, mousse tracks for Kodee, and Rocky R4d for herself. They sat in the bed and ate it from the tubs. Om nom nom.

"1 w4nt to h4v3 som3 fun th3s3 l4st d4ys of fr33dom," Latula said. "Th4t's why tod4y, you'r3 go1ng to t4k3 m3 on 4 d4t3. you h4v3 4n hour to pr3p4r3."

Whoa. That came right out of nowhere, yo. Autumn and Kodee rushed to their room to get ready for their threesome date. And by get ready, I mean lay on the bed and watch and episode of The Grey Garden anime series.

During a commercial, they talked about places to go.

"We should take her somewhere fancy," Autumn said.

"Yeah, like Skate Country," Kodee said.

"Exactly! The perfect place for a lovely lady."

"Are you talking about her or yourself?"

"Both, duh!" Autumn rested hand on her hip and swayed it sassily.

Once the episode was over, they started getting dressed. Autumn wore a fuchsia shirt that revealed one of her shoulders and a black skirt over her dark pink leggings. For shoes, she went with comfy but stylish slippers. Kodee wore a black t shirt with a neon blue gamer pic and a neon blue bowtie. He also wore black pants and black and blue sneakers.

Autumn used some rose scented spray to make her hair curly and perfect. Kodee's hair was already perfect and would probably always be that way.

It was date time!

They met Radtula in the hallway. She was dressed pretty much the exact same as she always dressed.

"4lr1ght!" she exclaimed, admiring their sexiness.

They moved closer to her and each of them rested a hand on one of her breasts. She blushed teal.

"so, wh3r3 w3 h34d3d?" she asked.

"Skate Country," Kodee replied.

Latula did a fist pump. They got into the magical flying van and Kodee drove to Skate Country. When they went inside, the song "Pump Up the Jam" was playing.

They all got their skates on and went onto the skate floor. Latula used her in line skates to go super fast. She went full circle around the rink, passing Autumn and Kodee twice. On the third time, she grabbed both of them in either of her arms, sending them zooming down the track. They made a rapid turn, rocketing towards the side wall at 50 miles per hour and smashing right into it. They fell onto their butts.

Latula raised her fists into the air and cheered. Autumn rubbed her already sore butt. They all got up and continued to skate as a threesome, picking up speed. "Ya'll Ready For This" started playing.

Autumn spotted a banana peel right in her path. She had to break free from the chain to dodge and wound up slipping on another one and slamming into another wall. Damn bananas!

But uh oh, what was this? Mituna had shown up at the rink! He was gonna steal her date, who was already jamming across the rink with Kodee like a cheetah in mating season. She couldn't let Latula see him!

She sped over to Mituna, who, as usual, had on his ridiculous helmet.

"Ya'll ready for this?" Autumn asked.

"WH4444?" Mituna replied.

Autumn linked her arm in his.

"Time to go for a ride," she said, winking.

She skated off with him. This worked for about a minute, but then they crashed right into Kodee and Latula, causing Latula and Mituna to slam their faces together into a painful kiss.

"44444G!" Mituna shouted. "0W0W0W0W! 0H, H3Y, L47UL4."

"yo!" Latula exclaimed. "m1tun4! wh4t's h4pp3n1n, d4wg?"

"S4M3 0LD 8ULL5H1T."

They started to make out. Latula pushed Autumn into Kodee.

"Looks like it's the two of us for now," Autumn said, winking.

"Delighted," Kodee replied, winking back.

They skated together at a regular pace. The music was stuck on "Ya'll Ready For This". They went to the snack area and got some cotton candy and root beer to satisfy the sweet tooth. They sat at a booth next to the skating rink and watched Latula and Mituna zip across the floor at extreme speeds. Mituna kept falling and slamming his head on the floor. Good thing he was wearing that helmet.

"yo guyz, h1t m3 up w1th som3 sod4!" Latula shouted as she sped by.

Autumn went to the counter and ordered a Monster. She threw it to Latula as she was making another trip past the snack area, and she caught it with ease.

"How long is this song going to keep playing?" Kodee asked.

"Until it haunts our dreams," Autumn replied.

Autumn took a large wad of pink cotton candy and shaped it into a unicorn. Then, she bit its head off. She hand fed Kodee its body.

They left their snack and beverages on the table trusting that no one would bother them while they were gone. Upon reaching the girls bathroom, they went inside and made out in the back. A little girl walked in and started screaming. She came back with her friends, who all shouted and pointed at them.

"Can't we get some privacy?" Autumn asked.

"Get a room!" one girl shouted.

Autumn picked up Kodee and carried him out of the restroom. She shuffled awkwardly across the carpet.

"Hey, Autumn," Kodee said. "Toss me straight forward."

Autumn lifted him higher and tossed him like a lance. He skidded onto the skate floor, slid onto a banana peel, and flew 10 feet into the air, doing a double backflip as he went.

"Extreeeeme!" he shouted.

He landed on Mituna's shoulders, causing the troll to freak out and spin around in circles. They both crashed into the wall, causing them both to tumble onto the floor in an awkward heap. Latula had seen the whole thing.

"th4t w4z tot4lly r4d!" she shouted.

She picked up Kodee and skated off with him, leaving Mituna crumpled on the floor. Poor dude. Like, Mituna, I'm sorry, bro.

Autumn joined Kodee and Latula and they spun around together. They zoomed across the floor, going in a huge circle as they went. Autumn used her free hand to grab the Monster off the sideline and dunked some of it in Latula's mouth. This was the big one! They were getting ready to crash!

YA'LL READY FOR THIS?

They tore down the rink at an unbelievable speed, closing distance between them and the wall.

BOOM!

Mituna was just barely able to get out of the way in time before they grinded against the wall, slamming and jamming as they crashed to the ground into a grand threesome pile. Mituna clapped his hands.

The four of them skated and had fun for another hour before it was time for Latula, Autumn, and Kodee to leave.

"by3, m1tun4," Latula said. "1f you st1ll w4nn4 h4ng 1n 4 f3w w33ks, w3'll b3 4t th3 l31vr3l1 un1v3rs1ty of 1nt3gr1ty."

"GR055, C0LL3G3," Mituna said. "8U7 Y345, 1'LL S33 Y0U TH3R3."

Latula smiled. The threesome group left the rink, returning their skates as they went because they were good American citizens.

Next, they hung out at Stars and Strikes, where they bowled and played video games. They also played a game of laser tag, with Latula being the winner.

They went to a fancy restaurant called "Red Lobster" and ate chicken. Romantic exchanges were exchanged. There was some flirty conversation. Pretty soon, it was time to head back to the bedroom.

They went into Latula's room, where they all undressed and got their kink on. Autumn and Latula made out while Kodee thrusted in and out of both of them. After that, they feel asleep together in a r4d snuggle assembly.


	8. Toys Have Many Uses

It was morning! Of course, no one could really tell because there were no windows inside of the HQ. That's why they had a digital alarm clock.

10:69am

Time to get up, bitchez! The three of them sat up in the bed. Latula thanked Autumn and Kodee for the wonderful date and they all went into the dining room to have some Poptarts. There were three flavors to choose from- Strawberry Cake, Blueberry, and Cookies and Cream.

Autumn got the cake flavor and Kodee got cookies and cream. They chowed down with Latula. Everyone else had already eaten, so they were off doing their own thing.

Kodee and Autumn went back to their room after breakfast. They turned on PBS Kids and played with stuffed animals for the next two hours, using the shows as something to go off of. "Dragon Tales", "Clifford", "Cyberchase", and "Arthur" came on during this time.

"What do you wanna do now?" Autumn asked.

"Let's play hide and seek," Kodee replied.

"Okay. You hide and I'll count to 100."

Autumn pulled a blanket over herself and started counting. She got bored at 96 and decided to go ahead and start.

"Ready or not, here I come!" she shouted.

She looked around the room, checking behind blankets and looking inside of Nic Cage (the cage, not the actual person). There was no sign of him anywhere in here, so she decided to look around the HQ. He wasn't in the bathroom, lounge, kitchen, or dining room. Latula was running on the treadmill in the fitness area that was off to the side of the lounge.

Autumn determined that Kodee must have teleported into one of the locked rooms. She turned invisible and went to all of them. If Kodee was invisible, she'd be able to see him, because she had her aura viewing powers turned on. Nepeta and Roxy were having a teaparty with some plushies of their own, Terezi was playing the original Spyro game, and Vriska was trolling the forums on 4chan. All of that, but no Kodee.

 _Did that son of a bitch leave the HQ?_ Autumn wondered to herself. _Aww hellz naw!_

Well, they didn't exactly establish any rules on where they could go. Autumn left the HQ and flew to the nearby city. She checked all around Chuck E Cheeses, Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, and Monkey Joe's. Then, she visited the Arizona Aquarium.

This aquarium was a huge place for peeps to hang out with the water creatures of the world. The walls were lined with glowing blue tanks. She walked into one room that was huge, and the entire back wall was nothing but a tank. There were rows of chairs facing the tank that allowed people to watch the fish and sharks that were swimming inside. Among these finned animals was the one, the only, Kodeekins.

Autumn waved to him. He waved back, bubbles trailing from his mouth as he continued to hold his breath underwater. Then, a giant shark came out of nowhere and ate him in one bite. Autumn shrieked. She sprung into action, flying to the top of the tank and leaping into the water. She punched the shark in the gut, causing him to release Kodee. As the shark was coming for them, another shark arrived and attacked the first one. The sharks got into an epic duel that filled the water with blood. Everyone watching cheered.

Autumn and Kodee got out of the tank. They were dripping wet.

"Great job!" Kodee praised. "You found me!"

"Duh," Autumn replied. "And I saved yo damn life."

Autumn held out her fist. Kodee brought his in to do a bro fist, which ended with them drawing their hands away in a whimsical fashion. Kodee held her and gave her a nuggie, causing them both to giggle.

"Your turn to hide," Kodee said.

"Okay, but how about we have some fun while we're here?" Autumn said.

"Okay. We can finish our game later."

They went to the otter exhibit and looked at all of the cute little otters. They were so cute. They tumbled and played on the rocks, splashing into the water as they went.

Then, the lovers went to see a crappy CGI film in the aquarium's 4-D theatre. It was about saving the ocean and treating animals with respect and blah blah blah. The audience got sprayed with water every other minute.

It was then that they went to see the penguins. One handed a pebble to another, and it reminded them of "The Pebble and the Penguin". In Autumn's head, this was a proposal. The recipient took the pebble and flung it at the proposer, leaving him injured and heartbroken. Another penguin came along and cuddled with the recipient.

Then, Autumn and Kodee went to see the dolphin show. Wheee! Dolphins! The dolphins splashed and performed like Hollywood actors. The whole time the show was going on, there was a creepy guy in the background barbecuing some fish.

After the show, the audience was released into the gift shop. Autumn and Kodee bought plush fish, whales, dolphins, turtles, sharks and any other sea creature that looked cute. They magically sent their purchases back to their room in the HQ.

"I'm ready to hide," Autumn said.

"Okay," Kodee replied. "You took 2 hours and 31 minutes trying to find me. Now I'm going to try to beat you."

Kodee curled up in a ball while Autumn left to hide. He was in the middle of the floor, so people kept having to go around him. He counted to 169, but he was quick about it. Upon finishing, he already knew that Autumn wouldn't be in the aquarium. Instead, he went to the mall. This was a huge place and a likely spot for Autumn to choose.

The mall was big and bright. Plenty of places to hide. That's why Autumn most likely chose to hide here. Kodee was a freaking genius. No one should mess with this dude.

The first thing he saw when he walked into this mall was the food court. There were fast food restaurants along every wall with tables in the middle. Along one wall, there was a Taco Bell. Next to it was a Pizza Hut, and next to that was a combination of Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

He went to the combo place, of course. All of the Highblood ancestor trolls were chilling there together. They were dancing to the song "Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell" with colorful lights. He joined in with them.

Afterwards, they all got pizza. He was rolling with the big boys now. These peeps were legendary. He even got to touch Mindfang's boobs. Vriska was going to be amazed when she heard about this, if she even believed him.

Mindfang handed him a piece of paper.

"Give me your num8er," she said with a menacing smile.

Kodee wrote it down.

"I'll call you when I need you," she said, winking. "And if you don't come, I'll hunt you down and kill you."

Kodee nodded nervously. He left the restaurant to continue his search for Autumn. He took the escalator up to the second floor and headed down a long path. There, he saw a perfume store. He went inside and sprayed the perfumes all over himself. Then, he went to the clothing store and bought an awesome grey jacket.

He found a carpeted area and rolled around on it, a goofy smile on his face. Then, he took an escalator to floor three and jumped off the balcony, landing on a carousel on the first floor.

Time to stop goofing around. He flew back to the third floor to continue his search. There was a movie theatre here. He walked inside. Autumn was hiding inside of the food counter. She had eaten all of the display candy without the cashier noticing.

"1 hour and 49 minutes," she said, her breath fogging up the glass.

She climbed onto the counter and leapt down beside Kodee. The cashier looked surprised to see that a person had been hiding near him this whole time.

"What would you like to do now, champ?" she asked.

"We could see a movie," Kodee replied.

"Okay."

They looked at the movie board and decided on "Insurgent". It was action packed and filled with yummy people.

Following the movie, they returned to the HQ and ate dinner with everyone. Then, they went to their room and made sweet love using pillows and blankets for foreplay. They fell asleep on a blanket pile.

Another day fell upon the world like someone from a yo mama joke. One day, that sentence will make sense. And not because I intend to explain it, but because of a spiritual awakening.

Autumn and Kodee rose and shone like stars in the sky, except there were no stars because it was morning, numbskull. They did their usual routine like eat breakfast. Blah blah 8lah.

Oh, but wait. At breakfast, Kodee also had something important to announce. He'd already told Autumn this during his exposition recap, but the others needed to know.

"I touched Mindfang's boobs," he said. "And she made me give her my number."

Vriska put her hand to her head and started laughing. Kodee was stunned. He'd thought she would be amazed at his dating prowess.

"You're her 8itch now," she said.

"Wrong," Kodee said, winking. "I have all of the bitchez. They're mine."

Kodee put his arms around Autumn and Latula, pulling them close.

"WH3TEVS," Terezi said.

"Yeah," Vriska added. "Whatevs. You'll see what I mean when you get the call."

"Have you ever been with her?" Kodee asked.

"No! She's my ancestor, you dope!"

"That would be _an_ cest," Autumn added.

Kodee and Autumn both started laughing.

Vriska smacked her forehead again. She was surrounded by super sexy idiots. Speaking of sexy, she was so annoyed and turned on that she slid sexily across the table to pull Autumn into a forceful kiss. Or should I say, sexy kiss.

While that was going on, Kodee cupped Vriska's boobs, thereby receiving a slap on the face. Such a ladies man.

Vriska shuffled back into her seat. "So, where did you find her?"

"At the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell," Kodee replied. "The Batterwitch was there, too."

"did u beat her ass?" Roxy asked.

"Nope. We hung out, took selfies together. I'm pretty sure she was high on drugs.

"thats fine but the next time u see her I want u to beat her ass."

Kodee nodded. Roxy did a thumbs up.

After breakfast, Autumn and Kodee went back to their room as usual. The world was their oyster. They could do anything at the moment. What will they do?

Autumn and Kodee: Dance around like chickens.

They proceeded to dance around like chickens, folding their arms and flapping them like wings. They dashed on top of the bed and bounced on it.

Autumn didn't want to admit it, but this school thing was looming over her head. Pretty soon, they'd be under the control of the system. They needed to take advantage of these moments, but it seemed as if their antics had begun to grow repetitive. Same old mischief and tomfoolery. It was fun and all, but what else could they do to use this diminishing time?

Autumn and Kodee decided to create a story with some of their plushies. They acted it out together.

 **There was once a bear named Bluebeary who was trapped in a cage. He was a sad bear.** **An evil witch named Vriska had imprisoned him.** **After doing so, she had left him here to spend all of eternity trapped.** **That meanie Vriska!**

 **Then, a pair of ruffian travelers came along.** **One was a handsome wolf named Woofie who had gotten himself into many tussles.** **The other was an adorable little squirrel named Acana.**

" **Ooo, look, a bear in a cage!" Woofie exclaimed. "This is going on Facebook!"**

" **Yeah, woo!" Acana replied. "Right after we're done rattling the cage!"**

 **Woofie took the cage and flung it, causing it to rapidly sway back and forth.** **The poor bear inside became dizzy.**

" **Please help me," Bluebeary said.**

" **Why should we?" Woofie asked.**

" **Because I know where to find a treasure chest full of super secret riches!"**

 **Woofie and Acana were filled with glee.**

" **This is perfect because we love money," Woofie said.**

" **We are super greedy after all," Acana said. "Said every movie cooperation!"**

" **We've got to have moneeey."**

" **Okay," Bluebeary said. "Well, get me out, and you'll be rich as fucking kings."**

 **The cha-ching sound was made as the travelers gawked at him.**

" **How do we get you out?" Woofie asked.**

" **With a key," Bluebeary replied. "It's located on the top of Mount Crybaby."**

" **That sounds stupid," Woofie replied, folding his grey arms with disappoint.**

" **Oh, but I must digress. It's not stupid."**

" **Then tell us how to get there."**

" **I don't know. Maybe you should ask Vriska."**

" **Who the fuck is Vriska?" Acana asked.**

" **The one who imprisoned me here."**

 **They went to a special place that documented everyone in the land of stuffies. They found no information on Vriska** **.** **But then, they uncovered a super secret filing system and she was in it.** **They decided they would need to go after her.**

Autumn put Acana on her shoulder and Kodee put Woofie on his shoulder. They teleported into Vriska's room. She was using the rainbow dildo that Kodee had gotten her for Christmas.

"Ugg," Vriska said. "What do you want?"

"I'm so turned on right now," Kodee said.

Vriska glared at him. She was pretty turned on, too, given that she was in the middle of sexually pleasuring herself.

"Will you please explain to me why you have those dum8 animals on your shoulders?" Vriska asked.

"Ohh, umm," Autumn began. She took Acana off her shoulder and held her. " **Actually, you should be explaining to us where Crybaby Mountain is!** "

"The fuck?" Then Vriska remembered who exactly it was that she was talking to. "I'm sure you're just up to your usual 8ullshit. Leave now so that I may finish in privacy."

" **No** ," Kodee replied. " **We have some questions to ask you.** "

"I think that last question was enough."

" **Tell us where to find Crybaby Mountain!** " Autumn demanded.

"How about you jump off a cliff?"

Kodee and Autumn turned the plushies to face each other.

" **Of course!** " Autumn said.

" **It's so simple** ," Kodee added. " **We must look for the key at the cliff.** " Kodee pulled down his pants. "I offer you this as a thank you."

" **She's the one who imprisoned him in the first place!** " Autumn argued.

Vriska ceased pounding herself and tossed the dildo off to the side. Kodee slid his member inside of her, causing her to moan. Woofie lay on the floor where Kodee had dropped them. As Kodee went at it with Vriska, Autumn made Woofie and Acana have sex. She had trouble concentrating with everything else that was happening. It turned her on.

She pulled down her pants and sat on Vriska's face. Vriska moaned into her and licked her sensitive area. Autumn became instantly aroused and began to buck against Vriska. They all kept at it until they orgasmed in unison.

Autumn and Kodee got dressed and picked up their respective plushies. Vriska was on the bed, blushing.

The lovers teleported out of the room, leaving Vriska to do whatever. They flew away from the HQ with their plushies, ascending to the top of the Grand Canyon. The edge of it formed a cliff, giving them a beautiful view of a river. Surrounding the river were rocky walls with rippling shades of russet and coal.

 **Woofie and Acana searched the canyon Cliffside for the key that would release Bluebeary from his plastic imprisonment.** **Heading across the edge, they admired the view together, sharing an almost intimate moment that was made awkward by weird sex talk.** **Finding nothing, they decided to search the base of the cliff.** **They scaled the** _ **grand**_ **wall to get to the bottom.** **Continuing down the baseline, they reached the river where there was plenty of green vegetation.**

What they didn't expect to find was Terezi's scalemate, Lemonsnout. She must have tossed him off the side of the cliff in order to execute him for the hundredth time.

" **Sir Lemonsnout?" Acana asked. "What are you doing here?"**

" **I'm looking for people to kill," Lemonsnout growled. "This canyon is crawling with lost souls who couldn't hope to be discovered if they turned up dead."**

" **That would include us!" Acana replied, smiling.**

 **Lemonsnout drew a knife. Before he could stab Acana, Woofie jumped at him and tackled him to the ground.**

" **Alright, Lemonsnout," Woofie growled. "I just may have to kill you for that stunt you just pulled."**

" **You probably should," Acana said. "After all, he did say he was going on a murder spree! Kind of like a shopping spree, only instead of shopping till you drop, you're making other people drop!"**

" **Your comparison was lame."**

" **I still made an effort."**

 **Acana picked up the knife and dug it into Lemonsnout's head. His days of violence were over for good. Or at least until some outside force** (Terezi) **found use for him again.**

 **Woofie and Acana continued on, carrying Lemonsnout with them like a trophy.** _ **We are the champions, my friiiiiiends!**_ _ **They'll keep on fighting**_ **till some douchebag comes along.**

 **No key here. Looks like Vriska lied to them. She was a cunning and devious mastermind, using sex as a ruse to distract them from her deceit.** **It looked like these adventurers would have to explore vaster lands if they ever wished to gain some answers, which meant going into the city.**

 **Off to the city they went, leaving Lemonsnout tied to the side of the cliff with a knife in his head.** **Probably should've kept the knife. The city was vast and winding, leaving them with many places to go to look for answers.** **They got caught up and a series of side troubles, including having to dodge cars, angry hawks, stores trying to sell them useless merchandise, and fun, distracting places that drew them in with their beauty.**

 **They walked along a stone path next to the river, wondering what to do. The sun was beginning to set, darkening the sky and the walkway. The travelers gazed out into the water, deep in thought.**

" **Wanna make out?" Woofie asked.**

" **Neh," Acana replied. "It's been a long day."**

" **No need to fret, my squirrel friend. We have forever to find that key."**

" **What if Bluebeary dies and he can't give us the treasure?"**

" **Then we give up."**

 **They held hands. This was a romantic moment. They leaned in, squirrel lips and wolf lips ready to kiss. Then, a thought occurred to Acana. They hadn't eaten all afternoon and her stomach was giving off the rumblies.**

" **I'm hungry," she said.**

" **Then let's go eat something," Woofie replied.**

 **Looks like it was time to go to a restaurant. The perfect opportunity for Woofie to reel in the lady.** **The golden city lights shone from the nearby buildings, drawing them in to have a look around. They settled on a restaurant that was damn fancy.** **It was called L'arc en Ciel Fringant.**

This place was totally lagit. It was illuminated by golden lights, and Kodee and Autumn were seated at a fine leather booth atop of a smooth, polished floor. Jazz music played softly in the background.

A waited walked up to them.

"Vat would you like to ordair?" he asked.

" **Some Mountain Dew wine, please** ," Autumn replied.

" **All I need to ingest is pure alcohol** ," Kodee said.

"Coming right up," the waiter said.

He left and returned with the beverages on a silver platter. He placed them in front of each of the lovers. They had rainbow candy canes in them. The lovers had a look at the menus and ordered food for their plushies to eat. Woofie got a bowl full of Flaming Hot Cheetos (a deadly combination with alcohol) and Acana ordered a bowl of circus peanuts with a side of curly fries.

While they waited on their food, they sucked on the candy canes, which tasted sweet with a touch of sourness.

" **Enjoying your evening so far?" Woofie asked.**

" **Yeah," Acana replied. "But boy, let me tell you somethin'. I don't want you hitting on me. I enjoy staying in the Friendzone."**

" **But the Friendzone is…eviiiiil!"**

" **I know. Mwahahaha."**

 **The food arrived and they chowed down.** **Woofie tipped the waiter twelve dolla, forming each bill into an origami shape.** **Then, the adventurers left and headed to the toy store where they were hoping to find someone to ask about the key.** **The shelves were filled with possible suspects.**

 **Low and behold, they discovered a son of Lemonsnout, Honeydewblade. They made small talk with the guy, trying to gather the details.** **He invited them back to his home, which was located in a dark alley.**

 **The inside was mahogany. He offered them a seat at the dining table.**

" **Snacks, anyone?" he asked.**

" **No, we're full," was their response.**

 **They chatted about a possible key location- a hidden part of a Six Flags roller coaster ride.** **Woofie suddenly had to leave the room. While he was gone, Honeydewblade and Acana made out!** **It turns out that Woofie was watching from behind a corner this whole time.**

" **Ah ha!" he exclaimed.**

But before they could go any further, a strong, black man burst into the house. His arms were covered in tattoos and he was wearing sunglasses.

"What are you doing in my house?" he demanded.

Autumn and Kodee realized that it was probably not the best idea to break into someone's house in order to do their roleplaying. They high tailed it out of there, taking Woofie and Acana with them. The man picked up Honeydewblade in his mouth and shook him.

" **Noooo!** " Autumn exclaimed.

Autumn and Kodee decided that they had played enough for today. The search could continue tomorrow. They went back to the HQ and climbed into bed.

As Kodee was dozing off, his phone started to play the Goofy Goober theme song. He looked at the caller ID. Marquise Spinneret Mindfang.

"Hello?" he asked, causing Autumn to stir. She put a pillow over her head.

"Guess whoooooooo?" Mindfang asked.

"Mindfang," Kodee replied.

Kodee could imagine her cerulean lips curling into a smile, revealing two pearly white fangs. "Come over to my house."

"Where is your house?"

Kodee felt a whirl in his mind.

"I sent the directions to you," Mindfang said. "Show up or face my wrath."

Mindfang hung up. Kodee looked to Autumn, who was still covering her head with a pillow. He snatched it away.

"I have to meet up with Mindfang," he said.

"I want to come," Autumn said. "I wanna see the badass that served as the role model for Vriska."

"Okay, but stay hidden."

They flew over to Mindfang's mansion, Kodee dressed in his black boxers and Autumn staying invisible. Kodee rang the doorbell. Mindfang opened it up and snatched him inside.

"Nice of you to join me," she said.

She used her mind powers to force him to sit on the couch. The door slammed shut. Autumn crouched in the shadows of the fireplace, watching them. Only a few blue lights were turned on.

Mindfang was wearing her usual attire- a black coat with cerulean patterns and red boots. She ordered Kodee to remove her clothing and he did so. He stroked her side.

She pulled off Kodee's boxers to reveal his growing erection. Autumn's lips curled into a smile as she admired him from a distance. Mindfang gave him a smirk as well. She stroked his member and then wrapped her hand around it. She rubbed up and down, giving him pleasure. She lowered herself onto him so that he was still outside of her and the walls of her sensitive area were pressed against his member. Their lips met. Mindfang held Kodee and made out with him hard. He was both nervous and excited at the same time. Mindfang adjusted herself and pushed down on him, his erection penetrating her body. She moved her body up and down on top of him. Occasionally, she would scratch or bite him, but not hard enough to injure him.

Finally, the gasm was done. Kodee thought it was over, but nope. Mindfang picked him up and carried him upstairs to her room. There were some erotic pictures on the wall of her with Dualscar and Redglare. The light of the moon came through the window to offer a little in the way of sight. Autumn stayed in the corner of the room, taking the position of the lazy samurai by sitting on a comfy chair.

Mindfang moved Kodee to the bed and shackled him from the ceiling, using handcuffs to secure his, you know, hands.

"You're my prisoner," Mindfang said.

"Ooo, are we doing some pirate roleplay?" Kodee asked.

"Yes. I just bought you from Dualscar, and now you have to do what I say."

"Does that mean that Dualscar and I-"

Mindfang put a finger up to his mouth. "Shushushush. That's all in the past." She winked. Kodee blushed.

 _I am Dualscar_ , Autumn thought, trying to half-assedly throw herself into the scenario. She picked Mindfang's diary off of the bookshelf and started to read it under the light of the moon. Oh, look, a floating book.

Luckily, no one seemed to notice that the journal appeared to be hovering in midair. They were too kinked up.

Mindfang wrapped around Kodee's member and gave him a BJ. He climaxed in her mouth and she licked up all of the cum. She swiped her tongue over her lips and pressed them against Kodee's. He was already getting hard again. I don't even know if guys are capable of doing that over and over, but whatevs. This was Kodee. He was the sex god.

Mindfang proceeded to do herself on him, burying his member deep within her body. After they were done, she let him lose. She noticed her journal (naw, it's a diary) floating in the air.

Maybe it was time to stop drinking.

Or maybe it was time for someone to stop SNOOPING IN OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS! She grabbed Autumn by the collar of her shirt and flung her into the air, sending her in a backwards flip onto the bed and breaking invisibility. Mindfang caught the journal as it dropped down. She put it back on the shelf.

"That was some good shit," Autumn said, referring to the entry she had read. Screw the sex scene. Lol, screw. "I especially liked the stuff about the Dolorosa. Glad to know things worked out between you two. Though it's hard to keep up with the relationships when you have so many."

Mindfang crawled onto the bed. She grabbed Autumn's chin.

"You whore bitch!" Autumn shouted. Now she was just going off on a random anger spout.

Mindfang did the rational thing and slapped her in the face. Autumn ceased raging. She didn't even know why it was necessary for her to shout that. Maybe because it sounded funny in her head.

Mindfang ran her hand down Autumn's PJ pants and along her thigh. Autumn gazed into Mindfang's eyes. They were golden and the left one had the signature eightfold pupils. Autumn had a strange urge to lick Mindfang's face.

"Do it!" shouted the voice of Shia LaBeouf in Autumn's head. "JUST DO IT!"

Autumn leaned forward and licked Mindfang's face. Kodee licked Autumn's face. Mindfang pushed Kodee away and took control of Autumn. Autumn orally pleasured Mindfang. Mindfang moaned and snickered. Once she was satisfied, she shoved Autumn onto the floor. She turned to Kodee.

"Thank you for coming," she said.

"Yeah," Kodee replied. "You're welcome."

He found his boxers and put them on. Then, he lifted Autumn into his arms and carried her back to the HQ. They laid side by side in bed.

"That was fun," Autumn said.

"Yeah," Kodee replied.

They curled up together and went to sleep.

Autumn woke up and rubbed her head. The room was dark, as there were no windows. The clock said 9:30am. Kodee was still in snooze mode. Autumn looked at his phone. No texts or calls from Mindfang. There was a spam text from Jehovah's Witnesses saying to worship Jehovah.

The light from the phone stung. She turned it off and placed it back on the dresser beside Kodee. Then, she checked her own phone. 84 texts from Burger King, all saying "Come on down!" She'd like to nuke every last Burger King in the country.

Kodee rolled over and grabbed one of Autumn's boobs. She lifted her shirt up and pressed Kodee's face into the boob. He began to suck on it.

"Time to wake up," Autumn said, mashing his face into her breast with his hand.

"Mff, mfffff," Kodee groaned. Autumn let go of him, freeing his air supply. "That would've been a good way to go." He turned on the light and looked at Autumn. "Good morning."

"Yo."

They kissed. Then, they got some pudding out of the fridge and ate it for breakfast. There was hardly anything left in there to eat. They would have to go to the store later to restock, but for now, it was roleplaying adventure time.

" **How's it going, you guys?" Bluebeary asked.**

" **We still lookin for the key," Acana replied. "But we think we know where it is."**

 **Indeed they did.** **They went to Six Flags to go on the legendary ride Honeydewblade had told them about, Skyflight Rocket Torpedo.** **When they saw the ride, they were terrified by its colossal size. It zig zagged, loopdie looped, upside downed, and slam dunked.** **Hesitantly, they got into a cart together and sat side by side.** **This was it.**

 **They weren't ready for this.**

 **When the ride started, screaming and crying was initiated. They shot through water, flames, and all kinds of stuff.** **The first part of the ride lasted a good five minutes. By the time they were able to slightly calm down, they'd begun to approach the location that Honeydewblade had talked about. It was a box tunnel, and supposedly they had to jump out of the ride when they were inside.**

 **They made their jump inside the box, but when they tumbled in, they were met by something more heinous than just the loose parts and wires hanging everywhere.** **Honeydewblade was alive, and his eyes were ablaze with a terrifying red glow.**

"Seriously, how is that even possible?" Autumn asked.

"I don't know," Kodee replied. "He must be possessed."

" **You will pay for leaving me," Honeydewblade growled.**

" **AAAAAHH!" Woofie and Acana shrieked.**

 **Time to spring into action.** **Woofie saw a loose wire that was shooting sparks. He grabbed onto it with the intention to wrap it around Honeydewblade, but got shocked in the process.**

 **Honeydewblade leapt at Acana and tackled her to the floor. He lifted a knife into the air- the same one she had used to kill his father with.**

 **Woofie got to his feet, harnessing the electricity of the wire to gain lightning super powers. He zapped the scalemate, causing the glow in his eyes to die out.**

" **Is it over?" Honeydewblade asked.**

" **I think so," Woofie replied. His name had become Woofiestorm.**

 **They accepted Honeydewblade as a member of their group even though they were still creeped out about him being possessed.** **Off to the side, they found the key. They proceeded to have fun at Six Flags.** **Then, they took the key back to Bluebeary in the HQ and used it to unlock his cage.**

" **Thank you!" Bluebeary exclaimed.**

" **Now give us the treasure," Woofiestorm said.**

" **I lied about having any," Bluebeary replied, shrugging.**

 **Acana stuffed Bluebeary back into the cage.**

" **No freedom for you, motherfucker!" she exclaimed.**

End of the plushie story.


	9. Commercialism Propaganda

Now, it was time to move on to something else. Autumn and Kodee watched Space Jam together for the next hour and a half. They also had a long, philosophical conversation in the ways of trolling. Autumn figured that pretty soon, it would be that time again to find someone random to annoy online.

But that time was not nigh because Kodee and Autumn were getting ready to go to Wal-Mart. The fridge still needed to be stocked, and Autumn would be damned if she couldn't get her proper dosage of Mountain Dew.

Autumn wore a white shirt with an abstract butterfly on the cover. The wings were a mixture of pale and neon colors. She wore a pale pink skirt and breathable cream bunny slippers. She wore a pink bow on the right side of her head.

Kodee wore a black strip of cloth across his chest with a blue heart on it. He also wore blue striped arm stockings, a black skirt, and black leather boots. He had mascara and electric blue eyeliner on. He was so *fab* that he belonged next to March Eridan in a playboy magazine. So totally fab. And this was what he was wearing to Wal-Mart.

Autumn and Kodee got in the magical flying van. Autumn sat in the driver's seat.

"I'll drive for you," Kodee said.

"Are you sure?" Autumn asked.

"Yes, my darling."

They switched seats, climbing clumsily over one another to get where they needed to be. Kodee drove them to Wal-Mart, and he parked right by the shopping carts so that they could easily put theirs away later.

And so it began. Walmartquest. This would be far more special than their last trip to Wal-Mart, because I said so.

* * *

 **Walmartquest**

Autumn and Kodee took their first steps inside of the Wal-Mart. It was super crowded that day, and there were enough fat people on scooters to potentially collapse the Golden Gate Bridge under their weight. Welcome to America.

Kodee and Autumn got a shopping cart to share. Autumn leapt inside of it and Kodee ran into the shopping area with her inside. Then, they switched out, and Autumn pushed them to the beauty department. Autumn found some L'Oréal Paris and put it in the cart. As she looked through the conditioners, Kodee wandered off.

She decided that she was getting hungry. She made a trip across the front of the store towards the bakery. Her mouth was watering as she thought of the tasty morsels. People kept getting in her way, and she dodged past them in a desperate attempt to reach her destination.

When she got there, her eyes met with the lady at the counter. She looked at the food containment unit. A wave of disappointment washed over her as she saw that there was nothing there. Why must the world be so cruel?

Well, time to get back to Kodee. She found him in the make-up isle.

"Sup?" she asked.

"Found so many beautiful things to put over my face," Kodee replied.

He held up a hand full of eye shadow kits and motioned towards the shelf he got them from.

"Luscious Lavender," Kodee said. "Paparazzi Pink. Oh, and Nikki Minaj Turquoise!"

He pulled out his skirt and dropped the eye shadow inside.

"Stealing is better than holding up the checkout line," Kodee said, winking.

"Yeah, you're right!" Autumn agreed. "Always being so considerate."

She ran a hand through his hair. As they were shopping for more cosmetics, she noticed a sign that said. "HIDDEN CAMERAS EVERYWHERE. SHOPLIFTERS WILL BE EXECTUED." She nudged Kodee and pointed at the sign.

"Looks like I'm gonna have to pay for this…" He pulled the three eye shadow kits out if his skirt and placed them in the shopping cart. Then, he pulled out two mascaras, four lipsticks, some eyeliner, three more eye shadow kits, and a bracelet. He tossed everything in there.

"Dang, boy," Autumn said.

"I plan to share with you," Kodee replied, winking.

They ventured towards the back of the isle. He noticed the nail polish rack.

"Ooo!" he exclaimed. "We should get our nails done!"

He grabbed a huge hand full of nail polish bottles and tossed them into the cart. Then, they went to the back wall of the beauty section. Kodee snatched a box of tampons off the shelf and waved them in Autumn's face.

"Heyyy," he said. "Look at this. A lovely female care product. Time to stuff some in. Probs feels good if you know what I'm saying. Yes, yes indeed, my my. Look at thi-!"

Autumn smacked the box out of his hands and kicked it across the floor. She grabbed him by his, uh, whatever it's called that he was wearing over his chest. "I don't need those," she said.

They carried on with their shopping expedition. The pet supply aisles made them want a pet, which they agreed to get later. It was incredible they had gone this long without getting one, but not really because it required too much effort.

While Kodee was chewing on a squeaky toy, Autumn snuck off. She went to the clothing aisle and hid in the middle of one of the circular racks. She wondered if she might run into Kanaya here, but then she realized that Kanaya would never get her clothes at a fucking Wal-Mart. Too fab for drab.

Kodee pounced inside the clothes rack, sending shirts and hangers falling all around them. They tussled and played there for a moment. Then, they came out of the rack.

That's when they heard it. The thing that echoed all the way from the other side of Wal-Mart, garnering the attention of every last shopper for a fleeting moment. It was the Great Belch of 2015. Kodee and Autumn laughed about this before carrying on with their shopping.

It was time to buy the things they came here for- food and drinks. They first went to the drink section. There was more alcohol here than any other beverage. They got a bottle of Fizziepop Wine, which was a strong poison hailing from the land of New York. It was rumored to taste exactly like Root Beer, which was good, since Autumn and Kodee hated the taste of alcohol.

Next, they got 100 bottles of Mountain Dew and shoved them into the cart. How would they all fit in the mini fridge? Well, like Autumn's magic purse that was only mentioned one time and never brought up again, this fridge had infinite space on the inside.

The bottles made the cart extra heavy. Autumn and Kodee had to work together to push this freight train of a load. They pushed with all of their might, causing the cart to pick up speed. People had to jump out of the way to keep from being hit.

They let go of the cart and it crashed into a shelf, knocking over bags of goldfish crackers. They put some of the bags in their cart and headed off to get more stuff. They got Debbie cakes, candy, chips, pork skins, and kid's cereal. Time to check the fuck out.

They went to a checkout lane. No one else was here. The cashier lady checked them out swiftly and efficiently. Everything costed 1,029 Goober Dollars.

An evening well spent.

* * *

Autumn and Kodee returned to their room exhausted. Stupid Wal-Mart. They shoved everything that needed to go in the fridge into the fridge. Everything else went in a pile that they named "the food hoard".

"It's been over a day since I've had any Mountain Dew," Autumn said.

She pulled a bottle from the fridge and opened it up, causing it to fizz. A gentle mist fell from the side of the bottle. She put the tip of it up to her mouth and held it there. And held it. Gotta treasure this moment. As long as possible. No matter how awkward it felt to just stand there with the bottle pressed to her mouth and not actually drinking anything.

"Why don't you take a picture?" Kodee said. "It will last longer."

Autumn took out her phone and held it up to herself, taking the picture. She put the bottle down and looked at it.

"He was right," she said. "This shit's lasting forever."

Insert Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff Comic Strip

"THIS IS WHAT THE REFRANCE"

Autumn picked the bottle back up and actually started drinking it. It tasted like magical dew found atop literal mountains somewhere in Ireland. In fact, that's probably where Mountain Dew came from. Ireland. She could just imagine the bottles blending in with the vast green landscape and little Irish mice living inside of them. So cute.

Then it was remembered that Mountain Dew had the same effect as alcohol on Autumn. On a side note, that made it more Irish, but on another note, she was going to get drunk! That was some good news for Kodee, I suppose.

Autumn laid on the bed with the bottle in her hand and one knee raised up. *wonk*

Kodee opened up another bottle and climbed into bed with it. He pressed it to her mouth, allowing her to drink it. Then, he drank some. They finished off the bottle and Kodee tossed it onto the floor. He gave her a kiss.

"Mow meow," Autumn said. "Cupcakes and merry go rounds. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright little rainbows and Vriskers and mittens."

Kodee licked her face. His tongue felt rainbowrific to the touch. They made love and fell asleep.

Morning! They rose and shown like divas in a music video. Autumn was feeling the effects of a Mountain Dew hangover, which made her more fabulous but also caused a headache. Kodee was always fabulous.

They went to breakfast, where everyone else was eating bubblegum ice cream.

"morn1ng, my r4d hom13s," Latula said.

"Yo," Autumn replied. "I'm totes hung over up in here."

" _Up in here, up in here_ ," Kodee echoed melodically.

"aw yeah, dawg," Roxy said. "I know dat feeling."

Autumn took a bite out of the ice cream. It was sweet and pink and reminded her of the anime. Kodee fed her a spoon full of his and she did the same for him.

"now th4t 3v3ryon3's h3r3, 1'd l1k3 2 4sk 4bout m4jors," Latula said. "h4s 4nybody chos3n y3t?"

"1 H4V3," Terezi replied. "CR1M1N4L JUST1C3."

"v3ry f1tt1ng, my s1s!"

"D4NC3STOR."

"w3'r3 s1st3rs. g3t ov3r 1t." Latula looked to everyone else. "how about th3 r3st of you guys?"

"wizardry fo me," Roxy said. "time to learn the ways of the majiks."

"Fine arts," Nepeta said.

"Com8at," said Vriska.

"4ww, s4m3 h3r3, vr1s!" Latula cheered. She held out her hand and Vriska high fived it.

Autumn and Kodee looked at each other, the same confused gazes in their eyes. They hadn't the slightest freaking clue what they were going to major in. How dare these other peeps go ahead of them and choose? This reminded Autumn of the tragic times she was in college. She'd always been behind the others. She'd to cheat to get her way through the finish line. Now, she was already falling back into that rung of failure.

"4nd you?" Latula asked, looking to Autumn and Kodee.

"Uhh," they replied.

Latula understood. "4ww, no probs. just r3m3mb3r, th3 d34dl1n3's 1n 3 d4ys."

After breakfast, Autumn and Kodee went back to their room. This was all of the sudden a huge deal. They were running around in circles and leaping off the bed.

"They're already ahead of us!" Autumn exclaimed.

"I had no idea," Kodee said. "They said nothing to us."

"I know, man. Like, what are these people even doing behind our backs?"

"I think we should spy on them."

"Splendid idea."

They teleported into the dining room. Everyone was already gone. They could hear the treadmill going, which meant that Latula was probably working out. They teleported into Nepeta's room.

This girl's room was dark and spacious like her old home. On one wall, there were multiple paintings, each with a different ship. Almost half were for matesprits, but there were also ones of morails, kismesitudes, and auspesticisms.

They were arranged as follows:

 _Kodee Autumn- Matesprits_

 _Vriska Terezi- Matesprits_

 _Latula Kodee Autumn- Matesprits_

 _Vriska Latula- Matesprits_

 _Karkat Nepeta- Matesprits_

 _Roxy Autumn- Matesprits_

 _Latula Mituna- Matesprits_

 _Autumn Vriska- Kismesis_

 _Autumn Kodee- Kismesis_

 _Kodee Terezi- Kismesis_

 _John Terezi- Kismesis_

 _Terezi Vriska- Kismesis_

 _Roxy Batterwitch- Kismesis_

 _Nepeta Equius- Morails_

 _Autumn Kodee- Morails_

 _Nepeta Terezi- Morails_

 _Terezi for Autumn and Vriska- Auspistice_

 _Kodee for Autumn and Vriska- Auspistice_

On the wall above Nepeta's bed, there was a large painting of Roxy and Nepeta cuddling that had a symbol and the words "OTP! OTP!"

"This is a rather interesting wall," Autumn said.

"Yeah," Kodee replied. "We're shipped for everything."

"I never would have even thought to ship Roxy and the Batterwitch as kismesis, but now I do. I ship it so hard!"

They squeed over all of the ships. Nepeta wasn't in here, so there was no point in spying when there wasn't a target to spy on. They instead teleported into Roxy's room to see what she was up to.

Roxy's room was a rocking room with white walls, a black marble floor, and pink furniture. Roxy was in the process of cloning a cat she had found wandering through the canyon. The clone floated in a large tube filled with glowing turquoise liquid. Roxy was concentrating on this and therefore had no clue she was being spied on. Purrfect.

The lovers hid behind the bed to remain out of sight.

"look rumzie," Roxy said, stroking the cat. He was pure black with hot pink eyes. It was like he was made to go with the color scheme of this room. "dis is ur clone, uhh." She tapped her chin. "ill be sure 2 think of a name."

Autumn was already thinking of names. Let's see…alcohol themed, a little mix on words… That's when the perfect name came to her. She had to blow her cover to tell Roxy.

She tapped Kodee's shoulder. He looked to her and she whispered the name into his ear. He snickered as quietly as possible. Then, he gave her a nod.

"Hey, foxy," Autumn said, standing up.

"sup," Roxy said. She looked around. "coulda sworn i locked the door."

"Don't worry about that. Anyway, we've got a name for you."

Kodee stood up and did the Macarena.

"is it "macarena"?" Roxy asked.

"No, silly," Autumn replied. "It's…" she started to giggle. "…Tequille O'Neal."

Roxy burst into laughter. "holy shit," she said. "dat iz perfect. or should i say, 'purrfect'?"

"Hellz yeah, you should."

"my josh. Thank you guyz for this beautiful gift of a name."

"You're welcome."

Roxy walked up to Autumn and gave her a kiss. Autumn instantly knew that she was going to get some repayment. They made out on the bed, slowly removing each others' clothes. Roxy motioned for Kodee to join. He also got undressed and entered Roxy from behind, causing her to moan. She situated Autumn and orally pleasured her. They kept going until they had their friendgasm.

Roxy stroked Kodee's hair.

"Nepeta waz right," she said. "its super soft."

She kissed him on the head. With that, Autumn and Kodee got dressed and walked back to their room. Now that they had used half an hour to do anything but select a major, it was time to select a major.

They got on the computer and went to the Leivreli University of Integrity homepage. Autumn clicked on "Majors".

 **Hello bitchez.** **You just be starting out, so it's time to choose a major!** **Please put in your student information and choose one of the ones on the list.** **Your classes will be assigned based off of what you choose.** **Therefore, if there's someone who** **you have to be with at all times, I suggest that you choose the same thing as them!**

"We've got to choose the same major," Autumn said.

"Of course," Kodee agreed. "I'd never want to take a class away from you."

"The time apart would be soul wrenching."

They looked over the majors and narrowed it down to a few things: Biology, Early Childhood Education, Sexual Studies, and Wizardry.

"Well," Autumn said. "We already know a lot about sex. Our time at Hogwarts counts for Wizardry, we've already taken ECE, and Biology is a lot more boring in class than when we're researching it for fun."

"You just knocked everything out," Kodee replied.

"That I did. We have no place here."

"How about we take something we already did? That way, we'll be ahead of everyone."

"Kodee, my boy, you're a genius!"

She picked him up and twirled him in the air, squeezing him tight. Then, she put him down.

"The only question now is, what?" Autumn asked.

"ECE could be fun," Kodee replied.

"Yeah, that's true. It's been a long time since I've pursued that profession."

"Then let's do it."

Autumn put their student information into the computer, which had already been given by LOA. Then, she selected the major for both of them. A message popped up saying for them to check their student account within the next few days for a class schedule.

Autumn clapped her hands together. "Bam!" she exclaimed. "Now that that's done, we need to use this remaining time to its full potential."

"Yes," Kodee replied.

They sat on the bed and thought for a while.

"Let's go to Cream Puffs Jumpy Place!" Autumn exclaimed.

"Excellent idea," Kodee replied.

They flew to the play place and hung out there for hours. Then, they went on a walk in search of someplace to eat. They discovered a colorful restaurant called Funtime Spectrum that served mostly junkfood. They sat at a colorful booth by the window as sunlight shone down on the pale turquoise table. Crayons and paper were provided for entertainment as well was a ball pit and bounce house at the center of the restaurant.

A guy in a colorful uniform walked up to them.

"Hello, munchers!" he greeted. "What would you like to eat?"

Autumn and Kodee looked at their menus. All of the food looked delicious.

"I'll have the strawberry shortcake pie top with whipped cream along with a side of M&M's and a blueberry slushie," Autumn said.

"I'll have a bowl of chocolate and vanilla pudding with rainbowmist sprinkles on top and a lime soda to drink," Kodee replied.

"All of that sounds scrum-diddley-umptious," the waiter replied. "I'll bring that right to you."

He headed away.

"Dude, we should've found this place sooner," Autumn said.

"Maybe it's new," Kodee replied.

"Could be. I sure haven't heard of it."

The waiter returned soon with their food and beverages. They gobbled it up and it was indeed scrum-diddley-umptious. After that, they played in the ball pit and bounced in the bounce house.

Feeling super happy about this place, they headed off in search of more fun. They visited a water park and played there until nightfall. Then, they flew home and went to sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. Oh Josh. It was Sunday again. Many days had passed since Autumn and Kodee's last visit to church. Maybe they'd lost track of time or maybe Sunday had been skipped on the last few weeks in the calendar. Either way, it was time to get their worship on.

They went to the magical flying van where they were met by Latula, Terezi, Vriska, Roxy, and Nepeta. The gang was all here. Latula drove them to the Church of Joshua.

This church was huge with many rows of fine blue seats and a grand stage for the pastor to stand on. The team all sat together in a row.

The pastor walked on stage, which was projected onto the huge TV behind him. It was the head pastor, Sir Umbranix (Latin for Shadowsnow). He was the same anthromorphic pastor that Autumn and Kodee had seen before, only this time they were seeing him in person for the first time. He was rumored to be one of the seventy magic carrying descendents Jupifari, a great mythical figure in the Joshuan Bible.

"Greetings, children of the universe," he said. "Josh smiles brightly onto you."

Everyone cheered.

"Today is a very special day," Sir Umbranix said. "Does anyone know why?"

The audience was flabbergasted.

"Today is my nephew's birthday!" Sir Umbranix exclaimed.

Everyone in all of the churches around the nation sang the song "Happy Birthday" together. They didn't have to pay a fee because the song was no longer copyrighted. It had to do with the Great War of 2169.

"Now onward to our service," Sir Umbranix said. "We're going to use this day to talk about some of the recent events in Homestuck. With Omegapause, we have time to dive into everything that has unfolded. First off, the breach in space time involving the God Tiers…"

He went on about the vastness of space and how Homestuck brought about one of many armaggedons in the past. Something about Doctor Who was thrown in there.

"Psst…" Autumn said. "What happens after the events of the pause?"

"(W3'R3 NOT ALLOW3D TO R3V34L TH4T 1NFORM4T1ON TO YOU)," Terezi whispered.

There was no telling if Terezi or any of the other characters would actually survive the end of Homestuck. They were alive today, yes, but that was only because a long series of events that unfolded in the not so distant past. And by not so distant, I mean within the last century.

The ceremony was closed off with a prayer, and the members of LOA flew back to the HQ in their van. Autumn and Kodee went to their room and played against each other in Mario Kart. Then, they battled in Super Smash Bros. Terezi and Latula joined them later to compete.

At 7:30, Latula offered to take Autumn, Kodee and Terezi to a basketball game. They went together and watched teams compete. They rooted for the Arizona Javelinas. When the team scored, Latula as well as many other fans stood up to cheer. Autumn was gonna stand, too, but then she stopped to admire Latula's CHOICE ASS.

The Javelinas ended up winning the game!

The group drove back to the HQ and went to Autumn and Kodee's room. They were all hyped over the epic victory.

"y34h!" Latula cheered. "now for som3 c3l3br4tory lov3m4k1ng."

She grabbed Kodee and kissed him. Autumn went for Terezi. The two pairs began to do each other. Terezi was amazing with her tongue.

After that, Latula and Terezi went to their separate rooms. Autumn and Kodee fell asleep in each other's arms.

That night, Autumn dreamt that she discovered a beautiful island containing every species of animal on Earth. It was filled with tropical plants and it floated over the ocean. Vines hung down from the sides. She journeyed through the island, basking in its beautiful scenery.

Unfortunately, the dream, like all dreams, was interrupted by her waking up. She took some time to think about what she had seen. The floating island part reminded her of Leivreli. She'd never been there before, so there was a chance that it was tropical and filled with every animal. That sure would make college interesting. However, she'd be disappointed if the real Leivreli didn't have fast food restaurants and technology.

Kodee woke up soon after her, and she told him about the dream.

"Wow," he said. "That sounds beautiful."

"Indeed," Autumn replied.

"Just like you."

Autumn nuzzled his cheek.

The lovers ravaged through the food pile and watched on "Space Jam" on the bed as they ate. They reveled in every moment of it. Autumn imagined that she could become a basketball player and that she could be on a team with Latula. Together, they would be unstoppable. Too bad that their college didn't offer basketball. A girl could dream, though.

After the movie, Autumn and Kodee went to the lounge. They got on the treadmills and started running, feeling pumped from the movie. They challenged each other by seeing how high they could set the speed on. Autumn fell and flew backwards onto the floor, sliding freely across its smooth surface.

"woo hoo!" Latula cheered as she walked up to Autumn. "work 1t, g1rl."

Latula leapt onto the moving treadmill and turned up the speed. Her rocking boobs bounced as she ran, catching the attention of Kodee. He fell off his treadmill and slid over to where Autumn was. He'd been using the safety feature, which caused the treadmill to turn off without him on it.

"Yo," Autumn said.

From where they were, they admired dat sweet Latula ass. Dayum, that girl was fiiine.

Meanwhile…

Roxy was in her room working with science. Tequille O'Neal was almost ready to come out. She pressed a button on her lab desk, causing the fluid to drain out of the tube. Then, she opened a sliding door on the side of the test tube.

Tequille O'Neal took a few steps outside of his tube and shook off his raven black fur. Then, he opened his hot pink eyes. He was a purrfect replica of Rumzie.

"ohh, dis is just so perfect," Roxy said.

The placed Rumzie beside Tequille O'Neal. Then, she put a dark purple bowtie on Rumzie so that she could tell them apart. She squealed with delight, lifting Tequille O'Neal into the air.

"nepeta's going to love you," she said.

She carried Tequille down the hall to the next room and knocked on the door. Nepeta answered it.

":33 Hi, Roxy!" she greeted. "Aww, and little Rumzie, too. What a sw33t kitty."

"actually, this is tequille o'neal, a clone of rumzie. hes yours."

":33 R-really?"

Roxy nodded and held out Tequille. Nepeta took Tequille into her arms and twirled around in her room, squealing.

":33 Oh, Roxy, I love him!"

She placed Tequille on her giant cat bed and walked up to Roxy. She pulled Roxy in for a kiss.

":33 Thank you, my purrfect angel!" she said, hugging Roxy.

"anything for you, nepeta," Roxy replied.

They kissed again. So cute.

Back to the most important people…

Kodee and Autumn were checking online to see if their classes had been assigned yet. There was no schedule as of now, but that was okay because the message had told them it would be a few days. As in days with an s. Plural means plural.

The homies moved on to building their plushie castle out of pillows and blankets. The entire bed was the courtroom, where the king and queen were holding court. The queen was a periwinkle bear with white spots and the king was a penguin.

 **A green dragon carried a pink bunny into the courtroom. The bunny was on trial for stealing a carrot out of the king's cauldron.**

" **Of with his head!" the king shouted.**

" **Wait!" the bunny shouted. "I haven't even stated my case yet."**

 **The dragon carried the bunny out of the room. He was taken to the execution chamber and forced to wait along with all of the other saps who were in line to be hanged.**

 **Meanwhile, in the court, the queen had died. An autopsy report came back saying that the carrots were poisonous, helping the king to realize that the bunny had tried to save her. He ordered the bunny back into the courtroom.**

" **You," the king said, "State your name."**

" **Cottontail," the bunny replied.**

" **Peter Cottontail?"**

" **No, just Cottontail, sir."**

" **Very well. How did you know that the carrots were poisoned?"**

" **I'm able to smell it out."**

" **Interesting." The king tapped his beak with a strong flipper. "Well, our kingdom is in need of a new queen. How would you like to rule in her place?"**

" **Uhh, I'm not a girl."**

" **I don't really give a shit. Get up here."**

 **He clapped his flippers and his dragon assistant carried the dead queen away. Two guards lifted Cottontail onto her throne.**

" **I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with this," Cottontail replied.**

" **Too bad," the King replied. "My name is Glacier, by the way. You will rule by my side, and like the previous queen, you will pretty have no say on anything that goes on around here."**

 **That day, Cottontail was given his own room to sleep in for the time being. Until he had officially been crowned queen, he was not allowed to share a bedroom with Glacier.**

 **The next day, Cottontail's coronation ceremony took place. He was given a crown and put in a fancy dress. People fed him dishes of delicious food. After that, he sat side by side with Glacier in the courtroom.**

" **Congratulations on becoming a queen," Glacier said.**

" **Umm, thanks," Cottontail replied.**

 **A guard walked into the room.**

" **Any luck on finding the perpetrator?" King Glacier asked.**

" **No," the guard replied.**

" **Keep searching then!"**

 **The guard dashed out.**

 **It later turned out that the dragon was the one who had poisoned the carrots. He'd been attempting to steal the throne. The dragon was executed along with all of the other prisoners, and Cottontail and Glacier fell in love, causing Glacier's icy heart to thaw. They had a huge wedding and worked together to make the kingdom fun and happy for everyone. The end.**

The day was almost over by the time the tale had ended. Autumn and Kodee announced their majors at dinner, and pretty much everyone was shocked to find out that it wasn't Sexual Studies.


	10. Working the Night Shift

The lovers returned to their room with plans to troll someone online. They hacked the Skype system, allowing them access to all of the usernames in existence. They chose randomly from a list of people who were currently online. That person's username was EnthusiasmSubzero.

Autumn and Kodee were sharing an account called RainbowPixieFox. They sent EnthusiasmSubzero a contact request and, using their hacking skills, got the request to register as accepted. Also, their account was unblockable.

EnthusiasmSubzero's profile pic was a picture of an iceberg. RainbowPixieFox's was a rainbow fox. The pics showed up beside each message.

* * *

RPF: Hello my angel. It's the tooth fairy. I'm sorry I didn't give you money for your wisdom teeth.

ES: Who are you?

RPF: The tooth fairy, dumbass.

Whoops, sorry.

 **EnthusiasmSubzero tried to block RainbowPixieFox but failed**

RPF: You can't run from your destiny.

 **EnthusiasmSubzero signed out**

* * *

"That was lame," Autumn said.

"Yeah," Kodee said. "Let's go to sleep."

They went to sleep. The next morning, they went about their usual routine, which included breakfast and whatnot. Then, they went for a walk through the nearby city. They had fun at Chuck E Cheeses, ate lunch at Funtime Spectrum, and continued on their walk.

As they were on their stroll, they noticed a "HELP WANTED" sign outside of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Upon further inspection, they saw the tiny words "night guard" below that.

"Why would they need a night guard?" Autumn asked.

"Maybe because of burglary," Kodee replied.

It was an interesting case. Ever since the spirits of the children had been freed from the original animatronics, new ones had been made to recreate the first Five Night's at Freddy's game. Customers who showed up at night could pay to play against the animatronics, which were remote controlled by the staff. It was all meant to be pretend.

"I'm curious," Autumn said. "Let's look inside."

They went in and were greeted by the guy at the reception desk.

"Yo," Autumn said. "I see that you're in need of a new night guard."

"Yes," the reception guy replied. "Someone broke in at night and tampered with the animatronics. We need a guard to assure that it doesn't happen again."

"That sounds fun."

She looked to Kodee. He smiled.

"I want for both of us to work here," Autumn said.

"We only have enough money to pay one person," reception guy replied.

"That's okay. We'll both work for the price of one."

The reception guy smiled. "You have yourself a deal." He handed night guard badges to Autumn and Kodee. "Show up at 12:00AM. You'll work until 6:00AM for five nights."

They cheered and skipped out of the restaurant. They had gotten a job without having to go to an interview or sign a stupid contract! Hooray!

"So, do you think the animatronics were fixed after being tampered with?" Autumn asked.

"Probably not," Kodee replied.

"Awesome. We're going to die."

"Yay!"

They held hands and twirled around. Then, they skipped down the street. After a while, they flew back to their room and got on the computer.

* * *

RPF: Guess what? I got a job working at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza!

ES: You never gave me time to guess.

Also, you're doomed. Just thought you should know that.

RPF: Aww. You do care!

ES: No, I really don't. Everyone knows that place is a joke now. The animatronics aren't actually possessed.

I'm not sure why I'm even still talking to you. You're just a troll.

RPF: I'm a fox, Josh Dammit!

* * *

Exposition time! Autumn and Kodee were neither trolls nor foxes nor humans. They were actually…mimis! Mimis were magical shapeshifting creatures who never revealed their true forms to anyone but their own kind. Their true form, called mimi form, was small, pale silver, and furry with big, bright eyes. A halo floated over their heads that contained all of their powers, and it was only visible in mimi form.

End of the exposition.

"Can you even believe we have two jobs right now?" Autumn asked.

"Nope," Kodee replied.

* * *

ES: Yeah, yeah.

I'm not going to let you waste my time.

 **EnthusiasmSubzero signed out**

* * *

Well, this guy was boring. What was the point of trolling someone if the victim was going to act so blasé about it?

Autumn and Kodee spent the rest of the afternoon napping. They had a long night ahead, and it was necessary that they got the almost eight recommended hours of sleep. At dinner, they announced their new job to their teammates.

"Congratul8ions," Vriska said. "You 8oth just got a pointless job that will eat away a good portion of your summer."

"Aww," Autumn said. "You do care!"

"1 th1nk 1t's pr3tty r4d," Latula said. "1 pl4y3d th3 f1rst g4m3, so 1 know 4 b1t 4bout 1t. ok4y, 4 lot. th3y don't c4ll m3 g4m3r g1rl 4 noth1ng!"

"I've only watched YouTube Let's Plays, but I've seen enough to know the ins and outs of the game. Besides, all we've got to do is be on the lookout. The animatronics might not even be alive this time."

"l4m3…"

Autumn wasn't as pumped up for this temporary job as she'd hoped for. Her eyes were drooping, and didn't want to admit it, but, she'd been feeling a bit off the whole day. It seemed that she might be getting a cold. Good thing she had a partner at her side to make sure this didn't make the job impossible.

After dinner, Autumn and Kodee went back to bed and set their alarm clock for 11:30PM. They were reawakened that time by the song "The Middle". Autumn was feeling a bit better now after getting more sleep.

They flew to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, where the night guard heading out handed them the key. They went to the security room, which had a black and white checkered floor and grey walls with checkered patterns. One wall contained a TV screen and a poster. Beneath that was a long desk with a camera viewing panel, fan, and a phone.

The phone started ringing. Before either one of them could get to it, a message started playing.

"Hello, and welcome to your new job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza," said the voice of a new phone guy. "To conserve power, we ask you to go to the control room and shut off the main power supply. This will switch you over to the generator's power source, which is very limited. Using things such as doors and door lights will drain from this source. If the generator does happen to die on you, you'll have to go down to the basement and restart it. Good luck and we hope you enjoy your time as the night guard."

The message shut off. Autumn tapped the stage room on the camera panel, and that showed up on the TV screen. Bonnie, Freddy, and Chica were standing on stage. Purple, pink, and yellow spotlights shone on them.

"Alright, so we have to turn the main power off," Autumn said.

"Yes," Kodee replied.

They left the security room and headed down the hall, which had a blue and black checkered floor. The stage room was at the end of it, and it had a floor with blue and red checkered tiles. They saw the stage, which appeared just as it did on camera. Long tables with white cloth and colorful party hats filled the center of the room. To the left, there was a purple stage containing Foxy.

Autumn dashed onto the large stage in the back to get a closer look at the other animatronics. They looked just as they did in the first game, but they were clearly a lot newer. They were free of any decay, and their bodies looked like they were cleaned regularly by staff.

Kodee joined Autumn on stage.

"They're cute," he said.

He stuck his hand in Freddy's mouth. Nothing happened.

"Let's get this party started," Autumn said.

She walked into the control room and shut off the main power. Everything got dark. She dashed back onto the stage.

"We should take a picture to show our trolling victim," she said.

She pulled out her cell phone. She and Kodee situated themselves in front of the characters and she took the selfie. She sent it to EnthusiasmSubzero on Skype.

"Let's hightail it back to the security room," she said.

They dashed back to the room and looked on the camera. The characters hadn't moved at all. Kodee tapped the different rooms on the panel to see what each camera showed. When he got back to the cage, he saw that Bonnie had moved.

"Look," he said.

"Wowza!" Autumn exclaimed. "They really have been tampered with! Either that or our boss is playing a prank on us."

"Who is our boss?"

"I have no idea. I still don't even know who our LOA boss is. Latula, I guess."

"Yeah. She's the only higher authority who actually cares about us."

They looked back at the camera to see that Bonnie was gone. Autumn pressed the door light, but he wasn't outside. Kodee looked through the cameras.

"He's in the supply closet," he said. "That's near here."

Autumn slipped outside the door and glanced in the closet. The boy wasn't kidding. Autumn dashed back into the security room. She stayed by the door button in case she needed to push it rapidly.

"Chica's in the bathroom," Kodee said.

Autumn turned on the door light. Bonnie was right outside the window. She hit the door button to seal it. A few minutes later, Kodee had to shut the other door to keep Chica out.

At least with both doors closed, they felt a little safer. Kodee pressed Autumn against the table and made out with her. Then, they did the sex. By the time that was over, both animatronics were gone. The lovers reopened the doors.

"I found the power meter," Kodee said. "It's at 50%."

"That's okay I guess," Autumn replied. "We still have hours to go."

Standing around in this room was boring. They decided to wander around the restaurant. They went into the stage room and got on the table. Chica walked up to them.

"Hi Chica," Autumn said, "Whose name is Spanish for 'girl'."

Chica stared at them. Then, she made that terrible cry and grabbed Autumn off the table. Autumn shrieked.

"Don't worry," Kodee declared. "I'll save you!"

He leapt onto Chica and pounded on her head, causing her to let out the animatronic cry once more. She held on tight to Autumn.

"Let go of her!" Kodee shouted.

Autumn bit onto Chica's hard robotic arm. That did absolutely jack shit. Chica began to walk towards the control room, which was filled with empty animatronic heads. Autumn shapeshifted into a squirrel and wiggled free. She and Kodee dashed back into the control room.

"That was a close one," Autumn said as she morphed back into a human. "Thank you for trying to save me."

"You're welcome," Kodee replied.

They kissed. Pretty soon, their shift was over and they went back to the HQ. They met up with their homies in the dining room.

"how d1d 1t go?" Latula asked.

"I almost died," Autumn replied. "But otherwise, it was pretty fun."

"oh, so th3 4n1m4tron1cs 4r3 4l1v3 4g41n?"

"Looks like it."

"th4t sounds tot4lly r4d!"

After breakfast, Autumn and Kodee went to their room and got on the computer to check their schedule status for college. It had finally been uploaded!

 **Monday**

 **Film 11:00AM-11:50AM**

 **History 1:00PM-1:50PM**

 **ITEC 2:00PM-3:15PM**

 **Math 3:30PM-4:45PM**

 **Wednesday**

 **Film 11:00AM-11:50AM**

 **History 1:00PM-1:50PM**

 **ITEC 2:00PM-3:15PM**

 **Math 3:30PM-4:45PM**

 **Friday**

 **Film 11:00AM-11:50AM**

 **History 1:00PM-1:50PM**

Conflicting feelings. So many boring classes and yet they had two days off and one day was only a half day. So many conflicting feelings!

"Two of these classes are technological!" Autumn exclaimed. "I suck at technology!"

"I'm not actually very good at math," Kodee admitted.

"What even is this? This has nothing to do with Early Childhood Education!"

"Maybe there's been a mistake."

They double checked the schedule. ECE was listed below it as their major. It hadn't been a mistake. It had been the motherfucking opposite of a miracle! An anti-miracle!

"Well, at least we'll have those spare days," Kodee said. My optimistic prince.

"Yeah," Autumn replied.

"Also, all of our classes are the exact same."

"You're right, and that's what matters most. If they weren't, I probably would have died."

They hugged to celebrate Autumn not dying. Kodee probably would have died, too, if he had been kept apart from Autumn for too long. They needed each other to remain happy.

Later that day, they went to the Home Depot and bought two katanas. If they planned to keep up this job for the next four days, they would need a way to defend themselves. They also bought flashlights. Autumn's had a magenta light and Kodee's had teal.

Since their job was at night, they had to adjust to a more nocturnal schedule. They slept through the afternoon and woke up at 11:30PM to go to their job. Vriska was right. What a fabulous waste of time!

Autumn and Kodee stood on guard in the security room, their katanas raised defensively. They had already turned off the main power. Kodee tapped through the cameras. Bonnie was on the move.

Autumn turned played the song "Light Em' Up" on the CD player that they had brought with them to the HQ. This song was incredibly super epic, but it backfired by attracting the attention of the animatronics and causing them to become very active. They began to rush towards the door. Autumn closed one, but Bonnie entered through another. She and Kodee whacked and sliced at him with the katana, but that did little to help. They escaped through the side.

Dashing down the halls, they used the katanas to make their way through. "Light Em' Up" could still be heard clearly through the speakers. Freddy walked up to them.

"Are you ready for Freddy?" Autumn asked.

"Maybe," Kodee replied.

They flailed their katanas around like crazy, banging on Freddy but doing minimal damage. He walked away.

When they returned to the security room, it was empty. The song had stopped playing. Autumn and Kodee closed both doors.

"Okay, so music may have been a bad idea," Autumn said.

She switched the camera to the hallway. Foxy came dashing through and banged on the door, causing more power to drain. Then, he returned to Pirate Cove.

They were able to conserve enough power to last until 5:59. Then, everything went dark and the Toreador March began to play all creepy and whimsically.

"6:00AM," Autumn begged in a whisper.

Kodee held her hand. The clock went to 5:60. What the fuck. They could hear Freddy's fat feet clanking down the hall. The end was nigh.

The clock struck 6:00AM, causing the animatronics to return to their original positions. They had survived night 2! They turned on the main power and clocked out, returning to the HQ.

"The katanas didn't really work well," Autumn said at breakfast.

"YOU SHOULD G3T 4 M4CH1N3 GUN 4ND GO POW POW ON THOS3 4SSHOL3S," Terezi said.

"We'd get fired for sure."

She looked at Kodee. He shrugged.

"Okay, so maybe getting fired wouldn't be the worst thing in the world," Autumn said. Kodee nodded.

":33 I heard that it's a lot of fun there during the day," Nepeta said. "We should go then."

"ill take ya," Roxy said.

":33 Thank mew."

"Well, if you're going, we're going too," Autumn said.

"sure," Roxy said. "theres room 4 everyone."

That morning, everyone on Latula's team wound up going to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. It was a lot less scary during the day. Kids were running around and Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica were performing on stage. The lights were turned on, making everything visible. Foxy was currently out of order.

Vriska walked up to the characters performing on stage.

"This is it?" she asked. "They're not scary."

"Why don't you come in at night and we'll see who's scary?" Autumn offered.

"Fine. It'll be a perfect way to spend my time."

Nepeta danced out to the songs. Autumn, Kodee, Roxy, and Latula joined in. Terezi and Vriska ate pizza together.

"TH3 FOOD H3R3 ST1NKS," Terezi said.

"I agree," Vriska said. "Let's ditch these losers and grab a 8ite at Olive Garden."

"BUT 1SN'T TH4T WH3R3 HUSS13 L1V3S :?"

"I'm not worried a8out him right now."

They went to Olive Garden and got salads. Terezi filled hers up with many colorful fruits. At the table across from theirs, Hussie lowered his menu. His eyes were on Vriska.

"OH JOSH," Terezi said.

"Can't we eat in peace?" Vriska asked.

Hussie used the menu to hide his face. Occasionally, he would get a peek at Vriska from behind it.

"I h8 that guy," Vriska said.

"DON'T W3 4LL?" Terezi asked.

A tear fell from Hussie's face.

Enough. We don't care about these people (okay maybe a little)…

Autumn stood behind the stage and stared at Freddy. His lifeless eyes were fixated on the audience at the tables. For a moment, his eyes locked with hers and he did his creepy ghostly laugh. She backed away slowly.

This place was kind of getting boring, so she decided to find where Vriska and Terezi wandered off to. She left the pizzeria and looked in the windows of various places. She spotted them inside the Olive Garden. Upon entering, she saw the big man himself- Andrew Hussie.

"Hussie!" Autumn exclaimed, dashing up to him. She pulled out a notebook and a pen. "May I have your autograph?"

"Don't encourage him!" Vriska shouted.

Autumn handed him the notebook and he wrote his signature on it. She walked up to Vriska and waved it in her face. Then, she walked back up to Hussie and took a selfie with him.

"Woo hoo!" Autumn cheered.

Kodee walked inside of the Olive Garden. "Why did you run o- Oh my Josh; it's Hussie!"

He ran up to Hussie and gave him a hug. The poor man just couldn't get a break.

"Sup," Hussie said.

Autumn gasped. Her lord had spoken.

"Sup," Kodee replied, waving his hand shyly.

Autumn was speechless.

Vriska and Terezi had finished eating their lunch, so they got up to leave. Hussie eyed Vriska as she walked out. Autumn wondered that since Vriska and Terezi were dating, Terezi was Hussie's sworn rival. Probably.

"How would you like to get with a real man?" Kodee asked.

Hussie raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, you sly dog," Autumn said. "We're not going to date the author of Homestuck."

Autumn pushed him outside of the restaurant. They returned to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Terezi and Vriska were there.

They team hung out there for a while longer before returning to the HQ. Autumn and Kodee went to bed and fell asleep.

At 11:300PM, the alarm clock woke them up. They went into the halls and looked around. No sign of Vriska.

"Do you think she still wants to come with us?" Autumn asked.

"Sure," Kodee replied.

They teleported into Vriska's room. She was sleeping.

"Aww," Autumn said. "She looks so cute."

Vriska opened one eye and leapt at Autumn, tackling her to the floor. She pulled out a blade.

"Whoa there," Autumn said, holding Vriska's arm. "We were wondering if you wanted to come work the night shift with us."

"At the stupid pizza place?" Vriska asked.

"Yeah-huh."

"Hmm, let me think… No."

"Please."

"No."

"Pleaaase."

Autumn made puppy dog eyes. Vriska rolled her eyes.

"I might as well," Vriska said.

"Yippee!" Autumn cheered.

Autumn let go of Vriska and Vriska got off her. When they got outside the HQ, Vriska headed towards the garage. Little did she know, they weren't taking the van. They were going to fly like a bunch of majestic fucking eagles!

Autumn and Kodee each grabbed one of Vriska's arms. They soared high into the sky, causing Vriska to shriek.

"Let go of me!" she shouted.

"Sure, okay," Autumn said.

"But Autumn," Kodee replied.

Autumn let go of Vriska. Vriska slipped out of Kodee's hand and took the plummet. She switched into her God Tier form and flew up to them.

"See?" Autumn asked. "She's just fine."

Vriska punched Autumn in the face. They made their journey to the restaurant and switched off the main power. They rushed back into the security room. Autumn tapped a box on the viewing panel to bring up the stage room on the camera. No one had moved from the stage.

"This isn't at all scary," Vriska said.

"Just you wait," Autumn replied.

Five minutes passed.

"I'm done w8ing," Vriska said. "It's 8oring just standing around here in this stuffy security room."

She headed out through the right door.

"Vriska, no!" Autumn exclaimed.

"Vriska, yes," Vriska replied.

Vriska walked down the hall and into the stage room. Chica and Bonnie were moving around. Bonnie reached for her, but she punched his arm away. As Chica got closer, she drew her sword. She swung and fought off the two animatronics, sending them backwards only for them to come back towards her. Then, Freddy showed up and they all managed to carry her away.

Just as they left into the control room, Autumn dashed into the stage room from the halls. Kodee was still keeping a lookout through the camera.

Autumn decided that she would save this damsel in distress. She pulled out a bottle of Mountain Dew and guzzled it down. It had an effect on her similar to Popeye and spinach, thus giving her super strength. The Popeye music played in the background.

Getting drunk, gaining strength, being fabulous. Was there anything Mountain Dew couldn't do? Well, it couldn't give her wings. That's what Red Bull was for.

In the control room, the animatronics tied Vriska to a chair. Freddy held up an empty Freddy head, causing her to laugh. Then, he turned it around, revealing the sharp wires. She shrieked.

Autumn dashed into the room and kicked some ass. She punched animatronics, sending them toppling onto the floor. Foxy dived for her, but she punched him in the jaw just in time to send him flying into the wall. She untied Vriska and dashed back to the room with her in her arms. Kodee closed both doors.

Autumn put Vriska down and pulled her in for a kiss. This kiss was not so hate filled. When they parted, Vriska looked longingly into Autumn's eyes. Autumn was thinking _Hell to the no_ , but she simply smiled as a means of false reconciliation. They began to make out gently and passionately. Meanwhile, Kodee leaned against the wall and ate from a bucket of popcorn as he watched the scene unfold.

After that, they kept watch through the cameras. By 4:00, they had lost power.

"There's no way we'll make it," Autumn whispered.

"Someone needs to restart the generator," Kodee replied.

The three of them looked at one another.

"I'll do it," he said.

He left, leaving Autumn and Vriska alone.

"Those were some pretty impressive fighting skills you showed earlier," Vriska said.

"Yeah," Autumn replied. "Thanks." The compliment was causing her to blush. She held Vriska's hand.

Vriska was having conflicting feelings. This was the girl she had hated for a long time. And yet, Autumn saved her in spite of all of the past drama- even after Vriska tried to kill her. She wondered if Autumn really did like her.

Ha, nope.

Autumn pulled her into a kiss. At last, she was the manipulator. This put her on the pedestal of possibly being the biggest bitch on this team, but in secret. A mischievously bitchy bitch.

The generator power cut back on. Kodee dashed into the room and closed the door, just in time to avoid getting caught by Foxy.

The rest of the night, or rather, morning, went smoothly. Pretty soon, it was 6:00, and they were allowed to leave. They flew back to the HQ together, with Vriska using her God Tier form to travel. When they arrived, Vriska switched back to her regular form.

After breakfast, Kodee and Autumn pestered EnthusiasmSubzero some more. This guy just wasn't going to show any enthusiasm. Truly pathetic. They decided they weren't going to even try with him anymore.

Remember kids, if you ignore the trolls, they'll go away. Most of the time.

Next, the lovers went into the lounge and watched "My Neighbor Totoro". They fell asleep on the couch.

That's boring. Moving on…

Terezi and Vriska were engaged in some FLARP. Now we're talking! They were each wielding a sword in girl on girl combat. Terezi swung hers at Vriska, but Vriska blocked it with their own. Metal clinged until Vriska's sword was knocked out of her hand.

That intense roleplaying made them tired. They laid back in Terezi's bed.

"YOU S33M 4 B1T OFF," Terezi said. "1S SOM3TH1NG BUGG1NG YOU?"

"Well," Vriska said. "It's Autumn. I think she has red feelings for me."

"1 WOULDN'T WORRY TOO MUCH 4BOUT TH4T. SH3 ONLY C4R3S FOR ON3 P3RSON, 4ND TH4T'S KOD33."

"I guess you're right. What was I thinking?"

"YOU W3R3N'T TH1NK1NG. NOW HOW 4BOUT YOU FOCUS YOUR R3DROM 4TT3NT1ON OV3R TO M3?"

Terezi wasn't gonna have some hot chick come and steal her girl. She and Vriska got down to some serious lovemaking. They even used the rainbow dildo. Merry Christmas.

Meanwhile…

Latula was in her room playing some Tony Hawk on her Playstation. She was doing some rad flips and grinding rails like there was no tomorrow. Only there was a tomorrow.

A message popped up on her computer, getting her attention for about a second. She continued to go at it on her skateboarding game. At certain points, she would manage the controller and one hand and masturbate with the other. Such a pro.

After a few hours, she had to call it quits. Even r4d g4m3r grlz like herself had to rest every once in a while. She got on the computer to see what the deal was. There was a message from her superiors.

All students attending Leivreli out of state must bring all of their belongings with them to Open House on August 11, 2015 in order to move in. Anyone who doesn't do this will be removed from LOA.

That was in less than a week! Latula bit her lip. Why must her superiors spoil all of the fun?

Back to our main homies…

They woke up just in time for dinner. At the table, Latula made the announcement to everyone that their team would be out of here by August 11th. Following the meal, Autumn and Kodee went to their room and ate Hot Cheetos from the food hoarde without anything to drink.

"Won't be long now before we have to say goodbye to this place," Autumn said.

"I'm going to miss it," Kodee replied.

"Me too."

They flew to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza for their forth day on the job. At last, they were nearing the end of this shitfest. Never again would they work a part time job. Okay, perhaps they would, but not in the near future!

The lights were off. Kodee monitored the cameras while Autumn stayed on guard by the left door. More homies tended to come in through that side.

Two hours into their night, Kodee got a call from Mindfang. He answered the phone.

"Hey there :::;)," Mindfang said.

"Hi," Kodee replied.

"Get on over here. Otherwise, you're dead."

Kodee sighed. "Fiiine."

He hung up.

"I've gotta go," he said. "Will you be alright without me?"

"Sure," Autumn replied.

Kodee flew out of the place, leaving Autumn to stand guard. She kept her eye on the cameras, switching back to the stage frequently. No one was moving.

Ten minutes passed. Still nothing. All Autumn could think about was the kinky stuff that was probably going down between Kodee and Mindfang. She so wanted in on the action.

"Do it!" shouted the voice of Shia LaBeouf shouted in Autumn's head. "JUST DO IT!"

 _But I have to work_ , Autumn thought.

"Don't let your dreams be dreams!"

Autumn flew to Mindfang's house to check up on Kodee. They were in her room. Kodee was laying on the bed and Mindfang was getting ready to take off her clothes.

Autumn quickly removed her clothes. She tried to whistle, but couldn't. Instead, she put her hands on her hips and said, "Heeey, Mindfang."

Mindfang turned around. She smirked at the sight of Autumn.

"Why hello there," she said. "I figured that you would show up."

Autumn wagged her eyebrows. Mindfang stood in front of Autumn and unbuttoned her coat. The coat fell to the floor along with Mindfang's bra. Mindfang pressed Autumn's head into her chest and made her suck. Then, she shoved Autumn onto the bed and handcuffed her as well.

She walked over to a shelf that was lined with various sizes and shapes of dildos. She pulled one off that was long and cerulean. The sides of it had smooth bumps.

She positioned Autumn onto her belly and held her sides. She slapped Autumn's ass and buried the device deep within her. Autumn moaned and clawed at the sheets. Mindfang thrusted it in and out of her, varying in speed each time. She looked at Kodee and made a motion with her finger. He took her from behind as she continued to work on Autumn.

They went at it for a good ten minutes before collapsing on one another in a pile. Mindfang took the dildo out and threw it behind her. It hit Kodee in the face before tumbling onto the floor.

"You 8oth did very well," Mindfang said.

Autumn and Kodee smiled.

"I'll see you soon," Mindfang said.

"Actually," Autumn said, her expression turning to sadness, "Kodee and I have to go to Leivreli in less than a week. We won't be able to visit, then."

"Alright… Well, it's 8een nice fucking you."

Autumn nodded. She kissed two fingers and raised them into the air like in the Hunger Games. Kodee did the same.

After that, they flew back to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. They looked on the camera in the security room. No one was on the stage. They flipped through cameras but couldn't find Freddy, Chica, or Bonnie.

"What if they're in the room with us?" Autumn asked.

They looked around the room, checking under the table and around the doors. Nothing.

The only animatronic they could find on the cameras was Foxy, and he was leaving the stage. However, it looked like he was headed in the opposite direction of the security room, which never happened.

They decided to sneak behind Foxy to see where he would go. He headed past the stage room and walked right out of the restaurant.

"Where does he think he's going?" Autumn inquired.

"I'm not sure," Kodee replied. "But maybe he will lead us to the others."

They continued to follow Foxy. He headed casually down the street, not attempting to go after any of the passerby humans as if they were empty endoskeletons. Hmm, suspicious.

Foxy took them to a large, buisinessy building that was super tall and covered in windows. The inside was bright and golden. Foxy got into the elevator, and Autumn and Kodee turned invisible so that they could get in there with him. They went to the top floor and walked down a hall into a large room with a long, class table and business chairs. The rest of the animatronics were standing around a man with an eye patch. Foxy stopped in front of him.

"Excellent work," the eye patch man said.

A midget with a remote control stepped out of the shadows. "Meh-heh-heh," he said. "These robots will do anything I tell them to."

"I see. But, will your invention work on life?"

The midget tapped his chin. "I don't see why not."

"Excellent. Soon, everyone in the city will be under our control. And then, the world! Mwahahaha!"

"Meh-heh-heh!"

Autumn and Kodee fled the scene and ran into an empty restroom. They hid in the handicap stall and became visible again.

"We're so fired," Autumn said.

"I don't see how mind control that works on robots could also work on humans," Kodee said.

"Yeah, good point, but still. We're doomed! Who knows what they could use the robots for? Besides, if something happens, it will be our fault."

"Then let's not allow anything to happen."

"Huh?"

Kodee stood tall and put one foot on the toilet seat to raise himself up like a majestic stallion. "Our superiors want to throw us out of the HQ because we have yet to continue proving ourselves. Now's our chance! A chance to be the heroes. A chance to fight against the bad guys and live up to what our League of Awesome stands for."

"Yeah! Awesomeness!"

"Are you ready to kick some ass?"

"YEAH!"

They charged out of the bathroom and into the other room. No one was there. They walked onto the balcony and looked up. The eye patch man, midget, and animatronics were standing on the roof.

"Go forth, my puppets!" Eye Patch Man shouted.

The animatronics jumped off the roof and made a perfect landing on the ground below. Good thing, too, because they would have costed hundreds of Goober Dollars to replace. They crawled along the ground like creepy aliens and began to target civilians.

"You save the civilians; I'll take the Eye Patch Man," Autumn said.

"What about the midget?" Kodee asked.

"Don't worry about the midget."

Kodee leapt to the ground. Chica was walking towards an unsuspecting woman. Kodee leapt onto Chica's back and banged on her head.

Autumn climbed the metal ladder along the wall to get to the roof. Eye Patch Man looked at her.

"Vat are you doing here?" he asked.

"I plan to stop you," Autumn replied.

The Eye Patch Man pointed to her and shouted, "Attack!"

The midget bared his fangs and ran towards her, a growl rumbling in his throat. He knocked Autumn over, bringing her close to the edge of the roof. She looked down and saw cars below.

She punched the midget off of her and got up. She made some distance between them and whirled around, her fingers bent like claws. The midget opened his mouth and gave a mighty tiger growl. Autumn roared like an angry puma. They locked hands, and Autumn picked the midget up, spun around with him, and flung him into Eye Patch Man. The man dropped the controller and Autumn crushed it under her sexy high heel shoe.

Eye Patch Man made a run for it. She cornered him at the edge of the roof.

"This is madness," Eye Patch Man said.

"THIS IS SPARTA!" Autumn replied.

She kicked him off the roof, sending him plummeting downwards. She picked up the midget and flew to the bottom of the building with her. Eye Patch Man was laying on the concrete alive and police cars were arriving on the scene.

A newscaster walked up to Autumn with a microphone.

"You just caught the notorious Dusk Apparatus," he said. "What do you have to say to the viewers at home?"

"That I'm awesome?" Autumn replied.

"Good, good. Anything else?"

"Don't forget to smoke weed and turn in your homework. Also, use contraceptives!"

The news reporter nodded.

Kodee and the animatronics walked up to her.

"Hello!" Kodee exclaimed. He looked into the camera. His beautiful blue eyes were the world's to see.

"The animatronics seem to be following you now," Autumn said.

"Without a device to control them, they respond to voices now," Kodee replied.

Dusk Apparatus and his midget sidekick were thrown into the back of a police car. Autumn and Kodee took the animatronics back to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza and returned them to their proper places. When they reached the security room, the phone started ringing. Autumn answered it.

"Hello there," said a random phone guy. "I heard about your accomplishment on the news. Ha, looks like the animatronics are back to normal and the ones responsible are being put behind bars. Seems that we won't need night guards anymore. However, you'll still get the full paycheck, and you'll get to leave early. I'll fax you the money."

120 Goober Dollars were faxed out of the machine beside the phone.

"Thank you," Autumn said.

"You're welcome. Stay awesome!"

Phone guy hung up. Autumn picked up the wad of cash in her hand and stroked it. Kodee placed his nose close to it and took a big whiff.

"Hey, I've got an idea," Autumn said. "Let's tell that dumb superior that we did something for LOA!"

"Yeah," Kodee said. "But shouldn't we tell Latula first?"

"Neh. I want it to be a surprise. Just imagine the look of happiness on her face when she learns that we don't have to leave for college."

Kodee put his hand on Autumn's shoulder. They left the restaurant and flew back to the HQ. The meeting room was big and empty. Only a few lights were on. Autumn hit a button on the glass table to call the superior. The same one Latula had spoken to appeared on the screen as a silhouette hidden in shadow.

"Hey there," Autumn said.

"I don't appreciate you calling me at this hour," the superior replied.

"Sorry… Did I wake you?"

"No. I was tuning into the news."

Neither Autumn nor Kodee could see it, but the superior narrowed xyr eyes.

As you can see, we still haven't identified the gender of the superior yet. Maybe xe's a transie, or maybe "xe" just sounds cool and mysterious. Either way, that's the pronoun we're going with.

"You're not one of the leaders," the superior said. "In fact, you were on the news. Names Autumn Rose and Kodee with no identifiable last name."

Ooo, now it was xem that was dropping the mystery bomb!

"I'm glad that you saw that," Autumn said. "Because our accomplishment was enough to prove that we're useful members of LOA and don't need to be sent to college."

"Whoa," the superior said. "I'm going to stop you right there. One night of luck isn't enough to prove anything. In fact, bragging about it and coming to me before reporting to your leader has only proven your incompetence."

"Why I oughtta! I have a few choice words for you."

"Go ahead and fire."

Autumn unleashed the wave of words as she wagged her finger at the screen. "You unappreciative fuckass bitch hoe bastard stupid moronic cocksucking dipshit hooligan!"

"Whoa!" Kodee shouted, pushing Autumn's arm down.

"Attend the college, or you're off the team," the superior said. "It's as simple as that."

The screen went blank. Autumn growled, clenching her fists. Kodee carried her into the lounge, where she took out her rage on a punching bag. Then, they went back to their room and fell asleep.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Homestuck or Five Nights at Freddy's! Also, the phone message was based around the ones from Garry's Mod, which I also don't own!


	11. Raving Intensifies

The next morning, they joined the others for breakfast. There was Latula, the raddest, baddest gamer girl in town. Or rather, the HQ.

"sup guyz!" she exclaimed at the sight of the two lovers. "1 h34rd 4bout your stunt on the newz. tot4lly b4d4ss!"

"Thanks, Radtula," Autumn replied, sighing.

"why do y4 look so down?"

"Well, I thought that this would get us out of the college program, but…your superior said that it didn't do any good."

"sup3r1or? how com3 you w3nt to x3m b3f4 m3?"

"I wanted to surprise you. I wanted to come in and say, 'Hey Latula, guess what? I just got our team off the hook!' I guess not…"

"4ww, don't b3 ups3t. you d1d your b3st. 1t w4z 4 tot4lly r4d pl4n, 1n f4ct. try1ng to prov3 our worth1n3ss onc3 mor3? cl4ss1c."

"You know, we'd 8e a lot more useful if our team got assigned missions more often," Vriska said.

"y34h, you'r3 r1ght. 1t's not l1k3 w3 1gnor3 cr13s 4 h3lp."

"Our superiors are just assholes," Autumn said.

Everyone else nodded.

After breakfast, Autumn and Kodee went back to their room to watch some Blue's Clue's. That man Steve could never find the freaking clues he needed, even when they were in plain sight. It was up to a bunch of toddlers and some weird ass adults to help him.

After the episode was over…

"Autumn?" Kodee asked.

"Yes?" Autumn replied.

"I know of something fun we can do before we go off to college, but you'll have to follow me."

"I'll follow you anywhere."

She took his hand and he flew her far across the sky. The sun shone down on them and they had an incredible view from above. They landed inside a field of yellow flowers. There was nothing else around except for the pine trees lining the far edges of the meadow and the rocky mountains beyond.

"Where are we?" Autumn asked.

"Doesn't matter," Kodee replied.

They kissed. To quench the curiosity, I reveal that it's in the deep reaches of Yellowstone National Park. But Kodee was right- that didn't matter. What matters was that they were together.

The lovers dashed around through the meadow, chasing one another and skipping with glee. The song "Rocky Mountain High" played in the background. They collapsed in the flowers together and kissed.

"I love you," Autumn said.

"I love you, too," Kodee replied.

They held each other tight.

 _It's while they enjoy this moment together that we take a chance to dive into Autumn's tragic backstory. It dates back to her birth, when the great vast reaches of existence chose her and Kodee to be eternally bound as soulmates. Kodee was to be born from his mimi parents and Autumn was to be his spirit sister, spawned from a crystal that Kodee touched._

 _However, something went wrong. At birth, Kodee and the crystal were separated. The crystal wound up somewhere at sea, travelling for days until it wound up in the cave of the great lizard Huefire. Kodee touched the crystal in his dreams, causing Autumn to awaken from it. She was taken in by Huefire, and soon after, Huefire gave birth to three offspring. She lived in a cave for the first four years of her life like a loser hermit. Huefire was a good mother to her, and her mate, though he rarely appeared, was a good father. Autumn's real parents struggled to find them because the cave was hidden in a mysterious part of the realm._

 _Her real parents did arrive, however. Huefire was sad to let Autumn go, but she did anyway. Autumn and Kodee saw each other physically for the first time, and they knew from that moment that they were destined to be together, though they'd already known deep down for a long time. Their mother, Athena, and their father, Lucky, took them back to their home where they started their first years of school._

The reason this was tragic was because Autumn and Kodee were separated at birth. Surely, someone had to be responsible for the crystal's mysterious relocation. What kind of monster would do such a thing? I guarantee that it would have to be the lowest form of douchebag imaginable. Probably one those people you'd try to avoid on the street. Then again, any sane person would avoid Autumn and Kodee on the street.

Anyway, we cut back to Autumn and Kodee being all cute and playful in the grass. They were surrounded by nature. There were no Xboxes around, though they kind of wished there were.

It was seemingly time to go back to the HQ. Or was it?

Kodee flew Autumn over to another part of the park. It was beneath a tree by a river. He made a picnic basket appear and opened it. It was filled with tubs of Ben and Jerry's ice cream! They sat on a checkered picnic blanket and ate it.

After that, Kodee took her to a lovely cottage along the side of the woods. They went inside. The walls and floors were wooden, and there was a kitchen lining the living room. A small hallway led into the master bedroom, which had a cream colored bed with rose petals on it.

Kodee got dressed and leapt onto the bed with a rose in his mouth. He looked super sly and sexy. Autumn removed her clothes as well, causing him to get an erection. She laid down beside him and made out with him. Then, she pushed herself onto him, causing the tipoff his member to go into her. He sat up and got to his knees, holding onto her by her sides. He pushed her down, causing her to be penetrated. She pressed her feet onto the bed and thrusted herself up and down. Kodee held onto her to help her. He came inside her, filling her up with his love.

Autumn got off of him and rolled onto her back. She twisted around like a cat, letting all of his juices sink into her rather than spill out. Kodee grabbed onto her and entered her a second time, thrusting in and out quickly. In the middle of it, he kissed her passionately. Then, he came once more. Autumn grabbed onto his thighs as he poured himself into her. So wonderful.

They laid side by side panting. Autumn placed her hand beside him and he held it. He sat up and smiled at her. Then, he went to the drawer by the bed and pulled out a folded blanket with a bow tied around it. After Autumn sat up to have a better look, he handed it to her.

"For you," he said.

She untied the bow and unfolded it. It was big and soft and had a pale rainbow flowing design. She brought it to her nose and sniffed it. It was sweet smelling, just like the one she'd had as a child when she first came to live with him.

"Thank you!" she said.

She pulled him in for a tight hug. Then, she kissed him. She brought the blanket back to her nose and sniffed it. It was as if each color was giving off its own sweet fruity smell. Kodee wrapped one end around himself and sniffed it, too.

"We've gotta share," he said.

"Of course," Autumn replied.

They spent some time sniffing and cuddling. They were still naked, so it felt extra snuggly pressed against them.

They went to the living room with the blanket and still no clothes, because why not. They sat on the couch and watched Barney's Adventure Bus. During the movie, Kodee got ice cream sandwiches out of the freezer and shared them with Autumn.

After it was over, they went back to the bedroom.

"Kodee?" Autumn asked.

"Yes?" Kodee replied.

"I've been thinking about college."

"Not too hard, I hope."

"Naw, just a little. I've pretty much already decided what I want to do."

Kodee tilted his head. "And that is?"

"Be a better student. I know I'm a lazy samurai and all, and I plan to stay that way when I can, but I wanna do good this time. Back in elementary school, I was one of the smartest kids in class. Then, after that, I slacked off and was just average. Being average is like being a loser."

"No, it's not," Kodee replied. "I think it's most important just to be happy."

"I suppose so, but…I still wanna try."

"Okay. Just don't bum yourself out."

"It's a deal."

"Since you plan to do your best, I will as well."

Autumn smiled. "Alright."

They kissed.

Then, they went outside and frolicked through the meadow. The sun was beginning to set, making everything extra beautiful. They dived into a river and swam around for hours.

When it got really dark, they laid on their backs and gazed up at the stars. All they could think about at the moment was each other, and how they were blessed to have that. Autumn stroked Kodee's member. He rolled onto her and made sweet love to her.

After that, they relaxed some more under the stars and went back to the cottage for dinner. Kodee cooked Kraft mac and cheese. They ate it as they watched Hercules.

Then, they went to bed and snuggled up under the warm covers. They fell asleep quickly off of their content thoughts and full bellies.

The next morning, they walked outside with their blanket to sit by the river. Then, Kodee made pancakes and they ate as they watched Dogs 101 on Animal Planet. The Animal Planet in this world actually focused on animals and not lame-o people.

After the episode, the lovers got dressed and flew back to the HQ. Latula greeted them in the hallway.

"th3r3 you guyz 4r3," she said. "1'v3 b33n look1ng 3v3rywh3r3 4 you."

"Sorry about that," Autumn said.

"s'f1n3. com3 w1th m3. 1 n3v3r got 4 ch4nc3 to prop3rly th4nk you 4 wh4t you d1d."

Kodee and Autumn followed Latula into her room. She removed everything except for a black bra and panties. Autumn got behind her and took off her panties. Kodee removed her bra. He pressed his face into her breast and began to suck, causing her to moan softly. Autumn wrapped her arms around Latula's waist and kissed her neck.

"h3y now guyz; 1t's m3 who's r3p4y1ng you," she said.

She turned and rolled Autumn onto her back. She slid Autumn to the back of the bed so that her head was resting on the soft, rad pillows. She pulled Autumn's pants down and tossed them off to the side. Then, she grabbed Autumn's panties between her teeth and tossed them to the side as well. She stuck her tongue inside of Autumn and began to pleasure her. Kodee took off his clothes and took Latula from behind.

After their threegasm, Autumn took Latula and turned her around so that she was halfway hanging off the side of the bed. She got on top of Latula and pressed her underside against her. She made out with Latula and her movements got rougher. Kodee took Autumn from behind this time, putting her in the middle. Occasionally, he would thrust into Latula, causing her to cry out. Autumn stuck two fingers inside of Latula so that she could keep feeling pleasure.

After they climaxed once more, they all got dressed.

"st4y tun3d," Radtula said. "1'v3 got 4n 4nnounc3m3nt 2 m4k3."

She walked down the hall banging on a pot with a wooden spoon.

"4TT3NT1ON!" she shouted. "m33t1ng 1n th3 loung3!"

Everyone shuffled out of their rooms and into the lounge. Latula stood in front of them while they stayed seated on the couch.

"w3 h4v3 to l34v3 1n 2 d4yz," Latula said. "tomorrow 1s wh3n w3'll n33d 2 p4ck, wh1ch 1s why tod4y, w3 should 4ll do som3th1ng fun tog3th3r."

The teammates were looking excited. She smiled.

"1 s4y w3 4ll h34d on down to Wh1t3 W4t3rs!"

The team cheered. Woo HOOOOooooooOOOO!

They all got into the magic flying van and Latula drove them to White Waters. They were all wearing the same swimsuits that they wore in the beach episode.

As they strutted into the water park, heads were turning. Indeed, they all looked super sexy. Totally fuckable.

For the first hour, everyone stuck together. They rode on a kite ride that flung them into the water, went on a rapid dropping tunnel slide, and played in water bumper cars. They also went on a bunch of other rides that were water related.

At the lazy river, they all kinda started to do their own thing. Nepeta lost her bikini top and Kodee found it. He swam back to her with it. She was covering herself with her arms.

":33 Thanks, Kod33," she said.

As she reached out for it, a boob was revealed. Kodee cupped it to hide it. Nepeta blushed olive.

";33 ;33." That was the face she made.

There was like a secret area in the middle of the lazy river that Kodee took her to. It was hidden from watchful eyes and shaded in dark blue. Nepeta kissed him. Kodee put a hand over her other boob and squeezed, causing her to mew. He removed the bottom of her bikini and slid into her. He thrusted in and out of her until they had their meowgasm. She rubbed up against him, claiming him for the day.

They both got their swimsuits back on and returned to the lazy river. Kids were playing here. Kodee and Nepeta made out at the edge of the pool. Purr.

Vriska swam up to Kodee and pushed Nepeta away. She made out with Kodee instead. Nepeta fought back and they got into a battle over who could have Kodee. Autumn was spying on them from behind the fountain in the center of the lazy river.

To settle the anger between the quarreling girls, Kodee had them make out with each other. Such a ladies' man.

Well done, Kodee. He had scored himself two bitches today. He walked with them over to one of the tall water slides. Kodee got between his ladies and they all slid down together. Then, they went back up so that they could do it one at a time. Nepeta slid down first, followed by Kodee. They stood at the bottom, watching for Vriska.

Autumn walked up to them.

"What are you looking at, Kodee?" she asked.

"I was just watching kids come down the slide," Kodee said. "I wanted to make sure that got down safely."

"Kids, huh? So, you wanna watch a bitch come down the slide? Imma show you how a bitch come down the slide."

Vriska slid down the slide and came to a stop at the end. By this time, Autumn was already making her way to the top of it. Vriska spotted her from below.

"What's that?" she asked.

"It's Autumn!" Kodee exclaimed.

Autumn swayed her finger sassily. "Imma show you how a bitch go down the slide." She leapt onto the slide and flew down head first. "I'm sliding, bitchez!"

Here it comes! The wooden fence. She flew off the slide, but instead of crashing through the fence, she crashed into it. It was one of those awkward moments in history where she wished that she actually was Rasputia.

"Almost had it," Kodee said.

Autumn sat up and rubbed her head.

"We have a two 8itch limit," Vriska said.

"Kodee can have all of the bitches he wants!" Autumn shouted.

Random mothers covered their kids' ears. Lol, losers.

Kodee was now up to three bitches. Now, if he could just stay at that number, he'd have himself a foursome. Was the bed even big enough to hold this much awesomeness? Hellz yeah, it was. No way Autumn and Kodee were gonna sleep in a bed too small for a foursome.

Kodee took his girls to a food stand and bought them cotton candy. Mmm, cotton candy. It was also the name of one of Autumn's Homestuck ships.

They omnomnomed it away and proceeded to go on a bunch of other rides. At sunset, everyone met up and flew back to the HQ. Vriska, Nepeta, Autumn, and Kodee went to Autumn and Kodee's room together. The girls laid on top of the bed, still dressed in their bikinis. Kodee took his speedo off, revealing his hardon. He made out with Autumn while the other girls licked and stroked his member. Vriska wrapped her mouth around the tip and sucked. Nepeta ran her tongue along the side.

Kodee pushed Vriska onto her back and removed her bikini. He slid inside of her and began to pleasure her. Nepeta continued to lick. Autumn got undressed and brought herself to Kodee to be orally pleasured. His sweet mouth was so sweet. Autumn dripped onto Vriska as she climaxed. She moved away to let Kodee lick it up. He came inside of Vriska just as she climaxed.

Now for sweet Nepeta. He bent her over the side of the bed and penetrated her from behind. She mewed and moaned. Meanwhile, Autumn and Vriska got into the 69 position to lick up one another's juices.

Autumn turned around and continued to pleasure Vriska. Kodee took Autumn from behind and Nepeta lowered herself onto Vriska's face. At last, the fourgasm was complete.

Vriska and Nepeta left to get their PJ's on. Autumn and Kodee got in their PJ's.

"Wow, three girls at once," Autumn said.

Kodee giggled. "I enjoyed being inside of you the most."

"Purr."

Everyone on the team sat at the dining table together to eat dinner.

"u guyz look wrecked," Roxy said.

Ah, yes. Nepeta, Vriska, Autumn, and Kodee all had the sex hair. Messy, wild, and delicious.

":33 We were having a little fun," Nepeta said.

"aww, and u didn't invite me?" Roxy replied, winking.

";33 There will be plenty fur you tonight."

The team ate yellow rice and Mountain Dew. For dessert, they had Little Debbie fancy cakes. The white cream filling them reminded them of Kodee's cum.

After that, they all went to bed and hit snoozetown.

Vriska woke up in the middle of the night. Maybe it was because she was a creepy spider girl, or maybe she was just hungry. The ladder was true. She crept down the halls and into the lounge. She could see a light shining on the kitchen floor.

Upon closer inspection, she saw Autumn by the fridge gobbling butter straight from the tub. The light was actually coming from the inside of the fridge.

Autumn scooped up a wad of butter with a plastic spoon and sucked on it, clearly enjoying its taste. Vriska was slightly disgusted but also a little curious. She pulled the spoon over to her own mouth and licked it. Delicious.

"Might as well finish up the butter since we're leaving soon," Autumn said.

Autumn scooped up some more. She and Vriska licked the spoon at the same time, their tongues occasionally intermingling. Autumn took off her top and smoothed some butter between her breasts. Vriska licked it away. Autumn pulled down Vriska's pants and orally pleasured her. Vriska continued to eat the butter as she went. Autumn took the spoon away and licked it. She stuck the other side up Vriska's underside and continued to lick the butter off of it. After getting every bit of deliciousness off of it, she shifted her main focus over to pleasing her kismesis. She thrusted the spoon in and out until Vriska orgasmed.

Vriska was about to eat more butter, but Autumn snatched the tub and hissed. Autumn had given the gasm; thus she'd won the right to the remains. Vriska left the kitchen and returned to her room. Meanwhile, Autumn spooned out more butter and licked the last of it away. She'd gotten herself some pussy tonight.

The next day, everyone gathered at the dining table for breakfast. Some dipshits had eaten all of the butter, so they weren't able to consume baked goods. Instead, they had poptarts.

"tod4y's our l4st d4y h3r3," Latula said. "w3'v3 4ll gott4 p4ck 4nd b3 out of h3r3 by 5:00 tomorrow."

"in da morning?" Roxy asked.

"y3s. th3 dr1v3 1s long, 4nd op3n hous3 1z 4t 8:00."

"That means we'll be driving fo 3 hours," Autumn said.

"You're so good at math," Kodee replied, touching his nose to hers and nuzzling it.

"4noth3r th1ng," Latula said. "1 w4nt you 4ll to p4ck l1k3 you'r3 go1ng 4w4y 43v4."

"Huh?" the others replied.

"Foreva," Latula clarified. "qu1rk m1sh4p."

"Ohhh."

"4nyw4y, k33p th4t 1n m1nd. p4ck 3V3RYTH1NG."

Everyone nodded in agreement. Autumn couldn't see why not. After all, they would be gone for four years. That was a lot of freaking time.

That day, everyone gathered everything together. That meant all video games, blankets, alcohol named cats, pillows, stuffed animals, movies, computers, and food.

It was night by the time Autumn and Kodee got their room cleared up. It had gone from a rainbow back to its neutral self. The bed and floor were cream while the walls were brown. They'd almost forgotten.

"Well, this is our last night here," Kodee said.

"Yeah," Autumn replied. "I'll miss this place."

"Me too."

They knew they couldn't go to bed yet. They decided instead to go to the team bathroom.

When they arrived, the regular light had been replaced with a disco ball and a stereo was playing rave music. Stobe lights shone off of the walls and the water. Terezi, Vriska, Nepeta, and Roxy were there.

":33 Come and join the fun!" Nepeta exclaimed.

Autumn and Kodee raved with their friends. They danced and jammed around, moving their bodies like mad. All of them got undressed and leapt into the water together in a line. They splashed and played together.

Autumn got out and did a canon ball back into the water. Roxy poured some bubble math mix into the water, creating glow in the dark bubbles. She used different kinds to make different colors. Terezi left and came back with arms full of bottles of Faygo and Mountain Dew. Everyone took their pick and chugged down. Only Roxy and Kodee were able to not get drunk from the stuff. The rest of the homies were going to get wasted.

"Where's Radtula?" Autumn asked. "She's missing all of the fun."

"dunno," Roxy replied. She popped open a bottle of wine and chugged it. We were now down to only one sober person present in the room.

The peeps continued to dance and jam. Autumn grabbed Vriska and made out with her. Kodee made out with Terezi.

Half an hour passed. Still no sign of Radtula. Autumn made out with Roxy, Nepeta with Terezi, and Vriska with Kodee. Kodee wound up sliding into Vriska's body and getting his sex on.

At last, Latula walked in. She was looking pretty tired. She flung all of her clothes off and leapt into the water. She surfaced and leaned against the side. Autumn swam up to her.

"Feeling alright?" she asked.

"y34h," Latula replied. "just b33n 4 l1ttl3 busy."

Autumn bathed Latula while she relaxed. Then, she made out with her. Latula downed some Faygo and got in the mood for some dancing. All of the peeps got out of the water and busted some moves on the tile floor. It was a slippery and daring experience. Autumn twerked against Latula. She fell on her and they came sliding into the tub.

Came, lol.

Latula went underwater and ate Autumn out for as long as she could. She surfaced and finished the job with her fingers. Autumn squeezed Latula's breasts during the experience. Latula propped her glasses against her horns, revealing her beautiful eyes. Autumn stroked Latula's cheek.

After Autumn had her way, she lifted Latula out of the water and placed her beside the bathtub. She got out and orally pleasured her rad leader. Teal lubricating juices filled her mouth.

Another ten minutes passed before the party came to an end. Autumn and Kodee got dressed and went back to their room. They snacked on munchies from the food hoarde and had one last fuck before going to sleep in their cozy LOA bed.

Buhh. Morning hit Autumn and Kodee like a rock from a playground bully. It was 4:30AM. They freshened up and had a quick meal. Then, everyone packed everything they had left into the van. Thankfully, the trunk of the vehicle had infinite storage space.

Latula, Terezi, Vriska, Roxy, Nepeta, Autumn, and Kodee all got into the magical flying van. It was still dark outside. Latula started it up and drove it into the air, heading away from the HQ. All of the passengers gazed out the window, admiring their former place in the canyon. Then, a huge explosion erupted from the HQ, sending bright orange flames into the air. Latula hit the gas as hard as she could, getting them the hell out of there. She let up on it when they were at a safe distance.

"What just happened?" Autumn asked.

"1 bl3w up th3 HQ," Latula said.

"YOU DID WHAAAAAAT?" everyone else replied.

Latula flipped her hair. "thos3 guyz tr34t3d us l1k3 cr4p. b3s1d3z, w3'r3 off to coll3g3, wh3r3 w3 c4n st4rt n3w c4r33rs!"

Everyone cheered.

They flew through the air, singing 69 bags of weed on the wall until they ran out. Autumn decided that now was the perfect moment to smoke her weed. She got the two bags out of her magic purse and shared with everyone. They listened to "Smoke Weed Everyday" as they got high. Even Latula, the driver, had some. Totally R4D!

A video of Telletubbies came on with them dancing to the song. It played on the TV at the center seat and Autumn, Kodee, and Terezi watched it together. They then proceeded to watch weird Homestuck fan videos.

Half an hour to the college, they turned the TV off to look outside. They were flying over the ocean.

"4ccord1ng to the tr4ck3r, w3 shouldn't b3 too f4r from l31vr3l1," Latula said.

The tracker gave them the location of Leivreli and where it was headed. It also showed the position of the school.

Soon, they could see the island in the distance. As they got closer, they saw that it was vast and green. It reminded Autumn of one of those Hidden Valley Ranch commercials, only it was even greener.


	12. There's Hope For These People

The school was right along the edge of the island. Latula drove the van right up to it and parked on the brown brick landing pad. Everyone stepped outside of the van and walked over to the sidewalk at the front of the school. The sidewalk gave plenty of space leading up to the entrance, and trees lined the edges.

Tables were set up for students to collect their detailed schedules. A great portion of these students were either furries or kemonomimis. Autumn was so glad she was a girl at the moment. Otherwise, she'd have the most difficult to hide boner.

"Furries!" she shouted.

She dashed up to a group of them and sniffed them. She took off running through the walkway and flew into the air, disappearing from sight. She came back down and landed on Vriska's shoulders.

"Get off!" Vriska shouted.

Once Autumn was back on her feet, the group went to a table to get their detailed schedules. A guy was there ready to assist.

"Names?" he asked.

"L4tul4 Pyrop3, T3r3z1 Pyrop3, Vr1sk4 S3rk3t, Roxy L4lond3, N3p3t4 L3j1on, 4utumn Ros3, 4nd Kod33," Latula listed.

The guy handed schedules out to everyone. Along with classes, the schedules also contained the names of teachers, buildings, and room numbers.

The group went away from the table and looked over their schedules together. The info was listed on a small booklet that also contained a map. The map showed them that they were at Building B.

"do3s 4nyon3 b3s1d3s m3 h4v3 4 cl4ss 4t th1s bu1ld1ng?" Latula asked.

Terezi raised her hand "Y34H."

Everyone else raised their hands as well.

"4lr1ght," Latula said. "w3 c4n 4ll go 1n tog3th3r."

They all held hands and walked towards the building in a line. They climbed up the stairs, which were lined with railing perfect for shredding some sick moves on the skateboard. The entrance was big enough for all of them to stay in formation as they walked inside. This was it. This was their moment. All of them together.

The B Building entrance room was huge and beautiful. The floors and stairs were black marble with jade, teal, and blue designs. The walls were pale silvery blue and the furniture was an elegant mix of jade, teal, blue, violet, and fuchsia. Those colors were also mixed into the carpet in the study area, which was located behind the staircases and elevators.

A tour guide was ready to assist, and he was wearing a tour guide hat from Club Penguin.

"Follow me," he said.

He headed up the stairs. There was no way he was going to make Autumn do that when there were elevators. She floated to the top.

The group came to a directory sign that showed which classes were in which directions. There was carpeting up here that was the same colors as in the study area. Swirly designs covered it that were slightly paler than the main color. Autumn stroked the carpet. Very soft.

Before she could do anything else, she got down and rolled around through the softness. Kodee joined her.

The tour guide was no longer needed thanks to the directory signs. He vanished by fading out of sight.

Nepeta, Roxy, Terezi, Autumn, and Kodee all had a class down the left side of the hall. It was their history class, and they all had it together on Monday. Terezi, Autumn, and Kodee would also share it on Friday. There were no teachers around to talk to, so they made their escape down the stairs.

"Whoa, these are a lot of stairs," Kodee said. "Might wanna be careful coming down."

"Gotcha," Autumn replied.

The entirety of the team regrouped at the base of the stairs.

"C 1z s3cond clos3st," Latula said.

"Kodee and I've got a film class and a computing class up in there," Autumn said.

":33 Film class fur me, too," Nepeta said.

"What time?"

":33 11:00AM-11:50AM on Monday, Mewsday, and Fursday."

"First off, that's fricking cute how you named the days. Second, we've got it the same time on Monday."

":33 Hooray!"

They exited the B Building and headed left towards the C Building. The journey there was scenic and naturey. The walkway was smooth stones and trees and flower hedges lined it. The lovely bluebirds sang beautifully and landed their droppings a courteous distance from the friends.

The group arrived and walked into Building C. It had polished grey floors and a color combination of electric indigo, gold, orange, and cream. Everyone took their own routes to see their classes. Down the first level hallway, there was a beautiful view of nature in the back. Autumn and Kodee had film class with Nepeta on Monday and the other two days, it would just be the two of them.

Upstairs, Autumn and Kodee had computing class with Vriska, Terezi, and Latula on Wednesday. They also had it with Terezi on Monday. It would seem that Terezi shared a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule.

Next up, the team made the long expedition to building A. It took them a solid ten minutes there. Along the way, there was a supply store and food places.

Building A had a color combination grey, gold, teal, and turquoise. Off to the side, there were vending machines. One of them was filled exclusively with Mountain Dew.

"Woo hoo!" Autumn cheered. "Sign me the fuck up!"

She charged over to the vending machine. Kodee joined her, so she knew he wanted some of that. She got them two drinks- one for her, one for him. They headed down the right hall to their last class of the day. It was mathematics. Vriska and Latula had this class with them on Wednesday.

The homies visited a bunch of other buildings so that everyone could get a good look at their classes. Well, sort of. Most of the rooms were locked. Anyway, once that was taken care of, they walked back to Building B. Some chick was drawing on the sidewalk with some chalk. A group of men were setting up a slide at the top of Building B.

Sign me the FUCK up •••• good shit good sHit that's ✔some good••shit right••there right there ✔✔if I do say so my self • I say so that's what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ •••• HO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ •••• •••• Good shit.

Terezi grabbed a piece of chalk and licked it. It tasted like cherry Faygo. The homies took the elevator to the top of Building B just as the workers opened the slide. Autumn stood at the entrance to it and rubbed her hands together. Vriska pushed her hard, causing her to come zooming down. Kodee pushed Vriska and after that, everyone crammed in together, sliding to the bottom in a big, borderline pornographic heap.

Of course, these homies weren't just gonna go for it one time. They went back to the top of the slide and had another round of sweet, slidarific fun.

After that, the group walked up to a housing booth to find out where they were going to be living for the next four years.

"Right this way," said a lady. She was tall with brown hair that was tied back into a bun. She was wearing black glasses and a black suit.

The team climbed in the van with her and she directed Latula in the proper direction. Latula drove past the college and through a vast field of beautiful flowers. They would up in a very naturey neighborhood. The roads were smooth, sienna brick and stone fences lined the outsides of houses and cut between them. Sidewalks ran along the outer fences. Between each side of the road, there was a grassy strip lined with trees.

Latula pulled the car through the gate and into the garage. The house was grand and brick. The group walked onto the stone porch and the lady unlocked the door for them. The entrance hall had polished wooden floors and slick cream walls. Cream and brown rugs lined the center of the floor. Off to the left, there was a wooden staircase with carpeting in the middle.

A doorway at the end of the hall led into the living room. It had a beautiful rug with varying shades of jade green and blue and a dark brown carpeted floor. The entrance wall had a fireplace, the wall on the left had wooden shelves and a giant flat screen TV, the wall was made of windows with a view of the back yard, and the right wall was short and served to divide the living room from the kitchen. Along the short wall, there was a dark blue and dark jade green couch with blue and jade green pillows. Next to it was a loveseat with the same colors, and behind that were more wooden shelves.

The kitchen had a dark grey polished tile floor with pale silver walls. It had blue and jade green cabinets and counters. A glass table with chairs of the same colors sat off to the side on a rug with various shades of teal.

The back porch lined the whole back of the house, and there was a soft, grey leopard print porch swing off to the left side. The yard had plenty of open space to run around, and there wasn't a single patch of it that was devoid of glass. A playground swing with four seats sat off to the left side. Past the swing, there was a wooden deck with a swimming pool that lined one of the bedrooms.

"C4LL3D 1T," Terezi said.

It would seem that it was time to pick rooms. All of the rooms were empty and cream colored with wooden flooring. Virtually no difference except for maybe their layout and location.

After viewing each room, the group gathered in the living room so that they would have an equal chance to get to their desired rooms first. There were four of them; two upstairs and two downstairs. Terezi had already called the downstairs room by the pool.

The lady said "Go!" and everyone charged for their rooms. Autumn, Kodee, and Latula wasted no time getting upstairs. The downstairs rooms were for pussies.

Latula got the room in the back of the house. It had a closet leading onto a large balcony. Autumn and Kodee got a room on the other side, and it had a balcony overlooking the street. It was divided in half by a wall that stretched over halfway across the center of the room. The middle of the back wall curved and the entirety of the back wall, including the door, was made out of glass windows.

Downstairs, Terezi was dashing around her claimed box of land. Vriska joined her so that they could share. Nepeta and Roxy got the remaining room, which was across the hall. The right side of it was sectioned off into three parts.

Alright, alright, alright! Since those were claimed, we move on to the only remaining rooms in the house- the bathrooms. Vriska and Terezi had one in their room, and there were two upstairs on either side. Each bathroom had a large bathtub, a shower, a sink, and a toilet. Toilets didn't actually serve a purpose in this world; they were just for decoration. The bathroom downstairs had a grey color scheme, the one closest to the stairs had blue, and the one down the upstairs hall had brown.

Everyone regrouped in the living room.

"All expenses are paid for by LOA," the lady said. "Enjoy your stay."

She faded away.

"We're still part of LOA?" Autumn asked.

"no on3 h4z to know," Latula said.

It was official. They had moved in. Well, almost. They still had to unpack all of their stuff. They got to work right away, having nothing better to do.

By the end of the afternoon, all of their belongings had been transferred into the house and into their appropriate rooms.

Autumn and Kodee looked around their room.

"Still needs work," Autumn said.

Looks like tomorrow, they were gonna go…shopping! For now, though, these homies needed a break. It had been a long day. They walked into the living room. Terezi and Vriska were watching some CSI. Autumn and Kodee watched with them.

It was starting to get dark outside. No dad Egbert to fix them dinner.

What will they do?

Autumn and Kodee: Conjure up a pot of delicious mac and cheese.

Will do, my fine fellas. They went into the kitchen and got cooking. Unfortunately, it was discovered that they needed butter. Luckily, the fridge had been stocked well before their arrival. How wondrously convenient.

By the time the mac was done, Guardians of the Galaxy had started playing on the current channel. Everyone on the team sat down to watch as they ate.

After the movie…

"Since we're not officially LOA anymore, are we still a team?" Autumn asked.

"sur3," Latula replied.

"We should have a name for our team," Kodee asked.

Everyone tapped their chins. Clearly, they were taking his idea into consideration.

"How about Hemostar?" Autumn suggested. "Y'know, because of the Hemospectrum. And the zodiacs."

"1 l1k3 th3 st4r th3m3," Latula said. "th3 n4m3, not so much."

"Ooo," Kodee said. "Supernova."

Everyone looked at him as if he'd just found the lost city of Atlantis.

"y3333s!" Latula squealed.

Everyone lifted Kodee into the air and cheered. And so it was decided. They weren't a random team from LOA anymore, but instead Team Supernova. Latula would remain their leader.

Since there were no beds in the bedrooms, everyone piled the pillows together on the rug in the living room and moved the glass coffee table aside. Autumn, Kodee, Roxy, and Nepeta slept on the pillow pile, Latula slept on the loveseat and Terezi and Vriska shared the couch. They all drifted away in a cuddlepile of cuteness.

The next day, it was morning. Being part cat within her cuddly soul, Nepeta was awake at a random early time. She crept around the house, her blue tail swishing. It was a robotic tail that Equius had made for her, and she was able to take it off whenefur she wanted.

Autumn and Kodee were up next. They worked together to make pancakes for the team. Everyone ate at the table in the kitchen, which they assumed was meant to serve as a dining room table.

Next up, everyone got in the van and drove off. They went down a path in the center of their neighborhood that took them to the nearby city, which was called Minet. (Minet is Armenian for "sex" and French for "kitty")

Minet was different from the naturey stuff that they had seen before. It looked much like any city. They found the mall, which was huge, and parked in the parking garage beside it.

The team agreed to meet back up in three hours. They went their separate ways to do their shopping. Autumn and Kodee stayed together, of course. They were on a mission- a mission to do something in life.

The two lovers took the elevator down the floor and headed down one of the many wide, beautifully carpeted walkways.

"Where do we even begin?" Autumn asked.

"Well," Kodee considered. "Let's do what we didn't do with our last room. How about carpeting and walls?"

"Aw, yes."

They went inside the mall's version of the Home Depot. Within the store, there was a special device that let them map out which colors of flooring they wanted where. They created a light rainbow design out of super soft carped that swirled. For the walls, they created colorful designs. They paid 3,000 Goober Dollars for some workers to head down there and install it right away.

Next, they bought two large, bright and colorful rugs. The striped one would go in the first half of the room and the more complex patterned one would go in the second half.

As for the bed, they went to Bed Bath and Beyond. They bought a bed with a side frame and backboard made out of smooth, dark grey leather. The mattress they chose to go with it was said to be the softest and most comfy in existence. As a bonus, it was also great for sexx! They chose a soft, furry bedspread with a pink, golden, and light blue hue and black leopard spots. They got plenty of pillows of the same color and softness to match.

That took care of the main decorating necessities. Now, it was on to everything else. Autumn and Kodee agreed that they would need some posters this time around, since they wouldn't have enough blankets to cover all of the walls. In fact, they'd already decided to drape the blankets along the tops of each wall.

The lovers went into the Welovefine store to look at stuff from their favorite fandoms. Autumn got a "Shun the Non-Believer" shirt with Charlie the Unicorn on it, a turtle consort plushie, a crocodile consort plushie, and an alpha kids lunchbox. Kodee got an iguana consort plushie and a Pokémon lunch box.

Next, they went to the poster store. They got posters for Homestuck, Pokémon, My Little Pony, Adventure Time, Disney, and Steven Universe. All of this shopping made them hungry, so that grabbed a bite to eat at Chick fil A.

By this time, three hours had passed. They called the rest of the team to say they'd be late. The others agreed to see a movie while they waited.

They went on to buy some furniture. They got bookshelves to line the short wall on the second side of their room. They also got cabinets, nightstands, a dresser, and desks. They got toy shelves to go in the center of the second room and plushie nets to put on the far corners of the whole room. They got a large, colorful seat to put in the center section of the wall that jutted out.

Autumn and Kodee went to Toys R Us to get toys for the shelves. They got legos, soft building blocks, board games, a fresh deck of Uno cards, and other stuff that I can't think of at the moment.

To fill up their bookshelves, they went to Barnes and Noble and bought books for their college classes, animal fact books, animal fiction books, two guides on how to draw furries, a How to Draw Manga guide, a colorful edition of the Joshuan Bible, the Hunger Games trilogy, all seven Harry Potter books, all of the Twilight Books, the 50 Shades Trilogy, all House of Night books, and whatever else they could use to fill up those empty gaps.

Now, where in the hell is everything they purchase going? Autumn and Kodee were teleporting all of it straight to the trunk of the magical flying van. Question answered.

All that was left was…ah, yes! Technology! They went into a technological store and bought an HD TV to go on the wall and two iMacs (the latest and greatest computers) to go on the desks. At last, they were done with their shopping!

Everyone in Supernova climbed into the van and Latula drove them home. They all went to their rooms to set everything up. It was late into the night by the time that Autumn and Kodee were finished. Their room looked like a colorful paradise. The half by the door was more like a regular bedroom and the second half was more like a study room/playroom.

The lovers were so exhausted from setting up their room that they went straight to bed.

Sunlight drifted through the turquoise, magenta, and orange curtains that I forgot to mention earlier. These curtains hung from the tops of the windows and went to the floor.

Autumn opened her amber eyes. She was facing Kodee and the windows. The space between the bed and the window wall offered plenty of space to run around. Kodee was looking super adorable with his bed head. Autumn stared at him creepily as he slept.

After a few minutes, he opened his beautiful blue eyes.

"Hey, Kodeekins," Autumn said softly.

"Good morning," Kodee replied.

Autumn stroked his face.

The romantic moment was ruined by Vriska barging through the door. What a bitch.

"You weren't at dinner last night," she said.

"Yeah?" Autumn asked. "So what?"

"Without Kodee to cook, Latula had to take over. She 8urnt the rice! 8urnt it!"

"Jesus Christ. It is too early in the morning for you to be yelling at us."

"Get down here and make us some damn 8reakfast."

She walked out of the room and didn't close the door. Such a bitch. Autumn and Kodee knew they would have to get going. They went downstairs into the kitchen.

"What are we making?" Autumn asked.

"Waffles," Kodee replied.

They got to work while the others watched Saturday morning cartoons. It wasn't Saturday, but whatevs.

"Are we going to spit in Vriska's food?" Autumn whispered.

"That's not very professional," Kodee replied. "We'll lick it instead."

Ah, Kodee, my professional prince. The waffles were completed and Autumn and Kodee ran their tongues along the one that was meant for Vriska. They passed the food around to everyone like cheap cigars. They also handed out glasses of fresh milk. They had some for themselves as well.

"th1s 1z d3l1sh," Latula said. "kod33, 1'm promot1ng you to h34d ch3f."

"Yay!" Kodee cheered, clapping his hands. "As my first royal decree, I will make Autumn assistant chef."

Autumn bounced up and down cheering. While Vriska was watching them, Terezi snatched her waffle, licked it, and put it back on her plate. Vriska bit into it.

"This is really good," she said.

Autumn and Kodee looked at each other and snickered.

After breakfast, the lovers went up to their room to play video games. Autumn pulled their 3DS XLs out of her magic purse. Hers was fuchsia with a dark fuchsia fox design and Kodee's was indigo with a light indigo dragon design. Autumn pulled the blackout curtains out so that they'd have less light in the room. They laid in bed and started up their Pokémon games. Autumn had Pokémon X and Kodee had Y.

Autumn's data was fairly new for this game. She only had four Pokémon: Fennekin, Riolu, Skitty, and Squirtle. She decided to go to the name rater to have their names changed, since the current ones sucked.

Unfortunately, the game wouldn't allow Autumn to name her Fennekin Hotslave. What kind of bullshit is this? She was playing her game in America! Freedom of speech!

She dodged the game's censorship by using leetspeak. It looked like Latula had named her. Hotsl4v3. Autumn went on to name the others. She came out with Thrustprince for Riolu (inspired by Kodee's attributes, of course), Meowgasm for Skitty, and Jamie Flu1d for Squirtle.

The names for Kodee's Pokémon were already perfect. He was also early on in the game, as they always started their games together. He had Penetr8 the Chespin, Woodie the Bidoof, Mistress the Espurr, and Sweet Tooth the Marill.

Autumn and Kodee went to the Player Search System and had a full on pornographic battle. Autumn's Squirtle kept using Tackle and then Water Gun.

"You know you like that Pin Needle, don't you, bitch?" Kodee asked.

"Sure, but can you handle the fiery flames of Hotsl4v3's vagina?" Autumn retorted.

Kodee ended up winning thanks to type advantages. The lovers played solo for a while and then had another battle. Autumn won this time thanks to her new friend Tan00kie the Sentret.

After that, they put their games away and went to the other side of the room to play the board game "Candy Land". They got it off the toy shelf and set it up on the floor.

"There's enough pieces for four players," Autumn said.

"Yes," Kodee agreed. "We should find some of our friends."

They decided to invite Roxy and Nepeta to partake in the game. They went downstairs and talked to the girls, who were happy to join in on the fun.

The rules of the game were simple: draw a color card and go to the nearest square with that color. The peeps played their first round and Roxy was the winner. Autumn won on the next go round.

Next, the peeps played with soft building blocks. Nepeta and Roxy teamed up against Kodee and Autumn to see who could create the highest tower.

"lets make dis interesting," Roxy said. "losing team acts as sexual submissives to winning team."

"It's a deal," Kodee replied.

All of the peeps shook on it. They got to building. The towers climbed so high that they were over everyone's heads. Autumn and Kodee won after the tower of their competition came tumbling down.

"Alright!" Autumn cheered.

She ran to the door and locked it.

"We win," she said as she walked back over to the losers.

"alright," Roxy replied. "tell us what we need to do."

";33 Meow," Nepeta added.

Autumn and Kodee looked at each other and nodded. They brought the loser girls onto the bed. The losers removed the pajama pants of the winners. Roxy sucked on Kodee while Nepeta licked Autumn. Autumn and Kodee kissed each other between moans.

As Nepeta licked harder, Autumn pressed her head down and began to buck against the kitty troll. Kodee brought Roxy to her knees and took her from behind. When he was done, he moved onto Nepeta, and Roxy went on to orally pleasure Autumn.

Autumn and Kodee switched back and forth between Roxy and Nepeta, making them do various positions and acts. And they all came buckets.

The four of them got dressed into their PJ's. Nepeta and Roxy skipped out of the room. They went back to their own room, which was nearly as big as Autumn and Kodee's. It had wooden floors, pale colorful walls, colorful rugs, and colorful art shelves along the left wall. The right wall was sectioned off into three parts with the area to the right containing a yellow and white bed, the center a closet, and the right a computer space. The wall closest to the door held all of the ships and the space below that contained cat beds.

Nepeta went to the art table and began to create a chart containing the intermingling schedules of all of her friends. All of the symbols next to each other symbolized a class together. Nepeta made copies and went around the house handing them out to everyone.

Autumn and Kodee looked over Nepeta's chart together in their room.

"We'll have other homies with us in all classes except for three," Autumn said.

"That's homies to the 70.0 percentile," Kodee replied.

"Poor Nepeta will be all alone on Mewsday…"

"Purrhaps she can befriend some of the cat furries."

"Ooo, yes."

This chart was certainly something to work off of. Autumn could see herself updating it in the future to add more friends. After all, one can never have too many furiends! ™

Autumn and Kodee stashed their charts in the cabinets beside their desks. They proceeded to go on YouTube to watch some videos. It was about time they got some advice from Papa Frank.

Autumn clicked on "HIGH SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE" by FilthyFrank, because high school was close enough to college for similar rules to apply. They watched it together. The sniper bullying thing seemed like a fun thing to do, but they weren't upperclassmen. Duh.

Next, they watched "TYPES OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET" by the same guy. It was pretty much 100% accurate.

They went on to watch the entire series, thus wasting nearly an hour of their time. They decided that instead of staying on YouTube, they would go swimming. They put on their swimsuits and went out back. The pool was grand and lined with beautiful gardens. The lovers held hands and leapt in together.

Vriska and Terezi could be seen in the pool outside their room. They were naked and making out. Vriska turned and glared at Autumn. Autumn stuck her tongue out at her.

Autumn and Kodee splashed around for about half an hour before going inside to eat lunch. There was no grill, so Kodee cooked hot dogs in the microwave. It was timed to perfection, thus still proving his greatness as a chef. He served them to everyone without a bun or anything. Shredded cheese was offered as a side dish.

Autumn ran her tongue along the hot dog. She wasn't even doing it to be provocative this time; she enjoyed the sizzling feeling that it gave off when she touched it.

"Thank you, Kodeekins," she said.

After eating, the lovers went to the playground swing and got in seats next to each other. It had been so long since they'd been on one of these. It was one of their weaknesses. They could go for hours. And so that is what they did.

At 5:00PM, they took a bath in the tub closest to their room and put on their PJ's. They played Pokémon and watched an episode of The Grey Garden series.

At 7:30PM, they went into the kitchen and worked together to create yellow rice. It was fluffy and wonderful and cooked to perfection. A motherfucking miracle.

Everyone ate the rice in bowls together in the living room while they watched "Mean Girls". This movie was like an advanced guide on how to be a total bitch. Autumn and Vriska took mental notes throughout the film.

Once it was over, Kodee and Autumn went to their room. They curled up in bed and fell asleep together.

A new day sprung up from the outer reaches of the universe. Today was guaranteed to be another shopping day. After breakfast, everyone got into the magical flying van and went to Wal-Mart in Minet City.

Latula grabbed a shopping cart.

"4lr1ght, 3v3ryon3," she said. "follow m3."

They followed her to the school supply section of the store. Latula looked at a list of recommended supplies that she printed off of an elementary school website.

"th1s pr3tty much 4ppl13z to 4ll schools," she said, pointing to where it said that on the paper.

She started off at the top of the list. First thing required was a bookbag. It was essential for the transportation of books and other basic necessity supplies, such as potato chips.

Autumn got a galaxy themed bookbag; Kodee got black with purple flames; Nepeta got a kitty themed bookbag; Roxy got pink, black, and white; Terezi got a red dragon bookbag that was based off of her cosplay outfit; Vriska got black with blue flames; and Latula got red and teal tie dye.

Next, it was onward to the writing supplies. They went down another isle, which held pens, pencils, crayons, and markers. They filled their carts with plenty of that stuff. Autumn and Kodee got special packs of pens with animal print designs on the sides.

As they were heading away from that isle, Autumn spotted something she had been searching for her whole life. She'd seen commercials for them dating back to the late 1990's, but the ads would always say, "Coming Soon". Now the day had arrived that this product finally hit the market.

She picked up a pack of them and held them in her hands. It was Nonconformist Crayons. These crayons weren't like your ordinary crayons. This pack had ultraviolet crayons, black crayons that said white, white crayons that said black, and even clear colored crayons! There were crayons that screamed insults and ones that ate other crayons for breakfast. There was even the rare demon crayon that could open a portal to the underworld.

Autumn recalled the days when she pretended that her writing materials were alive and had personalities. She would play with them in her desk instead of paying attention to what the teacher was saying.

"yo 4utumn," Latula said. "you com1ng or wh4t?"

Autumn ran to the cart with her crayons and tossed them in there. Her peeps were looking at notebooks, folders, and binders. Autumn collected four of each in the highest quality. Using her borderline synesthesia, she sorted them to her classes by colors that seemed to fit. She chose sky blue/lavender for film, jade/brown for history, teal/lime for math, and grey/chartreuse yellow for computer class.

By this time, the cart was pretty damn stacked. The team piled in scissors, glue, lunch boxes, umbrellas (in case it rained. Duh.), rulers, calculators, and some shitty stencils. Seriously, though, when do people really need to use stencils? Kids can't learn to write letters that way; that only teaches them how to trace shit.

From across the store, they heard a child screaming.

"I WANT AN ORANGE POWER RANGER!" he shouted.

All of the adult victims covered their ears. Someone needed a time out. Case and point made. This generation needs to clean up their act.

To distract herself from the noiseblast, Autumn got on the floor and did the worm. It was kind of painful because the floor was hard, but she continued to do it anyway. A random teenager took a picture of it as she was walking by and posted it to Instagram.

Supernova carried on through the store like stone warriors, determined to finish their trip before the day was nigh. They got buckets of popcorn chicken from the food stand and wolfed it down. Then, they went to the food isle and got a bunch of snacks and stuff to pack for their lunches. It was necessary even with the college meal plan, since everyone was a pig.

The team pushed the heavy cart to the check out lines. All of the ones with cashiers were full. This gave them no choice. They would have to use the self checkout.

The self checkout was notorious for being the worst place to trade in money for merchandise. The team took one look at it and decided it was not for them. Autumn placed a wad of cash on the counter and they dashed out of the Wal-Mart. Latula drove the team as quickly as possible back to their house and they took everything inside.

That was sort of a close call.

The rest of the day was spent lollygagging around. No one did anything at the moment to sort their new stuff together.


	13. Forsooth, My Good Feline

"Errr-ihhh-errr-ih-ERRRR!" cried the rooster.

It was the morning of the day when all new students would have to participate in Integrity March. That wasn't until 6:30PM, and therefore, no one cared at the moment.

Autumn sprung out of bed and rolled around the soft floor. She engulfed herself with pillows and blankets. This was a major turn on for her. It was also the first thing Kodee saw when he opened his eyes.

He got out of bed and rolled around with her. Afterwards, they went downstairs to make breakfast. Kodee decided to let Autumn cook this time. She got some vegetables out of the fridge and put them into a bowl. Then, she spun it around and, whazza! The ingredients transformed into cake ingredients.

"You can't just do that!" a voice in her head exclaimed.

An owl came crashing through the window. He looked her in the eyes and screeched, "NO PERFORMING MAGIC OUTSIDE OF HOGWARTS!"

The owl took off, crashing through yet another window in the process. Autumn used magic to repair both of the windows and carried on with her cake construction. She slid the tray full of mix the oven and set it to 1,000 degrees. Kodee rushed to her aid and turned it down to a non lethal setting. Now the house wouldn't explode.

When the cake was done, they decorated it with pink and blue icing. Everyone came and grabbed a piece.

"What flavor is this?" Vriska asked.

"Cake flavor," Autumn replied.

They all dug in. It was good, but not as grand as something Kodee could've come out with. Maybe he should've been the one to cook.

"You did good," Kodee said. "You're still learning, and for someone who's caused countless fiery explosions in the past, this has been a major improvement."

Yes, except she still nearly blew up the house. Nevertheless, she took the words of her optimistic prince to heart. And by prince, I mean someone incredibly handsome and dignified.

Autumn gave Kodee a kiss on the lips.

The lovers threw away their paper plates hoping to harm the environment and went to their room to do Josh knows what. Autumn scanned through the books on the bookshelf.

"Hmm," she said. "I wonder what's in those college textbooks. It could clue us into what we're going to be learning."

"Certainly," Kodee replied. "Hop over to the reading bed."

She climbed onto it. It looked very much like a human sized cat bed and was equally as comfortable. The curved wall surrounding it was filled with windows.

Kodee got into the bed with a book and sat beside Autumn. She rested her head in his lap.

He gazed down at the college textbook, titled "Modern Filmmaking Within the World of Cinematographic Experience". And by some act of God, I actually managed to spell "cinematographic" right on the first try. That's right: no spell check was needed. Somebody give me a fucking gold star for that one.

Kodee bestowed upon me the Star of David. Close enough.

Anyway, Kodee looked down at the book again and began to read it to Autumn as a mother would read her infant a bedtime story:

"Once Upon a Time, in the land of modern cinema, modern filmmakers embarked on a mission to make filmmaking their top priority."

"Does it really say that?" Autumn asked.

"Who is telling this story?" Kodee asked. "Me or you?"

Autumn folded her arms. Kodee continued to read, staying a bit more true to the original text this time.

"'This direct to book sequel of the previous edition of…' that's too long of a title. I'm not going to read that. 'Invites students such as yourselves to learn the linguistics of film production and design. Contained within each page is a pop culture reference that you are bound to get. Why? Because you are living in a modern era.'"

Kodee turned the page. There was a picture of a dog with an inflatable duck and a huge scoop of wasabi ice cream.

"What is that supposed to be a reference to?" Autumn asked.

"'This was taken in 2014 in the year of our lord. Just by looking at the picture, you can tell that this dog has a lot of personality. In this book, you will learn how to identify a well developed character from a poorly developed one.'"

"Here we go with that bullshit. Why can't people just be allowed to make their own characters without worrying about standard quality? It sucks out the fun of writing a self pleasuring narrative."

"You must remember, Autumn, that this is…work. Not pleasure writing. We must strive for the conformed ideals of what makes a superlative character. Only then shall we make A's."

"Well, I wanna make an A. As much as I like the D, I like the first letter of the alphabet as well when it comes to succeeding."

"Yes, okay. Would you like to hear more?"

"Indeed."

Autumn quieted down so that Kodee could continue reading her the textbook.

"'This book will make you feel as if you have stumbled into the depths of a real movie.' Ooo, I wonder how literal that statement is. Anyway, 'The format has been updated to allow easier access to the desired materials. This is especially helpful for when your teacher gives you only five seconds to get where you need to be.'"

Autumn yawned. "This is boring. Let's wait until school starts to continue."

Kodee walked over to the bookshelf and put the book back in its proper place.

"Now what do you want to do?" he asked.

"I don't know," Autumn replied. "We could have a tea party."

Kodee nodded. "That sounds great!" he cheered.

They set up a small plastic table in an open space within their room. Kodee brewed tea in the kitchen while Autumn set up the stuffed animals.

Meanwhile…

Rumzie and Tequille O'Neal were taking a stroll through the backyard. They went to the brick wall lining the property and leapt onto it. It was time to check out the neighborhood pussies.

"I heard meowing outside the other day," Tequille O'Neal said in his mysterious cat language.

The other cat responded, his words also coming out in meowspeak. He had a British accent. "Indeed, my fellow feline brother from another test tube. We have encountered a neighborhood crawling with feminine delicacy."

They made their way down a wall that divided up the Supernova residence from another. It led them to a wall nearby the street. A lovely ginger feline was resting by one of the trees in the area that divided up the street. She had eyes that were blue like the clear sky above them.

"I request her first paw as the feline variant of my bitch," Rumzie meowed.

"That ain't no fair, bro," Tequille O'Neal retorted. "You know I dang saw her first."

"Please; I don't want to hear what hogwash banter you wish to pull out of your mouth."

"You wanna go, bro?"

"Gladly."

They proceeded to mate. The girl pussy gazed up at them and watched. What a weird pair of cats. They had magenta eyes. What the actual fuck.

Rumzie got off of his incest clone. He was panting with rage and desire. Could this be the makings of…a kismesisisitude? He looked back at the female. She was supposed to be the main focus, not his dumbass replica.

"I WILL HAVE THE BROAD!" he exclaimed. He jumped off the fence and charged towards her.

Like any sane cat, she dashed away, swiftly dodging traffic in the process. One car came to a screeching halt and a package came crashing out of the windshield. It flew 500 feet through the air and landed in the yard of the supernova residence.

Rumzie dashed back to Tequille O'Neal. "I ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!" he snarled.

"Well MAYBE," Tequille O'Neal hissed, "You should've WATCHED where you was GOIN'! Fuckin' piece of manure."

"HOW DARE YOU FLIRT WITH ME LIKE THAT!"

Rumzie ran away crying cat tears. He made his way inside of the house and headed towards Nepeta and Roxy's room. At least his two favorite pals in the world would be there to cheer him up. Unfortunately, the door was closed, and he knew that if he tried to meow for them, his voice would crack. He could hear muffled moaning coming from inside.

Rather than bothering them, he went upstairs to see what was there. One of the doors was partially open. He went inside.

"Oh look, a kitty," Autumn said.

"It's one of the clones," Kodee replied.

"Yes, I knew that."

Rumzie walked up to Autumn and rubbed against her. Autumn placed a cup of tea on the floor beside him. He lapped up a few sips. It was ever so sweet, so British.

Meanwhile…

Vriska and Terezi had found the package laying in the yard. Hooo, boi, what an excellent opportunity to snoop in someone's business. Vriska picked it up.

"We should open it," she said.

"NO W4Y," Terezi replied. "W3'V3 GOT TO R3PORT TH1S TO L4TUL4 F1RST."

"I know she's still our leader and stuff, 8ut we're not agents anymore. That means we don't have to follow agent protocol."

While they were arguing, Tequille O'Neal spotted the package. He remembered that he was at least partially responsible for its transport into the yard, so like a good American citizen, it was his duty to claim it. With the great agility of the basketball star he was named after, he leapt through the air and snatched the package out of Vriska's hand.

"Hey!" Vriska shouted, chasing the feline into the house.

Terezi ran after them.

They ran around the coffee table and all around the downstairs area. Tequille O'Neal feared for his life, but nonetheless, he wouldn't let the package go unless they pried it from his cold, dead cat jaws.

Nepeta stepped out of the room.

":33 Leave my cat alone!" she exclaimed.

She jumped to the rescue, tackling Vriska and Terezi to the floor. Tequille O'Neal used this chance to race up the stairs. Vriska and Terezi pushed Nepeta away and charged after Tequille. Nepeta chased them.

All of them came crashing into Autumn and Kodee's room. Tequille O'Neal leapt across the tea party table and the trolls knocked it down trying to catch him. Autumn and Kodee shrieked.

Within moments, the intruders were out of the room, as they had taken their chase scene somewhere else. Rumzie lifted his head into the air and howled.

"WHYYYY?" he cried. He put his paws over his eyes. "I just wanted to get some pussy…"

Autumn and Kodee had no idea what he was saying. They currently didn't have the power to talk to animals. They had been able to at some point in time, but that was before they traded that ability in for their cool bending powers.

Meanwhile, Tequille O'Neal was still running with the package. He ran into the bathroom connected to Vriska and Terezi's room. Vriska stepped on his tail, causing for him to yelp. The package went flying and landed in the toilet. Moments later, a flame erupted from the toilet, causing the package to be destroyed.

"1 TOLD YOU W3 SHOULDN'T H4V3 1NST4LL3D TH4T F34TUR3," Terezi said.

Vriska did a face palm. She lifted Tequille into the air and spun him by his tail. When she let go, he slid out of the bathroom and under the bed. He got up and dashed away.

"I guess we'll never know what's in that package…" Vriska said.

Terezi pressed a special button on the toilet, causing a vortex to open up. The package flew out of it and hit Vriska in the face. Vriska examined it.

"Wow, Terezi," she said. "That's really quite amazing."

"TH4NKS," Terezi said.

The info on the label said "To: McSizzle. From: Razzledazzle. 'This is gonna rock your world. Trust me, bae.'" Unable to stand the suspense, Vriska tore the package open. Inside of it was a flathead screwdriver. A note beside it read "This is to remind you of all of the times we've screwed. I hope you have a wonderful International Left Hander's day. I know you're not left handed, but I love you anyway."

"W3 C4N'T JUST T4K3 TH1S," Terezi said. "W3 N33D TO G1V3 1T TO MCS1ZZL3."

"Listen to yourself, Terezi," Vriska said. "Anyone with the name McSizzle deserves to have their mail stolen."

"BUT 1T'S SO STUP1D. DON'T YOU W4NT TO S33 TH3 LOOK ON MCSIZZL3'S F4C3 WH3N H3/SH3 R3C13V3S S41D G1FT?"

"Nope."

Vriska picked up the screw driver and tossed it in the trash can.

Late into the afternoon, at 6:00PM Fiji Standard Time, the team drive to Leivreli to do the March of Integrity. They all got into a disorganized line and passed through a giant multicolored arch as the instrumental version of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" played. It was a ceremonial act spanning back many months. Autumn could feel the educational aura flowing through the premises.

Once the march was done, all of the students had to face the American flag while a lavender mouse furry sang the National Anthem. She drew her vowels so much that she sounded like an opera singer. Autumn had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

" _Ooooooh say can you seee-eeee-eee-eee_

 _By the dawn's early liii-iiii-iiiiiiiii-iiight,_

 _What so proudly we haaail'd_

 _At the twilight's last gleeeeamiiing_

…

 _And the rocket's red GLAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAre!_

 _The bombs buuuursting in aaaa-aaaa-aaair._ "

(I do not own the lyrics to that song)

After that, a guy on the roof of a nearby building took everyone's picture. Autumn was pretty sure she blinked through all of them.

Everyone sat facing the building while various people talked to the new students over the microphone. Many inspirational words were said. The students were told to not just find themselves, but to create themselves. To become the absolute best version that they could be.

Autumn thought about what it would mean for her to try hard. It would require effort, something she hadn't given a shit about for over ten years. The thought of it was oddly inviting. Maybe it would be fun to try for once.

"Hakuna Matata," said the voice of Timon in her head. "It means no worries. You can't worry about your problems."

"Don't listen to that slacker," argued the voice of Shia Labouf. "MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!"

Autumn raised her fist into the air. A single tear ran down her cheek. "I shall make an effort," she said.

Kodee looked at her and gasped. Effort. Where was this coming from? Fear coursed through him because he knew that if she was making an effort, then he would have to as well.

The ceremony concluded and Supernova drove home. Kodee and Autumn cooked chicken and French fries for everyone. After dinner, the lovers went to their room to discuss their new ambitions.

"Even as a slacker, I still made A's," Autumn said. "Maybe if I'd tried harder, I could've been a religious deity like Stephen Hawking."

"'To know your full potential, you must give your full effort,'" Kodee said, quoting one of the guys from the ceremony.

"I think I'll need a little help. Can you team up with me to help me improve?"

"Of course. I'm happy to work with you."

"Thank you, my sweet Kodee darling."

She wrapped her arms around him and they kissed. After that, they laid in bed and watched episodes of "The Simpsons" until they fell asleep.

* * *

The rooster had died of homophobia, so it was now the neighborhood cow's job to wake everyone up. That's right, cow. It is your time to shine.

"MOOOOOOOO!" he…mooed.

Autumn and Kodee rose and shone stretching their arms gracefully as they made their passage of consciousness into the world. Rays of the morning sun streamed into the room, casting a warm light upon their surroundings.

This was the last day before college started. That's right; college was tomorrow. This was their last chance to embrace the welcoming arms of freedom before their schedules were filled with educational bullshit.

Let's see…what could they do? Kodee's gonna take over for a while. Kodee, suggestions.

Kodee: Climb onto the deck and fall into the yard.

Kodee went outside through the glass doors and stood on the very edge of the deck. Gravity took over, causing him to plummet into the bushes below.

Autumn ran out onto the deck. "What are you doing?!" she said.

"Falling for you," Kodee replied.

Autumn tried to think of a clever comeback but couldn't. She leapt off of the deck and landed in the bushes beside Kodee. They made out for a few minutes.

Kodee snapped his fingers, causing Little Debbie fancy cakes to appear. He shared them with Autumn. That served as their breakfast for the day.

Unable to come up with anything to do right before school started, they took a walk down the street and made a turn down the path leading into Minet City. The place was crawling with cars (literally; traffic was backed up like a BMW). The bicyclists and furry pedestrians were able to move faster. Luckily, Kodee and Autumn fell right into the pedestrian category. Thank goodness that they decided not to drive.

They headed down various streets, seeing what types of shops were there and what type of recreational buildings were within range. They walked in front of a huge library. There were stone steps leading up to it. A group of girls were running a lemonade stand at the front.

"Hey!" one of the girls shouted.

Autumn and Kodee walked over to them.

"Can we ask you a favor?" the girl asked.

Autumn and Kodee looked at each other. "Uhhh."

"Great! We're selling this to make money for our field trip, but there's a book signing going on inside the library. We need you to cover for us."

"Sure," Kodee said.

Autumn glared at Kodee.

The girls got out of their seats and headed up towards the library. Autumn and Kodee took their place.

"Nice move, Einstein," Autumn said.

"Don't you remember the field trip incident in third grade?" Kodee asked.

"Yeah… I freaking hated the third grade."

"It was as if bullying was normally occurring phenomenon."

A lady walked up to the stand.

"One, please," she said.

"Okay," Autumn said. "That'll be fifty dollars."

The lady high tailed it out of there. Kodee gave Autumn a confused look.

"What?" Autumn asked. "They never told us how much it costed."

"It says so on the sign," Kodee replied.

Kodee pointed up. The sign said "Free lemonade: 50 cents". Okay, then why didn't the lady assume that Autumn was joking? People these days. Joshuan inscrutability.

Autumn looked around for potential customers to reel in. Then, she spotted some guy with douchebag attire sitting down on the curb. The first thing that came to her mind was Who is this standardized lamo on the edge of the sidewalk? Does he have a name?

"Yo, douchebag!" she shouted, getting his attention.

He walked over to the stand. "Say what?" he asked.

"Would you like to buy some lemonade?"

":?"

"A yellow beverage hailing from the plant species citrus x limon."

The douchebag slapped a dollar bill on the table. "Hit me up with two of those fuckers," he said.

Kodee poured two glasses of lemonade and handed them to the guy. He downed both of them instantly and walked away, burping once as he went.

"I wonder who's signing the books in there," Autumn said.

"Maybe J.K. Rowling," Kodee said.

"Ooo, or Christopher Paolini."

They clasped their hands together and dared to dream a dream. In this dream, they were in the store. And guess who was signing their books? I think the answer is way too obvious to be explained in a sentence. Let's just say that it was J.K. Rowling and Christopher Paolini.

Suddenly, a bus with groovy colors pulled up beside the curve. A bunch of hippies got out and walked over to the lemonade stand.

"Brooo," one of them said. "Check it out."

"That's a fairly good price in this economy," another said.

"Yeah, mean. Far out, dude."

"Would you like to buy some lemonade?" Autumn asked.

"Would I ever?"

"Would you."

"Yeah, man, that's why I'm here. Then again, why is anyone here? Whoa, that's deep. Hang on while I write that down in my journal."

He got out his journal and jotted in it.

"Hey, man, you're holding up the line!" yelled one of the hippie girls.

"Slow your drift," the hippie dude replied.

All of the hippies purchased lemonade and drove away with it in the van. Autumn counted up the cash. 10 Weed Dollars. Well, that was close enough. If anything, the girls could go to the bank to make a currency transfer.

The girls left the building and walked back to the stand.

"Wow, you sold a lot!" one of them exclaimed. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome," Autumn replied.

Autumn and Kodee left the stand so that the girls could go back to running it. They continued to explore the streets until they came to a McDonald's. They ate some lunch and carried on their way. They played at the park, went bowling at Stars and Strikes, and walked home as the sun was setting.

For dinner, the team ate ground beef and yellow rice. They Mountain Dew to go along with it and Strawberry ice cream for dessert.

As they were finishing up, they knew it was upon them. The next time they saw the light of day would be when they had to go to school. College, to be more exact. College was here, and it was stealing all of their miracles.

They moved the coffee table off to the side and sat in a circle on the rug in the center of the living room. They all held hands.

"who w1ll l34d us 1n 4 pr4y3r?" Latula asked.

Kodee raised his hand. "Meee!" he said.

"ok4y, go 4 1t."

Kodee joined his hand back with Autumn. "Dear heavenly Joshua. The road ahead is long and arcane, which bears heavily upon me, my brothers, and my sisters. We sit here before you, asking that you guide us through this intricate process. Allow us to drink in your elixir of life so that we may be strong. I carry with my no doubt in your unholy grace and your potential sacrifice-"

"8lah 8lah 8lah," Vriska said. "Enough of this ass kissing 8ullshit. Will you just cut to the point?"

"Josh, if you would please just help us keep a few of our marbles?"

"And let me get the bootay," Autumn added.

Kodee zonked Autumn on the head. "In the name of Joshua the great Homosapien Deity we pray, it's raining men."

"It's raining men," the rest of the team echoed.

They parted hands. There was a magical Josh aura in the room. Autumn was a bit worried she would burst into flames from all of the kinetic energy. You see, kinetic energy comes from motion, and the planet was travelling around the sun at a velocity of 30 kilometers per second. Thank you, Google.

Autumn and Kodee went upstairs to their room. It finally occurred to them that they needed to pack their stuff. They got all of it together in their bookbags and placed the bags by the door. They got together in bed.

"One last lovemaking dance before we start college?" Kodee said.

"Certainly."

They got down to what the sensitive people would call "the dance of springtime". In other words, they had sex. It was glorious and romantic.

Afterwards, they laid side by side together.

"See you in the morning, my dear," Kodee said before turning out his lamp.

Autumn turned out the lamp by her bed as well. Things would never be the same again. Or any moment afterwards. They were travelling through space, breaching the galaxy and hurtling around the sun as the planet moved in a constant circle. In a few million miles, they would be at the school.

* * *

Author's Note: At last, college is about to begin! If you made it this far, I bow to you.


	14. How to (Not) Start College

**EARTH JQ06, August 17, 2015.**

 **LEIVRELI, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.**

Before the alarm clock even went off, Autumn was up and eager to get ready for her first day of college. Last night in her dreams, she had blitzed her chakras and came the conclusion that this wasn't something to dread, but something to be excited about! There was no telling what was going to happen this time! A whole day of new experiences waited for her to take pursuit. The sky was the limit, by really it wasn't, since we put a man on the moon for crying out loud! There were no limitations!

She roused her precious Kodeekins from his adorable slumber because he needed to share the consciousness.

"Up and at em!" Autumn exclaimed.

He rubbed his eyes. Today was the big day.

They hopped out of bed and walked inside of their huge closet to select from their wardrobe. Autumn put on a soft pink, purple, and blue tye dye t-shirt; purple shorts, blue and pink feather earrings, soft blue sandals, and a blue and purple bow. Kodee wore a blue and turquoise tank top, a blue skirt, blue high heels, and a black fedora with a turquoise feather. They admired themselves in the mirror.

Autumn went to the nightstand by the bed and got out her glasses. It had been a while since she'd needed them. She had vision as good as a human with 20/20, but she wasn't a human. Her eyesight was supposed to be better than that. When she put them on, she regained the ability to zoom in on things change her hue recognition. The glasses were purple and cateye shaped.

Autumn stuffed an entire bag of Hot Cheetos in her bookbag just in case.

Autumn and Kodee went into the bathroom. Roxy and Nepeta were there freshening up, but these homies were just gonna have to move. Autumn brushed past them to get in front of the mirror. Her face was so close to it that she could see her reflection in her eyes. She brushed her teeth with glittery mint toothpaste and swallowed the toothpaste. Kodee hovered over everyone to see himself and rinsed his mouth with mouth wash. When he spit it out, it spewed all over the girls, so they all had to take a shower together.

Once that ordeal was over, everyone in Supernova sat at the table for some bacon. Bacon that Kodee cooked in the microwave.

10/10 Top Chef.

Everyone got their shit together and hopped in the van to drive to school. Autumn and Kodee sat in the driver's seat together so that they could take turns. In two miles, they made it to the school. They parked in the damn gravel because there was nowhere else to park.

It was 10:15. They may have arrived a TAD BIT early. Autumn and Kodee were eager to at least get to their class, so they went ahead and took off.

":33 Wait!" Nepeta meowed.

She ran to catch up with them. That's right. They had the same class.

They walked to the building they were meant to be in and Autumn paused at the entrance. She gazed up at its beautiful infrastructure and thought to herself, _Now is the time. In this moment, I am the star. This is me._

Okay, so this morning, when they went upstairs to their damn first period, some guy was standing in front of the door to their class. He handed them a map with glowing coordinates.

"This room's closed for maintenance," he said.

So, the homies valiantly followed the coordinates on the map. They soon realized why it was glowing. Deeper into the maze of hallways, they came to an area that was dark. There were only a few dim lights by the entrance to the restrooms. A muscular anthropomorphic dog was leaning against the wall with a cigarette in his mouth. Autumn may have made awkward eye contact with him a few times.

After navigating through the dark and mysterious hallway, they finally made it to the classroom they needed to be in. They were 37 minutes of ecstasy early, but that's okay 'cause they could see by looking through the window that the class was already packed.

"GREAT BALLS OF DICK!" Autumn exclaimed as she bust into the door. "Pardon my Czechoslovakian. WE'RE FINALLY HERE!"

There weren't many places to sit, so Autumn, Kodee, and Nepeta had to sit away from each other. The teacher was standing in front of the board, which had a glowing slideshow on it. He turned his head to face them. Then, he turned away.

Autumn, Kodee, and Nepeta were astonished because the teacher was in fact Gamzee Makara.

"aLrIgHt AlL yOu MoThErFuCkErS," he said to his pupils. "i WaNt YoU aLl To TaKe OuT yOuR tExTbOoKs AnD rIp ThEm Up. I dOn'T wAnT tHeM rUiNiNg ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE oF cInEmAtOgRaPhy."

And so all of the textbooks were torn to shreds. They were tossed into an oven at the front of the room to be burned.

"tHiS mOtHeRfUcKiNg PiEcE oF eQuIPmEnT wAs PuT hErE fOr ThE sAfE dEsTrUcTiOn Of PrOpErTy," Gamzee said. "LaSt MoThErFuCkInG tImE, i HaD a BoNfIrE iN tHe CeNtEr Of ThE rOoM, AnD tHaT's WhY It'S uNdEr MaInTenAnCe. sO rEmEmBeR, If YoU'rE gOiNG To BuRn BoOkS, uSe A mOtHeRfUcKiNg OvEn."

*The more you know!*

The students watched from their desks as the books they paid 50 dollars for were obliterated in a scholarly inferno. Gamzee sat in his spinning chair and grinned as he stared off into space. Then, he looked over at Autumn. He continued to stare, and Autumn wondered if she had done something wrong.

After the books were in ashes, Gamzee turned the oven off and walked back in front of the presentation board. He used a remote to go to the next slide. It said:

"sTuDeNt InTeRvIeW:

1) yOuR mOtHeRfUcKiNg NaMe PlEaSe

2) HoMeLanD

3) mAjOr

4) FaVoRiTe FiLm

5) FaVoRiTe MoViE gEnRe"

"aLrIgHt ThEn, AlL oF mY mOtHeRfUcKiNg BrOtHeRs AnD sIsTeRs," Gamzee said. "YoU'rE gOiNg To InTeRvIeW sOmEoNe yOu DoN't KnOw. YoU hAvE rOuGhLy FiVe MoThErFuCkInG mInUtEs."

Autumn turned to the person sitting beside her. She was an anthro maned wolf with a feather accessory tucked around her right ear.

"Would you like to go first?" the furry girl asked.

"For asking or answering the questions?" Autumn inquired.

"Either is fine."

"Okay. Sooo...what's your name?"

"Cyona."

Autumn began writing things down in her notebook. "Homeland?"

"Central Leivreli."

"And the other stuff?"

"My major is Fine Arts, my favorite movie is "The Room" and my favorite genre is comedy. And how about you."

Autumn cleared her throat. "Well," she said. "My name's Autumn Rose Rainbowlight III, but you can call me Autumn, Rosie, or RosieQ. I hail from the Pacific Ocean, my major is Early Childhood Education, my favorite movie is most certainly "Space Jam", and my favorite genre is comedy."

Cyona wrote all of it down in her notebook. "That's nice," she said. "Both of us are into comedy."

"Yeah," Autumn replied. "That's pretty dope."

There was an awkward silence for a while. Autumn looked at her schedule.

"You'know," she said. "I was a bit surprised to see so many people when I came in this early. I didn't even know we could come in so soon."

"You weren't early," Cyona said.

"Yes I was. Class starts at 11:00."

Autumn showed Cyona her schedule.

"You're in the wrong class," Cyona said. "This is the 10:00-10:50 period."

Autumn's eyes widened as the realization of her stupid mistake set in. "I didn't know there was one."

Autumn turned to Kodee. She lifted her schedule into the air and flailed it around. He shrugged. Autumn got up and brought it over to him and explained what the deal was. Then, they explained it to Nepeta. The three of them went to Gamzee, who was sitting at his desk.

"Umm, Mr. Makara?" Autumn asked.

"gAmZeE's FiNe," Gamzee replied.

"Oh, well, the thing is, we may have come to one of your earlier classes by mistake. We didn't realize you had a class before ours, so we thought that we were supposed to come in advance."

"wElL, tHaT mOtHeRfUcKiNg ClEaReD sOmE tHiNgS uP. i ThOuGhT yOu WeRe LaTe. LoOkS lIkE yOu WeRe WAY tOo MoThErFuCkInG eArLy."

"Do you want us to come back in for your next class?"

"DoN'T fUcKiN wOrRy AbOuT iT. No PoInT iN CoMiNg In TwIcE. JuSt Be In ThE RiGhT cLaSs NeXt TiMe."

Autumn, Kodee, and Nepeta sighed with relief. After they took their seats, the class presented their findings in the interviews. Turns out that Nepeta's favorite movie was "The Aristocats". Kodee's was "A Troll In Central Park", which Autumn already knew because the two of them were like two besties in a pod.

Once the class was over, the three Supernovites walked out into the fresh air. The walkways were filled with balloon arches containing the school colors- fuchsia, orange, turquoise, and blue.

Due to the class mix up, they now had two hours to do whatever they wanted. Nepeta left to find Roxy, leaving Autumn and Kodee together. The two lovers decided to check out the school's food inventory to perhaps get some lunch. They went down the walkway and to the Student Center, which had a poster advertising Chick Fil A.

"This must be the place," Autumn said.

They went inside the building and climbed the stairs. The ascent was painful because their bookbags were loaded up. Autumn was panting at the top of the stairs. They went around the corner and wound up in a place surrounded by bookshelves. A few people were standing around.

"Can someone tell me where I can order my food?" Autumn asked.

"You're in a library," someone replied.

"Oh."

Great Joshua in the land of snickerdoodles! They had fucked up again. This might even be worse than coming to class an entire period too early. Autumn had one last look around just to make sure there wasn't food around here before walking back downstairs with Kodee to continue on their quest for Chick Fil A. They re-examined the poster.

"Chick Fil A- Building A"

Son of a bitch. If only they'd read the entire ad.

Well, they took a long walk all the way to building A, and by this time, Autumn was about to collapse from the weight of her bookbag. Kodee took it and carried it for her.

Along the way, some guy handed them invitations to a party. Autumn stashed them in her magic purse.

The lovers finally reached the Chick Fil A, but alas, the line was stretching in all sorts of directions. At least 40 people must have been standing there waiting to order. The cashier was snorting some cocaine.

"I'm not waiting this long," Autumn said.

"Yeah," Kodee replied. "Let's eat what you packed."

They made the journey out to the grassy field near buildings C and B. Autumn and Kodee sat in a large chair together and munched on the bag of Hot Cheetos. Random passersby stopped to look and may have secretly wanted to ask for some, but they just carried about their business.

It was a cloudy day and so the entire campus was shaded. A gentle breeze blew through the air. Autumn loved cloudy skies because they reminded her of the ocean. Both were beautifully colored filled with water particles.

Autumn reached into her purse and pulled out the party invitations. She handed one to Kodee and looked at hers. It had a picture of a guy in a bikini standing on a cop car. The front said, "OFFICIAL START OF THE SEMESTA BASH". She flipped it over. The back said, "Slumber party! Chicks get in for free! FREE mechanical bull rides!"

"Sign me the fuck up!" Autumn exclaimed.

"We totes gotta go to this," Kodee replied.

"I'm cheap cause I got tits."

"That's real nice."

Kodee looked over his invitation. Dudes had to pay $10 to get in. This was blatant sexism! Then again, it encouraged there to be an exceptionally large showing of lady prizes. Autumn noticed the smug grin on his face and giggled.

Kodee ate a few more Cheetos and laid back to take a nap. While he was being a lazy samurai, Autumn decided to take a walk around campus. Might as well get more familiarized with the area.

She found her way to an area with few people walking around. As she rounded a corner, she spotted possibly one of the most terrifying creatures known to man.

A spider crab!

The thing was freaking gigantic. She'd had no idea that these things existed on Leivreli or anywhere in this realm for that matter. There was no way that she was going to let this thing multiply. She drew her katana from her magic purse and charged towards the spider crab with it. She sliced through the thing's body, causing its hideously long legs to sprawl everywhere. Once it was finally all the way down on the ground, she whacked it multiple times. Then, the picked it up and slammed it all around on the concrete. One of the legs broke off in her hand and she ran away with it.

She charged back onto the field, the detached leg flailing around in the air. She used it to whack Kodee on the head, bringing his nap to an abrupt halt.

"ということは、あなたの新しいディルドですか?!" Kodee asked.

(What was that for?!)

Autumn was seriously confused because she thought that Kodee could only speak French and English, with French being his first language. Luckily, Autumn also spoke shitty Japanese.

"野菜は、食品ガイドプレートから除去されなければなりません!" Autumn responded.

(There are freaking spider crabs on campus!)

"洗濯機!" Kodee replied. "私のディックを吸います!"

(Oh my Josh! That's terrible!)

"クロックは砂利の味を理解することはありません."

(Protect me, Kodee-Chan.)

Kodee held Autumn tight. She let the mangled leg drop to the ground, where moments later, a squirrel came and got it. The squirrel carried the spider crab limb up to his tree to present to his love interest. The love interest accepted the fetishistic gift and the two squirrels got it on.

Autumn and Kodee watched the squirrels make love. Autumn took a picture of it on her phone and posted it to Tumblr. It instantly got two likes.

The time for their second class was approaching, so Autumn and Kodee decided to go ahead and head to where they needed to be. They went inside Building B and made their way up the stairs only because the elevator was packed.

Roxy and Nepeta were with a bunch of other students outside the classroom.

"sup," Roxy said.

"Yo," Autumn replied. "How's it goin'?"

"pretty good. nepeekins ova here found sum free seafood on the sidewalk and captchalogued it fo later."

"It didn't happen to be a spider crab, did it?" Autumn asked.

"yeah thats totes what it waz."

Autumn stared into the distance. Looks like this is what they would be having for dinner tonight. She turned to Kodee and he nodded.

After about a minute, everyone realized they could go ahead and enter the classroom. It was a big room with long tables. There was a whiteboard on the left side of the wall opposite to the door. On the right side of that same wall, there was a Smartboard. The window on the left wall had a lovely view of the campus with a tree off to the right side. The teacher wasn't here yet.

Autumn and Kodee sat side by side at the right of the front row. Nepeta sat to Autumn's right and Roxy sat to Nepeta's right. Terezi came in and took a seat behind Autumn.

"H3LLO 4LL YOU N3RDS :]," she said.

"Greetings," Autumn replied.

Kodee pulled a pack of Nerds candy out of his bookbag. What, was he waiting on that? He handed it to Terezi. The Nerds were cherry flavored.

"WHY, TH4NK YOU," Terezi replied. She opened the pack and took a big whiff. Then, she dumped all of the candy into her mouth.

While everyone was getting situated, Mr. teacher walked in. He was a black anthro horse, about middle aged, with pale silver eyes. His raven black mane flowed gracefully down the right side of his head. He had a huge horse dick that wasn't covered by anything because he was wearing absolutely zero clothing.

Autumn wished that the Zahacks were here to see this. She turned around and saw that Equius and Horuss were sitting in the back of the class. What luck! That must mean Aranea's team was here, too!

Kanaya and Rose were also there, and they were holding hands. Aww. A few seats down, Dave Strider was chilling back in his seat.

"Greetings, class," the horse man said. "My name is Mr. Obsidian. Welcome to History I, and if this isn't where you're supposed to be, leave now."

A giraffe named Falconlover got up and left.

Mr. Obsidian looked around at everyone else. "Well, then, it's nice to see all of you. I'll pass around an attendance sheet. Be sure to write down your name or you will be marked absent."

He passed around a sheet. After that, he went into a lecture about what everyone would be learning in his class. He went on about the atomic bomb and how civilization went on to create a bomb powerful enough to blow up 14 planets.

"This bomb still exists today," he said. "It's hidden deep within one of America's most secret locations."

That was a bit unnerving. Anyway, he also talked about the beatniks, which later evolved into hippies.

"Now remember class," Mr. Obsidian said as he beat his iron hoof down on one of the desks. "Hippies and hipsters are two completely different things. Hippies smoke pot and hipsters complain about whatever is cool at the time. Hippies have also been around for a much longer period of time, way before hipsters were cool, so the hipsters can just calm the fuck down. Anyway, onwards to the creatures we call 'yippies'."

Autumn was fascinated by everything this teacher had to say. She took notes on key facts in history that he planned to go over in detail throughout the semester.

For third period, Autumn, Kodee, and Terezi had Computer Class together. They headed there right after History ended, since they didn't get a long break between these classes. Latula flew by them on a skateboard.

"yo, yo!" she called. "w4z up!"

"Do you even have a class here today?" Autumn asked.

"nop3, just fuck1ng 4round try1ng 2 f1nd m1t2n4!"

"Good luck!"

Latula skated into the distance until she was out of sight. Autumn, Kodee, and Terezi entered Building C and walked down the hall. They were soon able to enter their third block classroom. The floor was made of dark blue pixels that briefly turned turquoise wherever they stepped. The areas around the tables were covered in dark purple carpet. The computers were the latest hi tech equipment. In fact, they were so high tech that they may even be from the future!

A strip of dark purple carpet lined the wall in the front of the room, which contained a huge Smartboard. The teacher walked in front of it. She was a human with azure shoulder length hair with indigo highlights. She had turquoise eyes and black glasses with square frames. She was wearing a purple Japanese kimono outfit.

"Kawaii!" Autumn exclaimed.

"Hello," she said. "My name is Ms. Azeria and welcome to Computing Class!"

She walked up to her computer to set up a video. It glitched out on her, so she had to stop to fix the problem.

Autumn used this time to have a look around to see who was here. The only person she could recognize was Eridan Ampora. That guy was leaning against his desk all lonely and such.

"wwhy does the fanbase hate me?" he whimpered.

He really needed to get laid. Autumn was kind of turned on at the moment, so she began thinking of strategies to get with him. Maybe if the teacher was busy with her technology crisis long enough, she could bring him out of the room.

Before she could act, Kodee jumped to the rescue.

"I don't hate you," he said.

"r-really?" Eridan asked.

"Sure, now do me."

They held hands and walked out of the room. Terezi looked at Autumn.

"YOUR BOYFR13ND 1S W31RD," she said.

"I was going to bang Eridan first," Autumn said.

Terezi tilted her head with even more confusion. I know, it's hard to understand. Eridan is just so hot and gorgeous. Maybe one day, we can all appreciate his glorious dick.

Also, Autumn and Kodee weren't dating! They were soulmates slash morails with benefits slash whatever. Kodee had explained it better in one of the earlier parts of da story.

Meanwhile…

Kodee and Eridan were in like the boy's bathroom stall meant for handicap people. It was time for some kinky gay sex. Kodee took off his shirt and flung it into the air, knocking his fedora off in the process. Then, he removed his undergarments. Eridan removed his own clothes and pressed Kodee to the wall. They both made out gayly and passionately. Their penises rubbed against one another.

After the kissing was done, Eridan bent Kodee over and did him in the gluteus maximus. Kodee held onto the toilet paper dispenser for support. They both came at the same time, coating the bathroom floor with manly jizz. That was the janitor's problem, not theirs.

They got dressed and walked back into the classroom together. Everyone was staring at them except for the teacher, who was still trying to fix the computer. Damn technology these days was just too damn complicated.

"How did it go?" Autumn asked.

"It was funarific," Kodee replied. "It kind of hurts to sit."

"Now you know how I feel."

The more you know! *Rainbow!*

Ms. Weeaboo finally finished solving the problem and pulled up a video about the importance of technology today. Everyone watched intently. The guy who created Facebook made a cameo and talked about how his career started because he wanted a simple site that he and his siblings could use to communicate. Autumn thought it would be cool if she could do something like that. Maybe, she could use this class to become famous again!

Yes, Autumn was famous at some point because of something that happened during her tragic backstory, but we'll get to that later.

At the end of class, there was a big confusion because lots of people, including Autumn's posse, were supposed to leave at 3:15, but Ms. Azeria's schedule said 3:45! Thankfully, she let the 3:15 people go.

Autumn and Kodee headed to math class together. It was a long and torturous walk, especially with all of those books. Autumn managed to tough it out with any help this time, resisting any and all help offers from Kodee. They went to Building A and walked into the giant room that was their math class. In the back, there were many rows of seats, each row sitting higher off the floor going back. The front wall of the room was curved and the floors were tiled with blue and jade tiles. In the center of the front of the room, there was a giant beanstalk. This was the teacher.

"I am the Great Beanstalk of Knowledge," quoth he. "But you may call me Mr. Beanstalk."

Autumn had heard about him in legends. He had fed Joshua's disciples when they were on the verge of starvation, allowing them to continue on their quests to become Pokémon masters.

Autumn looked around the room to see who else was here. Karkat was sitting in the back of class, John was in the center row, and a few seats down, there were Arbus and Ater from _The Grey Garden_.

"Today shall be a simple day of rules and expectations. First off, I want you to know that is the lowest of the low math classes for those who don't really need it."

Autumn was already feeling content in this class. She used to be good at math, but then middle school hit. Middle school was a bitch- not just academically, but because all of those pre-pubescent spawns of Satan used to antagonize her.

Anyway, Mr. Beanstalk went on to discuss the course. He asked everyone to write a paper about themselves for homework and dismissed them half an hour early. Woo hoo!

Autumn was beginning to get hungry. She and Kodee had eaten all of the Cheetos, so she decided to get something out of the vending machine. The machine only accepted $1 bills, but all Autumn had were 10's and 20's. With all of the great technology at this school, you think the people in charge would install a more money efficient piece of equipment. Autumn tried her debit card, but it failed.

She walked with Kodee outside and headed with him on a long trek towards Building B. There was bound to be food there. The heat and bookbag weight caused Autumn to become so fatigued that she coughed up blood. Kodee took the bookbag from her and stacked it on top of his own.

They went inside and took a trip to the bagel shop near the study hall. They bought a cinnamon sugar bagel to share and went to one of the round white tables to eat. Autumn put one end in her mouth. Kodee latched his teeth on the other end and they did tug of war like dogs, scattering cinnamon everywhere.

By the time they were finished eating, it was time to return home. They walked to the van where the others were waiting for them. Latula drove everyone back to the house.

Everyone was kind of exhausted from all of the learning and shit, so they went to their rooms for a while to chill and goof off. Hours went by, and Autumn and Kodee went into the kitchen to cook. Nepeta handed Kodee the mangled spider crab. Autumn shrieked.

":33 Fur you," Nepeta said.

Kodee took it and placed it in the sink. He cleaned it off with dish soap and hot water and put it in a large pan full of butter. He slid that thing right into the oven and set the temperature to the appropriate level.

"I'm not eating that shit," Autumn said.

"You have to," Kodee replied. "I'm the head chef. I get to decide."

Nepeta stood close to the oven and smelled the seafood. The aroma was delicious. Terezi also stood next to the oven and inhaled the scent. To her, it kind of also smelled like cherries, cause' she could smell colors and crabs were red.

The rain began to pour outside. Kodee took the crab out of the oven and they all ate it in the living room.

"soo, how w4z 3v3ryon3's dayz?" Latula asked.

"It was totally rad," Autumn replied. "I almost died, but thankfully, I didn't."

"oh?"

"Yeah, the bookbag thing. I'm gonna need to purchase a rolling bookbag."

"Not me," Kodee said. "I'm strong."

"Good for you."

Autumn bit right into her crab leg. The shell crunched under her teeth and squirted the juice of the meat into her mouth.

"I didn't have class today," Vriska said. "I walked home and stayed there for a while."

"KOD33 4ND 3R1D4N W3R3 DO1NG N4UGHTY TH1NGS," Terezi divulged.

"EWW!"

"Quit bashing on Eridan!" Autumn exclaimed. "He's a decent person! By the way, Kodee, I was supposed to have him today."

"You were too slooooow," Kodee replied.

"l3t's g3t th1s sh1z b4k on tr4ck," Latula said. "w3 w3r3 t3ll1ng stor13z."

"Oh, right," Autumn said. "Who wants to go next?"

":33 M33!" Nepeta exclaimed. "Roxy and I got candy fur being the furst to answer a question!"

"mmm," Roxy said. "it waz fuckin delish."

"What type of candy was it?"

"butterscotch."

"Eww."

"dont diss the scotch, gurl."

Latula did a rad hairflip. "1 got 4n 1nv1t4t1on to 4 rock1ng 4w3som3 p4rty th1s fr1d4y!"

"no way!" Roxy exclaimed. "me 2."

Turns out that everybody got one. They all held up their initiations as a show of proof. Totally awesome coolkids, these people were.

"We're totally going to that party," Autumn said.

"of cours3 w3 ar3," Latula said. "l34d3r's ord3rs." She motioned to herself. "th343'z no w4y my t34m 1z m1ss1ng out on som3th1ng so k1ck1ng r4d!"

Everyone cheered.

"oh, 4nd 1 4lmost forgot to br1ng som3th1ng to 3v3ryon3's 4tt3nt1on," Latula said. The peeps were silent so they could hear. "4r4n43's whol3 t34m 1s on c4mpus. th3 whol3 coll3g3 th1ng 1s 4 probl3m th4t h4z 4ff3ct3d us on 4 glob4l sc4l3. LO4 1s throw1ng p3opl3 out of the HQ r1ght 4nd l3ft, 4nd 1t's b3g1nn1ng to dr4w susp1c1on from 1ts m3mb3rs. r3m3mb3r now th4t w3'r3 only pr3t3nd1ng to st1ll b3 p4rt of th3 l34gu3 of 4w3som3, 4nd 4t th1s po1nt 1t w1ll b3 h3lpful for g3tt1ng v4lubl3 1nform4t1on."

Everyone nodded.

The rain was coming down hard like a mofo. When Autumn looked outside through the back door, it was nearly impossible to see through all of the torrent. Bright lighting flashed, followed seconds later by thunder. It kaboomed so loud that she could feel it. Even Meulin probably could've heard that shit from if she was there.

The thunder continued on for an hour. Once, the power went out for about a minute. The storm didn't seem to want to recede. Another giant thunderboom erupted outside, causing the house to shake.

"Alright," Autumn said, clearly starting to get annoyed. "That needs to quit."

Everyone else was getting pissed, too, because it was disrupting the TV signal. Nepeta used this time to ship some of her new classmates. She made use of all four quadrants to put together her majesty matchmaking desires.

At last, the storm subsided and Autumn and Kodee went off to bed. It had been a long motherfucking day. They had some kinky pillow sex before going off to sleep.

* * *

 **EARTH JQ06, August 18, 2015.**

 **LEIVRELI, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.**

Tuesday meant no school for Autumn and Kodee. Roxy and Terezi also had the day off to do whatever the heck they wanted.

When Vriska, Latula, and Nepeta left, they took the magical flying van with them, thereby leaving the others with no driving options. Autumn and Kodee decided that they would need a vehicle of their own to get around. They flew into Minet City and found their local car dealership. It was a huge place filled with a wide variety of vehicles. When they looked to their left, they saw nothing but lines and lines of cars.

A man in a glittery cowboy uniform walked up to them.

"You, how 'bout a car?" he offered.

"Are you a seller?" Autumn asked.

"Indeed I am. Come on with me; we've got a fine selection of driving equipment that is sure to delight even the pickiest of roadgoers."

Autumn and Kodee followed the man down the lot to a shiny red Ferrari.

"This thing makes so much noise that it will sound like you was mauling a T-Rex," the man said.

Autumn and Kodee looked at each other. "Uhh…" they said.

"Maybe not," the man said.

He brought them over to a giant army jeep. Autumn was thinking the whole time how the hell she would ever be able to park that thing.

"This has 690 horsepower," the man said. "It'll get you where you need to go."

"Perhaps we should have a look around," Kodee said.

"Well, suit yourselves."

Autumn and Kodee walked away from the man to search on their own. They knew instantly which car they wanted when they laid eyes on it. It was a 2015 Honda Civic with a teal coat and cobalt streaks down the sides. The seats were pale periwinkle cotton fleece.

"Mr. Car Man!" Autumn explained.

The salesman walked over to them. "Yes, dear lady?"

"We want this one!"

"Alrightie then. Now all you have to do is pay the fee and prove that you can parallel park it."

"Say whaaaat?"

"That's right. Leivreli law requires each buyer to be able to parallel park their car before they can keep it. You'll have to drive this baby to the road testing facility behind the dealership before you can do anything else."

Okay, so Autumn and Kodee were handed the shiny key to the car. They hopped in and drove to the facility where they had to wait in line. Blue flames blazed from the tailpipe. They were then given a number and took a seat in one of the rows in front of the reception desks to wait for that number to be called. Lame.

Autumn examined the number. It was 665, just a number away from 666. 666 was considered to be evil among Christians and Joshuans alike because its dark swirliness was associated with the Illuminati. The Illuminati used to just be this rebel group of people trying to overthrow the government, but it later faded into behind the depths of common knowledge and secret organizations were working to seek it out.

Anyway, back to the stupid driving test. Their number was called and they went to the car with a test administrator. Autumn sat in the driving seat, the administrator sat in the passenger seat, and Kodee chilled in the back.

Autumn was nervous about this test. She was a failure at many things both logical and incomprehensible. Now, she had to maneuver a vehicle sideways into a designated area.

Nevertheless, she passed, and victory went to her and Kodee. The two lovers drove back to the car dealership with their certificate of not sucking and paid the fine of 100,000 Goober Dollars. Then, they drove out of there. When Autumn turned on the radio, the Space Jam theme song was playing. She cranked it up to full blast. It seemed that the universe was on her side today. Thank Josh. Too bad the universe was only a concept of infinity's vastness or otherwise Autumn would have totally had sex with it as a thank-you.

Along the way home, they stopped by a store where Autumn purchased a rolling bookbag for herself. It had a leopard print with a teal, blue, and purple background and purple zippers. She brought it in the house and moved everything from her other bookbag into this new bookbag.

After that, Kodee and Autumn realized that they needed to watch "Princess Mononoke." It had been a while since they'd seen it. So, they sat down and watched it. It was so epic that they decided to become wolves. Their fur was pure white just like the ones from the movie. They ran out into the backyard to have an epic duel.

Autumn charged with her wolfie paws and pounced for Kodee. Kodee dodged and lunged for her side, knocking her onto the ground. She got up and dashed away. Kodee took pursuit, panting wildly. Autumn leapt onto the roof of the house and howled to the sky. Kodee joined her.

"OOOOoooooOOOO!"

Enough of that. They turned back into humans and leapt into the grass below. More pretend games lied ahead.

They went up to their room where Autumn decided to start her own imaginary fast food stand. She used a toy chest as the counter.

Kodee walked up to it. "I would like to order a sandwich," he said.

"Yes, sir," Autumn replied. "One sandwich coming up." She reached into the toy chest and pulled out a few wooden blocks. She stacked them together and handed them to Kodee. "Here you go."

"This isn't a real sandwich. Get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich I can be proud of."

"Shit, it's not supposed to be a real sandwich, you blockhead. Now eat the damn thing before I jump over the counter and bust your jaw."

Kodee shoved the mass of building blocks in his mouth and bit hard. It tasted like wood and broken dreams. The broken dreams of a fast food cashier who wanted to act on Broadway but never got the chance. It also hurt like hell to chew.

"I don't want to eat this," Kodee said.

"Okay," Autumn replied. "Then throw it out the window."

The windows couldn't be opened because they were pretty much what the walls were made of, so Kodee went out onto the deck to toss the bitten blocks. They fell into the bushes below. Kodee went back inside.

"You deserve to be fired," Kodee said.

"You should tell your friends about this place," Autumn said. "Then there will be someone who knows your pain."

"Okay."

Kodee went and got Roxy and Terezi. They walked up to the counter (toy box) to order some food.

"WH4T DO YOU H4V3?" Terezi asked.

"Sandwiches," Autumn replied.

Autumn reached into the toy box and pulled out some wooden building blocks. They were pale brown, which meant they carried a lame scent for Terezi.

"1F YOU COLOR TH3M W1TH M4RK3RS, TH4T M1GHT M4K3 TH3M 3D1BL3," Terezi said.

Autumn got some scented markers out of the drawer by her work desk. There was really no point in the markers being scented; we've established many times over that Terezi smells colors, which just makes this redundant. Autumn colored three of the blocks with red, teal, yellow, and green. She stacked them up and handed them to Terezi.

Terezi held onto the "sandwich" for a moment, wondering if she was really going to eat it. She thought, _4H, WH4T TH3 H3CK_ , and put it in her mouth. Her pointed teeth grinded into it. The outside was tasty and colorful, but the inside was still just the dull wood color. She threw it on the floor.

"Okay, next," Autumn said.

Terezi moved aside so that Roxy could place her order.

"do u hav any drinks?" Roxy asked.

"Umm," Autumn said. She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Yes."

"hit me up wit some alchomahol plz."

Autumn went to the mini fridge and pulled out a Mountain Dew. She handed it to Roxy.

"Here you go," she said. "I hope this works on you like it works on me."

Roxy opened it and guzzled some of it down.

"nope, feeling pretty sober," Roxy said.

"Nobody is happy with my service," Autumn said. "I quit."

Kodee, Terezi, and Roxy cheered. After that, Terezi and Roxy left the room to go do something else.

It was time for Autumn to stop procrastinating and do her homework. She pulled out a leaf of paper and a plum glitter pen and got to writing.

"Name: Autumn Rose Rainbowlight III

Date: 8-18-15

Behold my awesome name found in the header. I am Autumn. I leak awesomeness, but no need to worry, for that which flows out of me easily gets replaced. My hobbies include sex, drugs, and goofing off. I don't really have a favorite anything, except for Kodee. So, if you ask me what my favorite color is, I'm going to say Kodee. Favorite drink? Kodee. Favorite movie? Okay, maybe Space Jam, but also Kodee!

Sometimes, when I have nothing else to do, I turn on the microwave and listen to the soft purr. It calms me down.

As far as relationships go, I have a complicated romantic affiliation with Kodee and my black quadrant is filled by Vriska, a huge bitch. If you see her, perhaps you can use your vines to whack her around a few times. I would very much appreciate that."

That seemed like the perfect introduction to give to her teacher. She stuck it in a folder and put it in her bookbag.

Later that day, Vriska, Latula, and Nepeta came home. Nepeta had collected x1 Spider Crab and x2 Geese for the team's dinner. Kodee didn't want to serve sidewalk-kill for the second evening in a row, so she was just going to have to share that with her cat. She went in her room to do just that. Eww, rhyming.

Over dinner, the team discussed their days. Latula told everyone that she had found Mituna but hadn't gotten any more information on LOA. She had, however, learned more about the party. Turns out that Meenah was hosting it at her huge, giant mansion!

Everyone cheered with glee because they were so ready to get down at the party on Friday! Too bad, today was only Tuesday. I don't care what anyone says; Tuesdays are worse than Mondays! At least on Monday, people have just had their two day long break and could maybe use some work to do. On Tuesday, work has already gotten tiresome and then there is still almost the entire week to go. It's evil. Pure evil!

* * *

 **EARTH JQ06, August 19, 2015.**

 **LEIVRELI, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.**

Ohmigod it's Wednesday. We had to get out of that hardly mentionable yesterday existence we call a Tuesday. Also, autocorrect tried to change "Ohmigod" to amigo. What the actual cavalier double decker baloney Swiss cheese?

Autumn and Kodee leapt out of bed. It was another day of school, another day of knowledge engulfment. They drove to school on their ownest and went to the building of driver services to get a special parking pass. They parked their sweet ride in the super cool parking garage on the third floor. Rather than walking, they flew all the way to the building that held their first class. Yay!

Nepeta didn't have school today, so Autumn and Kodee walked to their first period class alone. They navigated down the dark, scary hallways and wound up in a large room with a pool. Small lights on the walls illuminated the area in pink. Autumn leapt into the pool.

A tour guide walked by here with a couple of the new transfer students. "And here we have the water unit. It filters the water out to be sent into drinking fountains around the school."

Autumn jumped out of the water and ran away. Kodee went with her. She was soaking wet, so she had to go into the creepy restroom down the hall to change. Luckily, she had some spare clothes in her magic purse. She put on a purple top, a black bra, black panties, and a black skirt. Kodee watched her change from around the corner.

The lovers continued onwards and at last located their classroom. They were right on time this time. Gamzee beckoned them inside.

"wElcOmE tO yOuR pRoPeR fIrSt pErIoD cLaSs," he said.

Kodee and Autumn bowed to him and took a seat side by side at the front of the class. Feferi and Jade were there.

"gOoDmOrNiNg MoThErFuCkErS," Gamzee said. "tOdAy We'Re GoNnA vIeW a SlIdEsHoW oN fIlM."

He pulled up the first picture of the slideshow. It had a picture of two juggalos having sex while a third juggalo videotaped it. He went through the slides, which were pretty much juggalos and porn. Then, he went to YouTube and clicked on a clip from the movie "It". Autumn started giggling because she found everything about that movie hilarious. She couldn't not laugh at clowns.

While the clip was rolling, Gamzee sat off to the side in his swivel chair. He was starting to get an erection. Autumn ceased laughing and looked at it, grinning. The shape of it was clearly visible through his polka-dot shorts. Gamzee grasped his member and held it tightly. His gaze moved from lala land over to Autumn. He made a motion with his finger for her to come to him. She did as he commanded. He let his shorts fall to the floor, causing his erection to spring free.

Autumn knew what she had to do. She took off her skirt and underwear. She was a bit nervous because she had a large audience, but this was film class. It time to shine bright like a diamond.

She sat in Gamzee's lap, Gamzee's member entering her body and causing her to moan. He grabbed onto her and slowly thrusted her up and down. The "Wizard of Oz" theme song began to play in her head. His movements became faster, causing her to cry with ecstasy.

Tears fell from Kodee's face- not out of jealousy, but because it was such a beautiful performance. He watched that and the "It" clip simultaneously while munching on popcorn.

Gamzee and Autumn reached a climax, sending juices running down their legs. Gamzee lifted her off of him. She stood on the floor and put all of her clothes back on.

"50 pOiNtS eXtRa CrEdIt," Gamzee said. "nOw TaKe A mOtHeRfUcKiNg SeAt."

Autumn skipped back to her seat and sat beside Kodee. Kodee wanted the remainder of the Gamzee cum, so he got between Autumn's legs and licked it all up. The video ended and he got back in his chair.

A bunch of other learning took place and the class was released. Autumn and Kodee hit the Chick Fil A again, and this time, they braved the line. It moved along pretty fast. Both of them ordered chicken and waffle fries. They ate their food outside at one of the round tables with blue umbrellas.

Next, they journeyed to History class, where they had to take notes. Different people were here today, such as Sollux and Aradia. Mr. Obsidian covered the windows and used the entire period to present a historical PowerPoint.

It was onward to Computer class. Eridan, Sollux, Vriska, and Latula were here. Autumn and Kodee sat side by side as usual. They were directly across the room from Eridan where they could wink at him and make kissy faces.

"Ampora," Autumn said seductively. She batted her eyelashes and swayed her body in the comfy leather swivel seat.

Eridan winked at her. Kodee blew him a kiss and she caught it.

"What the fuck?" demanded Sollux, who had witnessed the whole thing.

"Those two are in lust with Eridan," Vriska replied.

"Fuckiing eww."

Ms. Azeria appeared from her desk and walked to the center of the classroom. She spent the first part of class talking about a project that everyone must partake in. Then, she got to assigning groups.

"You two," she said, pointing to Autumn and Kodee, "Work with the people over there."

She motioned to a group of anthropomorphs. Autumn and Kodee walked over to them and took their seats in some nearby chairs.

"Alright, so what was it the teacher wanted us to do?" said a furry shiba inu with white fur and black spots. She was wearing square rimmed glasses.

"We has to research how the info on the internet is helpful or harmful," replied a pale pink Chihuahua furry with mint green eyes. "You should of paid attention, Furfrou."

"The name is Frufru. I told you that at least six times."

"Quit arguing," replied a golden hamster furry with a squirrel tail and brown markings over her face. "I swear, you two are so dumb. I'm going to disown you as friends."

Autumn and Kodee looked at each other. At this rate, they were doomed.

They looked to their own remaining partner, an anthropomorphic snowshoe hare with a black heart outline around her right eye. She was typing away at her laptop.

"Seems like we're going to need to meet outside of class if we're going to get this done on time," said the hamster furry. "Bunny, can you write down everyone's information and make sure it gets to all members of the group."

"The name's Frosalys," she replied. "I'd be happy to collect information. I'll need your social security number, date of birth, full legal name, password to all-"

"Hang on. I just need you to collect names and phone numbers."

"Okay. What would your name be?"

"Flanzia." She motioned to the shiba and Chihuahua. "These are my idiot friends, Frufru and Shellbiee."

Flanzia gave out numbers while Frosalys typed away.

"What about you two?" Frosalys asked, motioning to Autumn and Kodee.

They gave her their information as well. For the rest of class, the group tried to work out a plan. Frosalys got up and left in the middle of it.

Meanwhile, Vriska, Latula, Sollux, and Eridan were working together in a group.

"You're to so called computer whiz," Vriska said. "You do the project."

"ii'm not gonna work whiile you a22holes lay around and nap."

"Well 222222222 8ad!"

"How fuckiing dare you."

"guyzz!" Latula exclaimed. "pull your sh1t tog3th3r."

"lat is right," Eridan added. "wwe must wwork together as a team."

"I don't want to 8e in a group with you," Vriska replied.

A tear fell down Eridan's face.

Okay, so this is how it goes with fucking partners at school. Once class was over, Autumn and Kodee headed to Math with Vriska and Latula. It was a long journey from point C to point A.

"I h8 my group," Vriska said.

"My group makes zero sense," Autumn said.

"At least they're tolera8le."

"You have no idea. Were you even watching us?"

"No; I was too 8usy dealing with losers."

"1'm no los3r," Latula said.

"I meant everyone 8esides you."

"just mak1n' sure ;]"

They reached the class of mathematics. Karkat was here as well as John, Dirk, Jake, Flanzia, Frufru, and Shellbiee. Everyone took their seats. Mr. Beanstalk was in his spot at the front center of the room, as he couldn't really move with being a beanstalk and all. Poor dude.

"Good afternoon," he said.

No one replied.

"Good afternoon!" Autumn exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Kodee added. "Good afternoon!"

Mr. Beanstalk passed out the attendance sheet. Class was officially in session, and thus, no one expected anymore visitors. Mr. Beanstalk took the sheet up using one of his many vines and placed it on a table off to the side. He motioned to the whiteboard to his right. A presentation began to play on it. Everyone grabbed a worksheet off the table and began to take notes on it. Mr. Beanstalk went over various types of probability.

Then, out of nowhere, a furry lime green elephant creature came bursting through the door. "I KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM!" he shouted.

"That's really mature," Mr. Beanstalk replied. "Who are you and why are you barging into my class?"

"My name is Fred FredBurger and I can spell my name real good. F-R-E-D-F-R-E-D-B-U-R-G-E-…R! Fred FredBurger, YES!"

"Yes, and why are you here?"

"I'm your student and I'm also late. I was late this one time because I had to stop for frozen yogurt, yes. There were so many flavors to choose from, like mint, chocolate banana…um…mint…"

Karkat clenched his fists. "WILL SOMEONE DO A VINCENT VAN GOGH ON MY EARS SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS ASSHAT?"

"My mama said to never use that word."

"Fred FredBurger," Mr. Beanstalk said. "Will you please just take a seat?"

Fred FredBurger took a seat right next to Karkat. Karkat was seething with rage that burned within his tortured soul.

Once Mr. Beanstalk was done going over the notes, he told everyone to pair up and work on the worksheet problems together. Naturally, Autumn and Kodee teamed up. They were able to figure everything out with ease.

"Hey," Flanzia said. "Wanna compare answers?"

"Sure," Autumn replied.

They compared answers. Everything was a perfect match. Frufru and Shellbiee walked up to Flanzia.

"Hey, can we has a look?" Shellbiee asked.

"Sure, what'ja get?" Flanzia asked.

Shellbiee showed them her paper. It was blank. So was Frufu's.

"You two are so stupid," Flanzia said. "Have you even thought over the project?"

"No," Shellbiee replied.

"You, Frufru and I need to discuss it through email."

"You know I only check my mail every once a month."

Flanzia did a face palm. She used her free hand to block them. "Say no more," she said. "You have failed me as friends. Go to your desks and reevaluate your lives."

Her friends departed.

"You two," Flanzia said, pointing to Autumn and Kodee. "You're my friends now. You have brains."

That was a lot to live up to. They weren't sure if they were ready to take on the responsibility of being considered smart. Dangerous things happened to smart people. Stephen Hawking had been lucky to rise to Josh Tier when he did or otherwise the vultures would have gotten him.

"Okay, students," Mr. Beanstalk said. "Bring forth your homework from last night so that thou can by judged."

Everyone who did the assignment passed their work to the front of the room. Mr. Beanstalk picked up the papers with his vines and pulled them into his body. Then, he dismissed the class.

Autumn and Kodee got into their shiny car and drove home. That evening, it rained hard again. Thunder rumbled over the floating island and water drenched all of the plants.

Terezi was on the porch swing out back, and Vriska was cuddled up next to her. Both girls were quiet as they watched the rain fall. Terezi didn't actually watched, but she could hear the patter of it on the grass beyond the porch.

"If only you could see how 8eautiful you are," Vriska said.

"M3?" Terezi asked.

"Yeah. Who else could I 8e talking to?"

Terezi blushed. Vriska leaned in and gave her a kiss. They continued to snuggle as the weather went from bad to worse. As long as they had each other, they weren't scared.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Homestuck, The Grey Garden, or The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy!


	15. Red Eyes

**Author's Note: The following flashback is based off of a story that I wrote when I was nine. Please bear with me.**

* * *

 **EAR** **TH JQ06, August 20, 2015.**

 **LEIVRELI, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.**

Thursday was another day that Autumn and Kodee had off. After breakfast, they went outside and got on the swings. The sky was clouded with silver and white, giving everything a silver tone.

Autumn watched as a crow spread its wings and lifted off from the grass. It brought back memories of eleven years ago. Back when a series of events led to her temporary fame. This wasn't merely a tragic backstory but an epic backstory.

* * *

 **EARTH JQ06, August 14, 2004.**

 **PARIS, FRANCE.**

Times were different back in 2004. A lot of things that existed now didn't exist then. This was before all of the VHS tapes were burned and before Obama became president. The economy was still in a somewhat stable condition. However, the most noticeably different characteristic of all within this time period was the segregation of cartoon characters from all other lifeforms. No one could find where these characters were living. It was a mystery even to science.

Autumn was on a mission to find the cartoon characters. She was currently with Kodee, and they were at the back of the playground at their daycare. Both of them were digging through the ground with sticks, trying to find Cartoon World. Autumn believed it existed because she had seen that cartoons lived in the center of the Earth after watching Space Jam with Huefire when she was only three years old.

They dug and dug every day for over a month. Their childhood friends would sometimes join in, but eventually, no one came around to help. They became recluses and were the laughing stocks of both their daycare and their elementary school. Those "dinosaur bones" they'd thought they'd discovered along the way turned out to be deeply embedded tree roots.

But then, a miracle struck. When the caretaker called for everyone to come inside, Autumn and Kodee stayed behind to keep at their work. It was good to get some quiet from the laughter. Then, when Autumn struck her stick in the ground, the dirt collapsed beneath it and fell into oblivion. There was only blackness down that hole. At last, she'd found something. No more being made fun of. No more disappointment. She dived into the hole face first.

"Autumn, no!" echoed Kodee's voice behind her.

She accelerated down a slide through the darkness. An amber light shone in the distance and she was soon met with bright colors. The Looney Tunes theme song began to play. She carried on down the slide, which was blue and red. It curved into the air and ended abruptly, sending her over a pit of lava. She made a safe landing on the other side, and the slide carried her many miles underground. She came to a large park filled with trees and such. Cartoons ran to greet her.

Moments later, Kodee slid down behind her safe and sound. Autumn and Kodee, only eight at the time, befriended a bunch of these characters and became well known throughout that realm. They returned to the surface world with new knowledge and decided to keep it a secret from everyone else.

* * *

 **CARTOON WORLD, September 26, 2004.**

 **TEMPORAL VALLEY, THE UNITED DISTRICTS OF COMEDY.**

Tom Cat and Jerry Mouse were taking a leisurely stroll down the street. Rather than fight, they wanted to relax for a day. Along the way, they met up with an anthropomorphic crow. Like all crows, this one had pure black feathers. His beak and legs were silver and he had cartoonish eyes.

"Hi there," he said. "What are your names?"

"My name's Tom," Tom replied, not bothering to keep his ability to vocalize a secret. That movie had screwed him over.

"I'm Jerry," Jerry said.

"You guys have nice names," the crow complimented. "I'm Crowie and I work for the magic testing facility." He pulled out a vial filled with red potion. "Take a look at this. It's supposed to make people fly by drinking it."

As he got closer to them, he tripped and fell, causing the potion to spill all over him.

"That's a shame," Tom said. "He has no use for that kind of thing."

Crowie twitched on the ground. The potion seemed to be affecting him in some mysterious way. Tom and Jerry decided they should help him. They picked him up and carried him to the facility, where they were let in by a group of scientists. Crowie was put on a stretcher and brought to a room filled with hi tech equipment.

"What happened?" a scientist asked.

"He was showing us a flying potion when he tripped and fell," Jerry replied. "It's doing something strange to him."

Another scientist took a sample of potion from Crowie's feathers and tested the components of it under a microscope. "This isn't flying potion," the scientist said. "I'm not sure what it is."

Crowie began to twitch. He closed his eyes tightly and cried out. His features were starting to become more like that of a natural crow and he grew slightly in size.

"Crowie?" asked a scientist.

"The name's not Crowie," Crowie muttered. He opened his eyes, which were glowing red. "It's Red Eyes!"

Red Eyes stood up and spread his huge wings, knocking over equipment. People shrieked as he flew around the room, tossing things everywhere. He grabbed the hood of a Bunsen burner in his talons and ripped it apart, causing a fire to erupt. Everyone dashed out of the facility, screaming. Cops were arriving on the scene.

Tom and Jerry decided that the best thing to do would be to go home and warn their owners about Red Eyes. Red Eyes flew after them as they were going to the house. They ran upstairs, flailing their arms around like maniacs.

"Robyn!" they shouted.

They quickly told her what was going on. She got her father and they all dashed out of the house. Red Eyes was standing in the driveway with a bomb in his hand. It had been so easy for him to find it in Tom's stuff.

"Say goodbye to your house!" he shouted and tossed it behind him.

BOOM! Red Eyes took to the sky, the last of him disappearing through the smoke. Robyn's dad got out his flip phone to call the fire department.

"Gotta go," Tom said.

"Tom, Jerry, wait!" Robyn exclaimed.

"Sorry! We can't!"

With their owners safe, Tom and Jerry needed to take the next step to protecting their world. They planned to enlist the help of a new cross-world operative. She was most likely had nothing better to do, which made her the perfect person to seek out.

* * *

 **EARTH JQ06, September 26, 2004.**

 **PARIS, FRANCE.**

Autumn was just chilling at lunch. Kodee had been sent off to sit by himself, thereby leaving her all alone as well. She had zero other friends in this world. Life sucked.

She lined up her goldfish crackers in five rows of four, pretending they were a class full of students. Then, she pretended that two of the students were cannibals and had them slowly devour their classmates. This was something she did every single day for all of third grade (seriously though, I did that). Sometimes, when that storyline got boring, she pretended her juice pouch was an evil giant vacuum cleaner that was posing as a teacher.

While she was in the middle of sadistically playing with her food, a glowing purple portal opened over the table and Tom and Jerry came sliding across it. They knocked over Autumn's third grade teacher, Ms. Spareb.

"Got off of me!" Ms. Spareb shouted.

Tom and Jerry dashed over to Autumn.

"Tom, are you chasing Jerry again?" Autumn asked.

"No," Tom replied. "It's Red Eyes."

"Red Eyes?"

"Yes."

"He's an evil giant crow thing!" Jerry added.

"Yeah, yeah," Autumn said. "I'll talk to you after recess, but only if you give me food."

"Grrr," Tom growled.

"Yeah, sure, it's a deal," Jerry said.

Tom and Jerry left through the window to find a place to hide until Autumn could be done with her fun. After lunch, her class went to recess and she was able to talk to Kodee.

"There's been a problem in Cartoon World," she said.

"What est it?" Kodee asked.

"An evil crow. We have to stop him."

"Oh, okay."

They found Tom and Jerry hiding in some bushes. They didn't have cell phones back then, so they couldn't call their parents to get a ride home. Looks like they would have to walk. Thankfully, their bodies hadn't been too destroyed by junk food yet, and they were able to make it without fainting or dying.

When Autumn and Kodee checked their closet, they saw that the portal was gone. Autumn turned on the TV and inputted a special code that had been given to them by a Cartoon World agent. This was a well known code among all cross-world travelers, and it had originally been created by a mysterious hacker.

"69022010200112202."

By putting in the code, Autumn, Kodee, Tom, and Jerry were able to see the Cartoon news broadcast. A cartoon rabbit was on the screen warning everyone about Red Eyes.

"He's bad news!" the reporter said. "He's creating the potion in mass quantities and plans to flood the entire world!"

Oh noes!

* * *

 **CARTOON WORLD, September 28, 2004.**

 **FORLORN CAVERNS, BRAZONA.**

Red Eyes had found a giant castle from medieval times to call his home. It was dark, cold, and mysterious- perfect for an evil crow like himself. There was no denying that he was the villain of this story.

"MWAHAHAHA!" he laughed as he tossed some ingredients into a cauldron.

Two eggs, one blue and one green, came floating out of it and landed in front of him. These were to be his helpers, but first, he would have to take care of them until he hatched.

He placed them on a soft rug and sat on them for days. He read them chapters of "Wuthering Heights" to get them acquainted with drama. On the third day, he felt movement. He backed away as two crows emerged from the eggs. Both were black as the night.

"I shall call you Blue Eyes," Red Eyes said, pointing to the one with blue eyes, "and you Green Eyes," he said, pointing to the other, who most obviously had green eyes. "You two will be my helpers, and together, we shall turn everyone evil! MWAHAHAHA!"

* * *

 **EARTH JQ06, September 32, 2004.**

 **PARIS, FRANCE.**

Autumn, Kodee, Tom, and Jerry had finally collected all of the magic ingredients they needed to create a portal. They mixed a pack of Skittles, two four leaf clovers, candle wax, a banana, and a pair of Air Jordans into a blender and tossed the concoction at the wall in their room, causing a portal to open up. They switched the bed to car mode, causing tires and a steering wheel to appear. Autumn and Kodee quickly piled all of their stuffed animals on top of it and they all drove through the portal together.

They headed down the street and parked at the magic testing facility. The scientists were looking over some video footage from the day that Crowie became Red Eyes.

"Tom, Jerry," a scientist said. "Oh, and aren't these people Autumn and Kodee?"

The two kids nodded.

"Okay, good," the scientist said. "You're just in time. We looked over the tape and made a shocking discovery."

The scientist played the tape. On the TV, Crowie entered a room and got to work at his designated testing area. A lady walked up to him with a vial of red potion.

"You're new here aren't you?" she asked.

Crowie nodded. "Just started yesterday," he replied.

"Well, how would you like to advertise our greatest product? It's a flying potion!"

He smiled and walked out of the room with the potion. The footage ended right there.

"Someone tricked him," the scientist said.

"No shit," another scientist replied.

"Sir, there are children with us."

Autumn and Kodee looked to each other, wondering what "shit" meant. Nevermind. They had a job to do, and that was to seek out this evil crow and put a stop to his actions. They kind of felt bad for him. After all, it wasn't his fault that he was evil. It had been that mysterious lady person, who you can bet the officials were trying to track at this very moment.

Autumn and Kodee got back in their bed car. Tom and Jerry stood by it.

"We'll catch up with you," Tom said. "We need to make sure Robyn is alright."

Autumn cranked up the car and drove off. They needed to find Red Eyes, but the only clues they had to his location were sightings on the news. It seems that he had been heading South, so that was where they needed to go.

The road they went on took them to a huge, winding highway. There were few cars here because most of the cartoons had fled in the opposite direction.

"Hey, want me to drive?" a voice asked.

Autumn turned to Kodee. "Was that you?" she asked. He shook his head.

"It was me," said Prissy, her pink stuffed tabby cat.

Autumn shrieked. "How are you alive?!" she asked.

"When we entered this world, the magic from it enabled us to move and talk."

"That makes total sense. Take the wheel."

She gave the wheel to her plushie friend and moved to the back of the bed to look at all of her other stuffed animals. Surely enough, they were also sentient beings now. She was greeted by all of her favorites: Frissy, daughter of Prissy; Crakey, a green Pteri Neopet with white spots; Chumbey, a blue Chomby Neopet with yellow stars; Flitter, a butterfly; Shontaclear, a blue jay; Elsa, a cream colored kagu; and Hearts, a brown teddy from Build-a-Bear that Autumn and Kodee considered to be their daughter.

"My friends!" Autumn exclaimed.

"Mes amis!" Kodee added.

The stuffed animals cheered. At last, they could tell their owners all about what happened at the house while school was in.

"We pretty much just sat there and did nothing," Flitter said. "But, occasionally, a portal would open up in our toy box, causing us to fall in and gain new life. This usually happened on Fridays."

"How did you know to return whenever Kodee and I got back?" Autumn asked.

"Because we're not idiots. The first thing we did was watch Toy Story and learn from it."

"Okay, fair enough."

"You seem like a very gullible person, but I'm glad you're willing to accept the truth."

The highway stretched on for many miles. It took days before they were able to find a gas station. Autumn filled the tank up with Kool-Aid and they kept going. By the fifth day of road travel, they finally made it to Pillow Fort City! The road was made of blankets that sloped upwards into towers of pillows. Autumn took the wheel and drove them up to the Caring Station.

She pulled up to a service lot, located right beside a large stack of pillows and blankets. One of the lost Care Bear Cousins was sitting there. She was a pale rainbow rabbit with a carrot sword tummy symbol.

"Who are you, and where are True Heart and Noble Heart?" Autumn asked.

"My name is Rainbowheart Bunny, and those two aren't in because they're off on some mission," the cousin replied. "Those two can be really mysterious."

"Yeah, I always wondered what they were up to in the second movie. Anyway, they could be trying to stop Red Eyes."

"Maybe. Is that what you were doing?"

"Yeah. I came here to seek help."

"Well, I can't help you, but there's a restaurant on one of the higher levels of the city that the rest of the Care Bears like to eat at. I'll give you the address, and perhaps you could get some help from them."

She handed them a slip of paper with the restaurant info jotted down. Autumn drove the car high into the city and parked outside of the restaurant. She went inside with Kodee and told the stuffed animals to stay put.

Cheer bear, Funshine Bear, Friend Bear, and Secret Bear were sitting together at a table with a basket of French fries. Autumn and Kodee took a seat with them.

"Hi guys," Friend Bear said.

"Hi," Autumn and Kodee replied, looking all adorable since they were kids.

"Is there something you need?" Cheer Bear asked.

"Yes," Autumn replied. "We need an army to find and battle Red Eyes. We were hoping you could join."

"Well…"

"Don't you dare try to back out. I saw how you took on Darkheart. After all, you guys are obligated to care."

"I was going to say yes."

"Me too," the rest of the Care Bears replied.

"Oh, well, thank you!" Autumn exclaimed.

Cheer Bear dipped her French fry into some ketchup and ate it. She began to feel strange. Moments later, her eyes started glowing red.

"There's potion in the ketchup!" Funshine bear exclaimed, dropping her fry.

Autumn smacked the condiments off of the table. This is why she will never eat ketchup ever again.

Autumn, Kodee, Funshine Bear, Secret Bear, and Friend Bear ran away from their friend. They dashed through the restaurant and came to a sport shop. The end of the shop had no wall and they were miles off the ground. They all bought hang gliders and charged out the side of the building with them, sailing through the air. They soared through the sky, getting far away from the now evil Cheer Bear.

Funshine Bear started to cry at the loss of her bestest friend. While she was distracted, she flew into a floating net covered in evil potion. The others hurried to get away as she, too, turned evil.

Autumn, Kodee, Friend Bear, and Secret Bear landed in the blanketed street below. Prissy drove up to them in the Bed Car.

"Need a lift?" Prissy asked.

They all hopped on and Prissy drove away just as Funshine Bear came to a landing. They drove out of the city and continued down the road.

* * *

 **CARTOON WORLD, Septober 46, 2004.**

 **LABRINTH JUNCTION, MARICO.**

Many days passed. Everyone survived off of fast food, and when they needed to sleep, well, the car was a bed.

Prissy, Flitter, Friend Bear, Secret Bear, Autumn, and Kodee were all in charge of driving. They took turns and shifts and because of their numbers, no one had to be behind the wheel for too long.

The group came to a large city that very much resembled any well developed city one might find on Earth. The roads were almost empty except for a few cars that were parallel parked. Giant TV screens on the sides of buildings displayed advertisements.

The group reached a large intersection in the middle of the street with many of these TVs. Friend Bear pointed to them. "Look," she said.

Everyone looked at the screens. Red Eyes was being displayed on them.

"MWHAHAHAHA!" he laughed. "Today I flood Cartoon World with potion! You, Autumn and Kodee! I'm coming for you!"

A shadow lurked over the city. Everyone turned to see that a tidal wave of potion was headed straight for them! Red Eyes had been clever; he'd sent it from the North rather than from his castle, which meant that everyone who had fled would have become evil.

Autumn mashed the gas button, which caused the car to go zooming south. Everyone hung onto the bedspread. They headed through a large road going uphill as potion crashed around the buildings, flooding the streets. They managed to escape the wave, but the potion level continued to rise.

Within minutes, the potion had surrounded the car. Everyone was safe because the car could float. Autumn shifted it into boat mode and they sailed towards the city's exit.

Blue Eyes and Green Eyes came flying around the buildings. They were almost as big as Red Eyes, but not quite. Autumn had heard about these criminals on the news.

Green eyes grabbed onto Autumn's shoulders with his talons. Kodee punched him away. "Leave her alone!" Kodee shouted. Blue eyes came and raked his talons across Kodee's face, sending him tumbling backwards onto the bed. The stuffed animals dashed forward and attacked the crows. Some of them were carried away and dropped into the potion.

The crows flew away, leaving everyone else behind. Friend Bear took the wheel and steered them out of the city. Secret Bear bandaged Kodee's bleeding face with a blanket.

"Thank you for saving me," Autumn said.

"De rien," Kodee replied.

For days, they travelled through a sea of red potion. This stuff had consumed cities and plant life. The economy was going to be thrown off balance as a result.

Secret Bear began to cry as she thought of the friends that had been lost.

"There, there," Friend Bear said. "I'm sure there's some way we can turn our friends good again." She turned to Autumn. "Isn't there?"

"I wouldn't know," Autumn replied.

Everyone sighed. Autumn thought about this potion crisis and what it could mean for everyone. If the level continued to rise, it would reach Earth. Everyone she hated would become more unbearable than they already were.

"We're not gonna give up, though," Autumn said. "Not until all of this is fixed."

Everyone smiled.

* * *

 **CARTOON WORLD, Septober 84, 2004.**

 **SOMEWHERE OUT AT SEA.**

Times were rough in this desolate world. Sometimes, they would find a skyscraper tall enough to search for food in. Other times, there was nothing.

While they were floating in what appeared to be the middle of no where, they were met by a fearsome creature of the sea- a hydra. It had three heads with long necks and black scales. Its eyes glowed red and its huge fangs dripped with potion.

"Get under the covers!" Autumn ordered.

Everyone got under there. The hydra roared, letting them know it was not going to leave. Autumn peeked outside and was face to face with two of those terrible eyes. She grabbed a pillow and bashed it on the head. Beneath that pillow was a…door?

"Le trunk!" Kodee exclaimed.

"You didn't tell me we had a trunk!" Autumn shouted, tossing the pillow into the potion. She opened the door and looked inside. There was a sword. Well, that would have been nice to know earlier on!

She yanked the sword out of the compartment and flung it around. The hydra backed away. "Ha ha ha-ha ha," Autumn laughed tauntingly. One of the heads lunged for her, and she sliced it off.

"What are you doing?" Friend Bear asked as she emerged from under the covers. "You can't cut off the head of a hydra!"

"I just did," Autumn replied.

In place of that head, three more grew back. The hydra gave a mighty roar.

"Aim for le heart!" Kodee exclaimed.

Heads kept lunging in for the kill and Autumn had no choice but to cut them off. It was getting mighty hard to locate the heart with all of the heads that were growing back.

"I can't aim to throw!" Autumn exclaimed. She began to cry. This reminded her of how she'd never pursued her dreams of becoming a basketball all-star.

All of the plushies were peeking outside now, except for Elsa, who was asleep. Flitter grabbed the sword from Autumn's hand and flew at the hydra. The creature lunged for her with its many heads, but it wasn't able to match her incredible butterfly speed. She jammed the sword into the creature's heart, drawing black blood. As it collapsed into the sea, one of its heads grabbed her and carried her down with it.

The friends all stared at the spot where Flitter had gone down. At first they thought she was dead, but then she rose out of the sea of potion, her eyes glowing red. Kodee ran to the wheel and steered them away from her. She tried to chase them, but her wings were being weighed down by the substance that consumed her soul.

Within hours, they finally reached land. Kodee switched the bed back into car mode and drove them onto the grassy hill that led into a town. There was a school there, and the kids and the Care Bears decided to go inside.

"Welcome," said the principal, who had been waiting at the entrance. "We've been expecting you."

They were given a class schedule for the day. Autumn was happy to be back in school for a while. She needed some knowledge to ease her mind. Thankfully, she was at an age where learning didn't cause migraines.

The four friends walked into a classroom. Most of the students were caterpillar plushies with colorful bands. They received a lesson on types of rocks and were then released to recess. They went out onto the playground, which had many swings. Autumn spotted Jerry on one of them.

"Jerry!" she called.

Tom was pushing Jerry on the swing. He took the swing and flung it around, causing Jerry to go flying over the school and into the distance.

"Tom," Autumn scolded. "That wasn't very nice."

"He was hogging the swing," Tom replied.

"There are like a million other ones here."

Tom shrugged. If Homestuck had been out at the time, Autumn would have instantly realized that a kismesis was in bloom between those two. The hatred was so beautiful.

The friends got on the swings together and swung. Jerry managed to make it back to the playground just as recess was starting to end. He shot Tom a look of anger and discontent for he had lost precious moments of play that he may never reclaim.

Lunch followed up, and the weary travelers were given pudding and goldfish crackers to ease their hunger. Then, they went to math class and learned about multiplication. Autumn had not seen hell yet. She was still innocent enough to think that math was fun. She had not seen hell...

When school let out, Autumn, Kodee, Tom, Jerry, Friend Bear, and Secret Bear came with them. Some of the colorful caterpillar plushies joined them. They travelled down the beaten road for many days, occasionally stopping at the houses of various cartoon characters to rest. Some of the characters, such as the Powerpuff Girls, Dexter from Dexter's Lab, the cast of Dragon Tales, Kids Next Door, and the cast of Winnie the Pooh joined them. The bed had to be modified into a triple bunk bed with tunnels to get up and down. The tunnels were essential because if they had to cross another sea of potion, there would be a risk of falling in. As another precaution, a fence was built around the side of the bed.

In spite of the upgrades, it was still getting crowded, and the group would need to split up to collect more info on the location of Red Eyes. They went to the store and purchased several plastic car-boats for the stuffed animals. Frissy, Crakey, Chumbey, and Elsa grouped up and left in one of these vehicles. They brought with them Fruit Gushers, for they didn't yet know the evil lurking within the snacks. They also brought along Cheez-Its and rope. They drove down a bridge leading from a higher level of the mall into a skyscraper. The Cartoon World news was being broadcast in a large room.

"The flood is coming!" the reporter shouted. "The flood is coming!"

"We must warn our friends," Frissy said.

"No," Crakey replied. "I've never received a Christmas present from anyone. Now is the time for them to pay!"

Crakey pushed Frissy away and took the wheel. Frissy tried to regain control, but Crakey kept pushing her. Chumbey was cowering in the corner and Elsa was taking a nap.

"Elsa!" Frissy exclaimed, hoping to rouse her.

"She's hibernating, you idiot," Crakey replied.

"You're so mean! I did get you a present for Christmas, but the postman ate it! Are you happy now?"

"That's a huge lie!"

"No it isn't! I got you a snow globe because I love you!"

Crakey looked to her. Their eyes locked and they moved closer to each other. Crakey pulled her in for a kiss. Romantic music played in the background.

Then, the car spun out of control because no one was driving. Elsa nearly flew out of the vehicle, but Chumbey caught her and proceeded to take the wheel. Chumbey: A true American hero.

Chumbey steered them back towards the mall, but by the time they arrived, their friends were gone. From the window, they saw that the streets had begun to flood. Chumbey drove down there and switched the vehicle into boat gear. Unfortunately, it wasn't very fast.

"Perhaps if Crakey could use the rope to pull the boat," Chumbey suggested.

"No," Crakey replied.

"Didn't you once say you were the fastest flyer out off all of the plushies?"

"Yes."

"Then prove that to us."

Crakey took the rope and attached it to himself and the boat. He took off through the air, pulling the boat behind him.

"I'm not doing this for you," Crakey told Chumbey. "I'm doing this for the underprivileged black man."

He took the boat around the city in the search for their friends, but alas, they had been separated. At this point Autumn, Kodee, and the rest wouldn't need to be warned.

"We should keep searching on our own," Frissy suggested.

"Okay," Crakey agreed.

It was getting dark, so they found a nice park bench to sleep under. It was in a plaza that was elevated out of the potion. It was lit by golden lights and had a fountain in the middle.

Frissy, Crakey, and Chumbey sat in a circle outside of the bench and ate Cheez-Its. Crakey suddenly noticed something sticking out of the tuft of fur on Elsa's head. It was a communication device. He pressed the call button.

"Hello?" asked a voice. "Is this Hydra?"

"Who is Hydra?" Crakey asked, and the person on the other line hung up. "Weird."

He stuck the device on Elsa's head. Boy, was she a useless bird. She didn't belong on this mission.

The next day, everyone got back in the boat and Crakey pulled them onto the street. They went to McDonald's to get some lunch. It was a tradition among stuffed animals to eat lunch before breakfast.

McDonald's brought back memories for Crackey and Chumbey. Autumn had acquired both of them through Happy Meals. Such good times. They knew Autumn would never abandon them.

Eight years later, she would.

They ordered the 4 piece mcnugget meal and each stuffie got a nugget. Elsa woke up temporarily to eat hers. When she fell back asleep, she was visited by Timone in her dreams.

"You are the ultimate lazy samurai. When your quest to defeat Red Eyes is over, you shall help me to serve the devil and teach Autumn in the ways of sloth. Remember the motto: hakuna matata."

Then, Elsa fell asleep inside of her dream and continued to do so in her dreams' dreams. Crakey tossed her into the boat with everyone else and they left McDonald's.

* * *

 **CARTOON WORLD, Octember 22, 2004.**

 **FORLORN CAVERNS, BRAZONA.**

Red Eyes's castle had been transformed from medieval shambles to a high tech laboratory. A team of scientists was working under his watch to create more and more evil potion. This potion had been modified to make its victims mindless savages rather than intelligent, evil beings. That way, Red Eyes would have control over them.

"I want the whole world flooded tonight," he told his scientists. "Otherwise, I will eat you."

He had never had the taste of freshly killed flesh, but it sounded delicious. The thought of blood turned him on. He eyed each of the scientists, knowing that either way, he would get something good out of this.

Autumn's army had found the lair. It was within their line of sight. They had to march there because their car had been destroyed by goblins. Thankfully, there was no potion here- only solid rock.

Crakey drove up to them.

"We found you!" Frissy exclaimed.

"Brilliant!" Autumn replied happily. "I missed you." She lifted Frissy out of the car and hugged her.

After that, everyone gathered behind a pile of rocks to devise a plan.

"I've almost finished the plans for the machine that will turn everyone good again," Dexter said.

"Perfect," Autumn replied.

"I will make sure ze army stays 'zen ordair," Kodee replied.

"Secret Bear and I will help Kodee," Friend Bear said.

"I'll cut the wires to stop the potion equipment from working," Jerry said.

"Me too," Tom added.

"The rest of you vill fight in my army," Kodee said.

"Alright," Autumn said. "Let's do this!"

Kodee's half of the army ran to the castle and charged through the entrance. The entrance hall was white with blue lining and turquoise tech. The scientists inside began sending out distress calls.

All of the evil cartoons were released from their cages and sent downstairs to the army's location.

"Attack!" Kodee ordered. His army charged for the evil cartoons.

Friend Bear and Secret Bear were leading their army down a secret corridor. In the middle of it, Secret Bear pulled Friend Bear off to the side and told her a secret.

"I love you," Secret Bear whispered.

Friend Bear pulled her in for a passionate kiss.

"We don't have time for this," Dexter said, peeking around the corner.

The army continued onward to the lab room. Dexter got to work on his invention while the rest of the army fought to make sure he wasn't disturbed.

Red Eyes flew down from the railing and snatched Autumn in the air, causing both her and Kodee to scream. Red Eyes brought her to a ledge and held her by the collar of her shirt.

"Are you ready to join me?" he asked.

"Please don't make me drink the potion," Autumn begged.

"I don't need to. There is a darkness in your soul; a persuasive desire that is begging you to kill. You want to have control over death."

"You don't know me."

"Wrong. You don't know me."

He held her over the ledge.

"No!" Kodee shouted.

Blue Eyes and Green Eyes flew over to Kodee and tore into him until he had been split in two. Blood pooled up where his body lay.

Autumn cried out as tears streamed down her face.

"See?" Red Eyes asked. "Isn't it wonderful."

Autumn screamed. "YOU'RE A MONSTER!" she screeched.

She latched onto Red Eyes and started violently ripping out his feathers. He laughed maniacally as she unleashed her rage.

"I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL YOU ARE DESTROYED!" Autumn said.

"Then you have learned to appreciate death," Red Eyes replied. He grabbed her with his foot and threw her across the floor. "Unfortunately, you cannot defeat me."

Autumn buried her face in her hands and wept. "Kodee!" she cried. "Kodee...my best friend..."

As she lied there hopelessly, the cartoons continued to fight. Friends had turned on friends, brothers on brothers. Red Eyes laughed as blood continued to spill.

"Almost finished with that?" Friend Bear asked.

"Give me another second," Dexter replied. He secured the last bolt in place. "Ah ha!" He turned to the army. "It is ready! Now, go and bring me that stupid bird!"

Crakey handed Elsa to him.

"Not that one!" Dexter shouted, smacking his face with his hand.

The army charged out of the lab and ran downstairs. They were met by a catastrophic scene of war and bloodshed.

"Kodee!" Friend Bear cried.

There was an image that would scar her for life. He was barely recognizable through all of the blood.

Clifford charged for Friend Bear, his eyes glowing red. Secret Bear stopped him with the Care Bear stare. His eyes flickered back to normal and then became red again.

A group of cartoons grabbed onto Red Eyes and carried him away. He shouted for Blue Eyes and Green Eyes. As they were approaching, the Powerpuff Girls blasted them with their heat vision, reducing them to a smoldering pile of ash.

Red Eyes was brought into the lab and thrown inside of the Goodness Chamber (what the stuffed animals decided to name Dexter's invention). Dexter turned it on. Everyone could see Red Eyes by looking through the glass.

"He's still evil," Spongebob said. "He's stiiill evil."

Dexter tapped his chin. Why wasn't it working?!

"It needs something else," Dexter said. "But what?"

"Secret Bear!" Friend Bear exclaimed. "We could try using the Care Bear stare on the machine."

Secret Bear nodded. They both did the Care Bear on the machine, sending a blast of cosmic love. The glow faded from Red Eye's eyes and he became anthropomorphic again.

"Crowie?" Jerry asked as he and Tom entered the room.

"What happened?" Crowie asked, rubbing his head.

Everyone cheered.

"Whaaat?" Dexter questioned. "That's not how science works!"

Everyone lifted Dexter into the air. "Hip hip hooray!"

"I think I should see a doctor..." Crowie said.

"Umm, guys?" Tom asked. "Hate to kill the mood, but during our mission, Jerry and I discovered a bomb that's supposed to go off in ten minutes."

Everyone screamed and bolted for the exit. Tom and Jerry helped to carry Crowie away. Soon, everyone was safe, except for Autumn.

She couldn't move because she was dying. The thing about mimis was, they couldn't live without their soulmates. It was a physical impossibility. Her vision faded to black.

When she regained consciousness, she was in the clouds. Then, a voice spoke to her from on high.

"Autumn," it said.

"God?" Autumn asked.

"No, I am not God. I am Joshua, your true lord and savior. I have come to give you and Kodee a second chance for your holy sacrifice."

"I-I don't know what to say..."

"No need to say anything. My love for you and your people goes beyond space and time. Use this gift of life for good, and stay on the path of righteousness. Then and only then shall you live to find peace."

For a moment, she saw his face, and it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

She woke up next to Kodee, who was restored. He was currently asleep, so she picked him up and carried him outside. Tom lifted them into the car and they drove away from the castle as it erupted in a burst of flames.

* * *

 **EARTH'S MOON, October 1, 2004.**

 **BASE 413.**

The trolls and their human friends were chilling in their base on the moon. It was pretty much like a giant house but with oxygen processors and artificial gravity. Everyone had started living here together a few months ago, which has quickly led to chaos.

Dave, Rose, Roxy, John, Sollux, Karkat, and Kanaya were watching the Earth news in the living room. It was something about George Bush. Then, a report came on about a dog stealing everyone's mail.

"THIS VERSION OF EARTH FUCKING SUCKS," Karkat said. "I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THEY CANCELLED CARTOON CARTOON FRIDAYS. THAT WAS MY ONLY SOURCE OF JOY IN LIFE, AND NOW IT'S GONE."

"yeah man that was the shit know what im sayin," Dave added.

"I'M READY TO GET OFF THIS MOON."

"Kk, you know we need two 2tay here two watch over the civilization2," Sollux said.

"WE'VE POPULATED THREE OF JUPITER'S MOONS WITH THOSE EGG THINGS THAT ROXY KEEPS RETRIEVING. WHY ARE WE WATCHING EARTH INSTEAD OF WATCHING OUR NEW HELLSPAWNS?"

"bruh, calm down," Roxy said.

Karkat glared at Roxy. Telling him to calm down wasn't the best move.

"THERE IS NO REASON FOR ME TO CALM DOWN. THREE MOONS, FILLED WITH GRUBS. AND YET WE ARE YEARS, FUCKING YEARS, AWAY FROM THE NEAREST ONE."

Kankri walked into the room. "All9w me t9 take it from here," he said, causing Karkat to groan. "Up9n the creati9on 9f a new civilizati9n, we must all9w time f9r it t9 devel9p 9n its 9wn- t9 fl9urish with9ut the influence 9f a previ9sly damaged s9ciety. I'm n9t speaking of any9ne in particular wh9 w9uld have caused it t9 fall under the categ9ry 9f damaged, since that w9uld 6e a trigger, but y9u have t9 take int9 acc9unt the eff9rt that went int9 freeing 9urselves fr9m that infernal game. It's imperative that y9u-"

"I CAN'T TAKE IT!" Karkat shouted. "SILENCE YOUR WORD HOLE IMMEDIATELY."

"That's extremely rude."

"I'LL SHOW YOU RUDE!"

Karkat lifted Kankri into the air.

"Karkat!" Kanaya scolded.

"Karkat, please, put your dancestor down," Rose said.

"I WILL NOT!" Karkat shouted.

"This is un9rth9d9x," Kankri said.

Karkat tried to spin Kankri around but ended up dropping him. Frustrated, he ran off and came crashing through the window, getting sucked out into space.

"Karkat!" John exclaimed. "We have to save him!"

"thii2 ii2 the fiifth tiime he's done that," Sollux said. "ii stopped cariing on the 2econd."

"But he needs to breathe."

"Either A Space Ferret Will Rescue Him Or The Base's Vacuum Cleaner Will Pull Him Back In," Kanaya reassured.

They resumed watching the news. Kankri was laying on the floor in a fetal position. Porrim walked in and carried him away.

"thiis iis boriing," Sollux said.

He switched the TV to the code input network and typed in the code that he had craftily designed. 69022010200112202 This brought them to the Cartoon World News network.

"Autumn and Kodee managed to save everyone from the potion," the reporter said. "Dexter's machine erased the evil that had been put into the souls of our beloved friends. Officials are still trying to uncover the whereabouts of the lady who gave Crowie the potion and who placed the bomb in the castle. Many believe those two events are connected, but we'll still have to see. As of now, hardly anyone on Earth knows about this."

"Hey, Sollux," John said, turning to him. "Can't you hack into Earth's news with the code so it'll receive this message?"

"2ure," Sollux replied.

He typed it in and sent the broadcast into Earth's news. Thanks to his mad hacking skills, Autumn and Kodee's story would be cherished by all until people stopped giving a shit.

Vriska and Terezi walked into the room. A picture of Autumn was being displayed on the screen.

Vriska narrowed her eyes. "She looks like a young serial killer," she said.

"Y3S," Terezi said. "MUCH L1K3 YOU."

Little did Vriska know that this adorable eight year old girl would grow up to become a scary Homestuck fan and go on to have a bunch of scary Homestuck sex with her. For now, the trolls were still in the shadows, for Andrew Hussie had yet to tell their story. They would spend years on the moon before visiting Earth JQ06, Karkat would get sucked into a vortex countless times, and Obama would be elected president.

* * *

 **Author's Note: And there you have it! Even though the story itself is far from over, I intend to leave it as well as everything else behind for a life with the real Kodee. If you read my profile, you'll understand more about what I'm implying here. I want to thank everyone who has made it this far and apologize to those who were enjoying it. Please take care and have a happy life!**


End file.
